The Party Predicament


Its been a long day today even thought I’ve spent the majority of it not doing much at all,  I took a slow walk into the village this morning as it was nice (I’m making the most of it) to sort some post, banking etc and get some supplies from the local shop.  It’s times like this that I appreciate having the place to ourselves now the tourists have gone home.  Also, as I have said many times before, it’s my favourite time of the year – it’s (usually) dry, the leaves have changed to a glorious golden colour, and the nights are shorter and often spent relaxing round the fire with Mrs Bob.

When I returned home, Mrs Bob had started cooking some brunch, so there was a mixture of wondrous smells emanating from the kitchen and throughout the downstairs of the house.  This took me back to Saturdays at my grandparents house when I would walk back with my grandfather from chapel and grandma would have started cooking some lunch for us. I’m guessing that the smell of food had wafted through the cat flap as Dog (our adopted cat) decided he wanted to take a break from chasing leaves up and down the cul-de-sac and join us for a spot of brunch.

Once all of us were feeling somewhat tired (good food does that) we decided that we would retire upstairs for a lie-down, and where I could stream some television or a movie while we relaxed before we had to get ready for the long evening ahead. Mrs Bob and Dog decided that relaxing was far too stimulating and went to sleep, leaving me in charge of the remotes (with great power comes great irresponsibility) so I decided to watch a (erm….) good horror film. My favourites are based on true stories, and this was no exception, being based on the 1946 Texarkana Moonlight Murders.

Then came the part of the day I had been dreading all week – a party….. now I can hear you NTs making comments at the screen such as “I love a party” and “What’s wrong with you.”. Well let’s start at the very beginning shall we (usually the best idea) Firstly, there is choosing an outfit for the party and I should point out that I don’t do or understand the term ‘smart-casual’. The idea of shoes and a shirt worn with jeans is very alien to me – it just doesn’t go; you can’t wear a suit as it’s too formal, which is a shame as a suit with a nice tie or bow-tie is brilliant. Men, you can’t tell me you don’t get all James Bond or Bruce Wayne while wearing a suit. So I decided to settle on a pair of jeans, one of my best nerdy belt buckles (I’m a regular Howard Wolowitz) and a new smart-looking BvS t-shirt with my best skate shoes and a hat.

Then came the next challenge: driving there (106 mile round trip) in the dark with Mrs Bob on navigation duties.  I don’t like driving in the dark, and Mrs Bob was suffering from a bad back. I should point out that the only person I knew at this party was Mrs Bob, so it was a scary thought even walking in there, and although I was aware of her friend whose party it was, I hadn’t ever spoken to her. Fortunately for me, the birthday girl has experience of ASD individuals and was aware of my aspieness, which meant she didn’t do the usual NT thing of trying to touch me. She just smiled and waved hello, saving her hugs for Mrs Bob. I really appreciated that

The other thing with parties is that I’m at a huge disadvantage compared to NTs in the same position as me. They can read a number of things including (but not limited to) facial expressions, micro expressions, vocal tones and body language whereas I can’t. Also, loud music plus lots of people talking makes it impossible for me to concentrate on things and if I should manage to talk to a stranger, I come across as shifty or rude due to my lack of eye contact and whatever I might come out with. I managed to stutter a few words out to the birthday girl and surprisingly didn’t make too much of an ass of myself.

We only stayed a very short time, as Mrs Bob was in so much pain with her back, and I got us back home in one piece so I’ll take that as a win.

Stay Safe x

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