Big Fish, Little Fish (no cardboard box)

As it was my day off yesterday, I decided to go back to my local comic book store and see if there were any decent bargains on hand, after the last trip turned up a fantastic gem of a graphic novel for less than the price of a caramel latte.

I was greeted by the owner who happily chatted with me about comic books TV, etc. Then the subject of the conversation turned to the poetry evening that I’ve been asked to appear at, and that I’ve mentioned in one of my previous blog posts. At this point, the owner said that she had managed to secure two more people to appear at the evening, and showed me their books. They are comic book artists who are using their comic books to promote their poetry, and are on the indie published section of the store. It was at this point that I began to feel a big wave of anxiety, as I began to feel that I might be a little out of my depth, These people have obviously published their poetry in a comic book as crossovers through publishers, and I’m now feeling very much like a very small fish in a big pond regarding this event.

I’m not sure why, but I now feel that maybe I’m not good enough to take on this event. I mean, these people are real professionals and I’m just a person who just happens to throw a few words on the page and hopes that some of it makes sense. I guess, though, that all of us start at some point on a journey as just a novice or a noob, and gradually grow. I’m sure that at some point, Shakespeare and Picasso were told that they needed to work on this… that they had some skill, but they need tuning or honing. Before you think I’m being arrogant, I wouldn’t ever dare compare my scribbles to the skills of those creative geniuses.

I’m just beginning to realise what a mammoth task I’ve decided to undertake. What seemed like a nice little informal poetry night and a chance to share my thoughts and works and to work on my social skills, is now a very scary undertaking that will either make or break me.

Let’s hope I can hang with the big boys and girls. In exactly one month, we shall see.

If you’re interested in coming down and supporting your local Aspie, please feel free to email me Aspergerspoet@gmail.com for details.

Stay Safe X

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