About Bob Christian

Aspie, Poet, Author. Creator of Behind the Mask, Scribblology, Alexithymia & (Re)Mixtapes

M-(B)Theory

Here’s a little something. I scribbled for my wonderful wife Mrs Bob, as an explanation of how I feel. I wish I could say these things to her instead of just scribbling them down. So in honour of my amazing wife, and what ultimately brought us together. I give you a little something called Quantum Entanglement….

By Bob Christian

Quantum Entanglement

You are the nucleus to my electron,

Dancing endlessly, on the sands of time.

Holding each other, an eternal bond,

Never ending or beginning.

(C) BobChristianpoetry

Coffee and a Catch-up

Coffee time. (C)BobChristianpoetry

It’s been a while since I’ve shared my ramblings on life, so I thought we could sit down, grab a coffee or whatever hot beverage you find socially appropriate, (sorry Mrs Bob – lol) and have a chat. Please do pull up a chair and join me …

I’ve just passed my probationary period at my new job, sorry, did I not tell you? My bad. So, in June I was looking to move jobs to be closer to home. Petrol prices at the time meant my job of nearly two years was becoming ridiculously cost prohibitive. So I had a couple of interviews – one at a bakery, with a commute of about 20 minutes each way, which was at least half of my regular commute time to Exeter, and a lot fewer miles. (Incidentally, my work experience, first Saturday & full time job were all at a local bakery in Ashbourne called, Ashbourne Gingerbread owned by a nice gentleman called Robin). It felt like a fairly good omen, to me.

The other job was a warehouse manager position, less than two miles from home. I wasn’t sure about going for the second interview,, as it was well-paid in comparison to my previous job, and I have massive imposter syndrome. I had a chat with Mrs Bob, explaining it was a serious role with a lot of responsibility, etc. But she told me I needed to believe in my abilities and she knew I could do it, and I really did love the sound of the job. I had done a similar job for many years before, I might add. However, some years ago I had a work-stress-related breakdown when supervising an R&D engineering team, caused by working ridiculous hours. I’d said from that point forward that mental health is more important than money and fast bikes.

So, I had a think about it and, as per usual I got out my favourite deck of tarot cards and pondered what to do, if I was offered either of the jobs or just one job. I thought that the warehouse job would be my dream job. It was a small family business that provide equipment to various NHS, private individuals, and charities involved in ophthalmic care. It had a five-minute commute, with a much better financial package than the bakery, and only a few people worked there which I prefer. If the worst came to the worst, I’d take the job in the bakery, and continue looking for something else.

The bakery offered me the job and as I’d heard nothing about the warehouse job, I went down for my first shift. I instantly really didn’t like it, but it’s money and you do what’s needed. At lunchtime, I got my phone out of my locker to call Mrs Bob – it’s like a dinner date via iPhone. To my surprise I had a missed call from a number I didn’t know, and dun dun duuuh… there was a voicemail!

I’m really not big on phone or video calls, in general. It’s mainly my social anxiety mixed with a splash of autism served in a tall frosty glass. I tentatively called my voicemail, it was the director from the warehouse job, offering me the position! I was speechless, which as you know is quite something – my friends don’t call me “Not so Silent Bob” for nothing. I rang Mrs Bob and she was so happy for me. She told me that I need to be happy in my work … that money is secondary no matter what. So I should just go with what made me happy.

I called the Director of the warehouse job back, and told him I’d accept the position starting the next day. I was worried about speaking to the bakery, but Mrs Bob helped me by texting me a form of words to help me. To my surprise, the bakery said they were sad to lose me but they understood my position. So, I got in the Bobmobile and had lunch at the local Abbey as Mrs Bob works from home doing some really complicated stuff. I went home to a massive hug from Mrs Bob, and sorted out my outfit for the next day, as the job requires smart casual office attire.

I started work the following morning under the supervision of the existing Warehouse Manager, who is looking to retire. He showed me to my office, which has a beautiful view of the river on one side, and the car park on the other. I worked alongside him for just over a week then at a weekly staff meeting it was announced he was going to reduce his work to three days a week, which gives me two days where I unlock the building and I was effectively left to do things my way.

I’ve now been at this job for three months and I have just had my probationary meeting with the Director. This meeting went very well and I passed my probationary period. So I guess I should have put spoiler alert!

I’m very settled and it’s such a nice atmosphere. I’m pretty much on my own, it’s an interesting job and a much more mature role than previous jobs I’ve had. I’ve just got to slowly get used to not having a 15-year veteran there as a safety net, although I’ve a very good feeling that I’m where I’m meant to be in life, as it’s meant Mrs Bob and I are in such a wonderful place right now. We’ve been given the gift of time, waking up naturally, although I always still have a late alarm on… my autistic side HAS to know there’s an alarm on…

It’s meant we get time to go to beach with a coffee, watch the sea, chat and listen to a podcast. Breakfast on the beach, and in summer it was swimming at the beach. There’s a recurring theme here other than spending quality time with the lovely Mrs Bob. We like the beach, it’s a very special and grounding place for both of us. It’s also meant date-nights at village pubs, playing Lego Star Wars, Harry Potter or LOTR (badly I might add). But most importantly for me, it’s meant time to turn off the TV, and catch up on each other’s week to the sound of ocean waves.

So there you are, my friends, that’s kinda where I’m at right now. Oh, apart from co-writing a book with the lovely author, Daisy Burton, entitled “Spells and Scribbles, A Poet’s Guide to Witchcraft”, which I’ve mentioned in previous blogs. So, thank you for listening to this old fool’s ramblings. Stay safe x

Sleeping Sack Spell

Work in progress. (C)BobChristianpoetry”

This will help you to fall asleep easier, and to also help you to stay asleep for the whole night.

Items required:
Small cloth bag (5cm sqd is my choice)
Lavender flowers, (we grow our own)
Black (witches) salt
Pestle & Mortar, or some way of grinding them up,
Incense. Ocean Scent for us, as it’s our happy place. If you like forests then maybe a pine fragrance.
White candle.

Light the candle and the incense.

Begin grinding the lavender while saying (x7)

Your journey to sweet dreams begins here,Drift off without worry or care.

Take some of the incense ash, and  a good measure of witch’s salt. Place them in with the ground lavender.

Waft or place the incense over the lavender, while visualising a place where you find peace. I’m partial to the beach or near some kind of running water. 

Grinding the lavender, ash and witch’s salt together, saying: 

May this keep you safe on your journey, till first waking light.” x7

Then pour the mixture into the bag, while visualising the place you find peace. Tie the bag shut and place it in the incense smoke. 

SMIB (x3)

This will help you to fall asleep easier, and to also help you to stay asleep for the whole night.

Items required:
Small cloth bag (5cm sqd is my choice)
Lavender flowers, (we grow our own)
Black (witches) salt – see notes
Pestle & Mortar, or some way of grinding them up,
Incense. Ocean Scent for us, as it’s our happy place. If you like forests then maybe a pine fragrance.
White candle.



Light the candle and the incense.

Begin grinding the lavender while saying (x7)

Your journey to sweet dreams begins here,Drift off without worry or care.

Take some of the incense ash, and  a good measure of witch’s salt. Place them in with the ground lavender.

Waft or place the incense over the lavender, while visualising a place where you find peace. I’m partial to the beach or near some kind of running water. 

Grinding the lavender, ash and witch’s salt together, saying: 

May this keep you safe on your journey, till first waking light.” x7

Then pour the mixture into the bag, while visualising the place you find peace. Tie the bag shut and place it in the incense smoke. 

SMIB (x3)

If you like this little spell, be sure to take a look at my latest book with the wonderful Daisy Burton. It’s available, in hardback, paperback and kindle versions.

Stay Safe X

Spells and Scribbles

Well folks, I’m very pleased to announce that the new book I was writing with local author & poet Daisy Burton that I’ve been going on about for ages is finally finished.

Some of you will remember Daisy, from her guest poetry in our joint anthology Scribblology V2. She’s also written two brilliant novels: Sensible & Barefoot. She’s joined forces with me again this time to lend her literary knowledge to an idea I’d had to mix my poetry and my beliefs into a factual book.

I’d like to take a moment to say a huge thank you to Daisy, for her hard work and dedication.

What started out as a small project, suddenly snowballed into a massive project comprising of Daisy and me spending many hours, long days and sometimes late nights, researching, writing, creating and plugging into our witchy sides. Then proofreading and checking formatting etc, designing the cover, writing our thanks and keeping at it until it was ready to be published. So without Daisy, I wouldn’t have been able to complete this labour of love we’ve created.

I’m so happy with the finished book, and hopefully some of you will enjoy it too, unfortunately there’s still some of my poetry in it! Daisy tells me off for saying that… You can check it out on Amazon (see link below) it’s only in paperback at present, but will shortly be in Kindle and hardback. Do remember to let us know what you think, if you do us the honour of buying it.

https://smile.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B0BB5WLCWS/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1661101019&sr=8-1

Stay Safe X

Harvest Time

Lammas Loaf courtesy of the wonderful Mrs Bob

Coming at the beginning of August, Lammas is all about the grain harvest, and derives from the old English for Loaf Mass. It’s also said to mark the death and subsequent resurrection of the sun god,Lugh, giving it the name Lughnasadh. (pronounced loo’nass’ah).

 

Why the lesson in old English words or Celtic beliefs? Well, there’s a simple explanation: it’s a big part of being a witch, as it’s one of our eight major holidays or sabbats. This one reminds us that the first harvest of grain should be brought in, ready for the winter months ahead.

I thought I would share my ramblings on this with you…

If you would like to carry out a little Lammas ritual, this is an easy little one that you could use. For this Lammas or Lughnasadh, if, like me you can’t bake bread (thank you Mrs Bob and your kitchen magic), you could buy a loaf or other bread product.

Light an orange candle and whichever scent of incense you are comfortable with. Take the loaf off the altar and break it into four pieces, placing one in each corner of your dwelling. As you do so, say the following:

“I call upon the spirits of

North, South East & West

Use your power & this blessing

To protect this home and hearth.

Or you can use any words that are meaningful to you, or that you’re comfortable with. It’s really not about store-bought words, or memorising phrases. It’s about you as an individual, creating magical poetry, with words and intentions.

Another example of a harvest-based ritual is as follows:-

Take a piece of paper, write down the things you’ve harvested so far this year, the things that you’re blessed with – it can be as small or as big as you like – a new book, a second chance, whatever you feel.

Now set light to the paper, place it in a cauldron or other heatproof container. As it burns, say…

“Mother Goddess, Father God,

The true harvest of this year

Is as intangible and indescribable

As the subtle colours of autumn.

I give you thanks for these many

Gifts and blessings I’ve received over the last year”

Magic doesn’t need to take up time with elaborate ceremonies, it comes from inside. Use that old, beaten up fork, and let your energies flow into what you do.

Brightest Blessings & Stay Safe X

(C)BobChristianpoetry & SaffronWhisperwood

Circus

By Bob W Christian

Ladies and gentlemen
Sit down, take your seats;
The show’s about to start.

Welcome one and all!
Witness the greatest
Show on Earth!

See contortionists
Bend not only the
Truth, but reality!

See limbo dancers
Hitting all-time lows,
Ducking all responsibility!

See spectacular feats of
Misdirection, like cards
Conjured when it suits.

See all this, and so much more.
The greatest show on earth?
Or just in your deluded mind…

(C) BobChristianpoetry

Rogues Gallery

By Bob W Christian

I am nothing at all like

The devilish monster

You’ve painted on a

Canvas full of lies.

One more work of art,

Hanging side by side

With countless others,

Lining darkened walls.

Every one a violent

Reminder of wicked

Deeds inflicted. Always

On, but never by you?

Until you face your own

Ghosts, exorcise your

Demons, you’ll carry on

Adding portraits to this,

A never-ending gallery.

A memorial to your desperation.

Depression. Separation

Anxiety. Inside your mind.

(C) BobChristianpoetry

Limelight

By Bob W Christian

Limelight

I wish I could go back to
When you didn’t even
Know my name. Now I’m
Trapped a nightmare.

Sleepless nights leave
Me constantly burnt out.
Thought I’d be happy, that
It’d cure my depression .

Watching my Illness in
Real time, I can’t lie.
Miss when time, felt
Like it was truly mine.

I’m sick of it all, you’re
Waiting for me to
Relapse, fall back
Into being the old me.

Made up your minds
Before even seeing
The way I am now, tired
Insecure, dying daily.

I miss when I didn’t
Have my therapist
On speed dial, scared
To explain how I feel.

Instead! I’ll reach for
A tablet, while you’re
Poking holes, instead
Of letting me float.

(C) BobChristianpoetry

Cowards

First off, I’d like to say that this is something that I would not normally write about under any other circumstances. However, I felt that I needed to speak out about this now. Trigger warning – this covers domestic abuse.

For some time now, I have been receiving anonymous messages from an individual or individuals who have taken to hiding behind the anonymity that the Internet provides them. They have made various wrong and hurtful accusations, and whilst this has been quite stressful, I have managed to mostly laugh them off because I know that they’re completely untrue and this is just vile people thinking they’re funny. Unfortunately, though, the accusations became more serious and those of domestic abuse were repeatedly levelled at me. While the other accusations were relatively easy to ignore, as I knew they weren’t true, the allegations of abuse hit me where it hurt.

This is because many years ago, an ex partner reported me to the Police for similar things. Thankfully, I was able to prove beyond any doubt that I was innocent. The charges were dropped and the woman was arrested for wasting police time. So imagine my horror when, many years later, the cowards hiding behind anonymity that were trying so hard to frighten me, started to level similar allegations of abuse, and said that they had given statements to the police with proof of my alleged crimes.

I’m not a perfect guy by any stretch of the imagination. I’ve never claimed to be anything other than a good guy who tries his hardest to help those he can. So the fact that I went through hell for over a year due to allegations like this, has brought it all back to me. This has caused me nightmares, anxiety and restarted my PTSD symptoms, because I know what happens… they arrest first, then you have to prove your innocence. So I’ve tried to keep it together. The big thing keeping me going was knowing that my friends, family and my GF all knew it was not true and would defend me. But mud sticks if you throw enough of it and these guys were slinging a lot.

What I want to say the person/persons who are doing this is… I’m sorry for whatever I’ve done to upset you so much that you feel so furious that you’ve tried to ruin my life. Yes, you’ve managed to get me angry and upset, but deep down I just pity you and your sad, pathetic excuse for a life. Why not be an adult and say it to me face to face or where you’re not hiding and I can reply to your accusations.

To those caught in the crossfire of these issues, I’m deeply sorry that any of you got caught in the blowback from this.

Stay safe x

Is speech really free?

BobChristianpoetry

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve come to the realisation that in this day and age of bloggers, YouTubers, influencers and all that jazz, that we live in an age where anyone, big or small, can have a voice, express opinions. etc. We really need to step back and think about what we’re doing more than ever. I mean, when I was in middle & high school I, alongside most of the kids, would either make fun of people or be the but of the bullying.

I, unfortunately, was the latter. My nicknames included Cheers Ears, Wingnut & mostly Pob because my ears stuck out. I’ve had plastic surgery to correct them, not for vanity but I couldn’t hear very well behind me. The only record of this and other things that were said is in the memories of those concerned. I doubt they’ll even remember it really. The point I’m making is that nowadays with Anti-Social media platforms being so popular that if it happened today, then someone could screen shot it, make it a meme … any number of things that once on the interwebs it’s difficult to remove them.

I myself have a responsibility in this respect, as I have a nice sized audience online. I would call on all of you to try to stop and think before you post something that could be misrepresented, misunderstood etc. You may think you’ve made yourself clear, you maybe angry at someone you don’t know on the net. Words can be taken a number of ways or your hurtful comment could be the final straw in someone’s struggle. I know we have free speech but let’s use it constructively.

I’ve been asked many times who I’m writing my scribbles about I’ve even had someone tell me to delete some because they (wrongly) thought it was about them. So I of all people should know that words have different meanings. Today however somebody took my words and went in a total two x two is six million tangent. It’s then that I realised after reading these hurtful words that maybe some people need to turn their tech off and reconnect with their humanity before it’s too late. It won’t deter me from interacting with all you lovely peeps, but it’s made me cautious

Stay Safe X

B W Christian