I’ve been working on some artwork to go with my Scribbles, it’s nothing special just me trying new ideas.
It’s pretty obvious what this piece might be about. I felt inspired to write about something that happened many years ago, but I won’t expand any further on the subject. I’m proud of this verse, which I wrote today. I hope you enjoy it.
Two Sides (Return To Sender)
I was punching above my weight.
Truth is, the fight was fixed.
One hand tied behind my back,
Referee turning a blind eye
While you repeatedly
delivered low blows.
I was reaching, while you settled.
Truth is, the relationship
Was sinking. I was clinging to
The wreckage of second best.
You reaching up to your ex
On his pedestal.
I had lots of relationship issues.
Truth is, you just hid yours better.
You packed them up neatly –
Emotional baggage by
Louis Vuitton. Same problems
You said …
I’d never find anyone like you.
Truth is, I’m glad that I didn’t.
(C) Bob W Christian 2020
Here is one of my latest scribbles. In the Christian household, we have never really done Valentine’s Day on the 14th. We choose to do it on the 12th instead.
This isn’t some anti- Hallmark protest sentiment – rather, it’s to mark the passing of a wonderful man, Mrs Bob’s beloved father. He left us only three months before I met Mrs Bob and we are both very sad that I never got to meet him. Mrs Bob likes to think that his energy might have somehow influenced our meeting …
Yesterday, I was sat at home listening to my music, while Mrs Bob watched something on TV that didn’t interest me. I started scribbling about her, and a few minutes later I had this (at the time untitled) piece.
I’d like to dedicate this one to my late father-in-law, and to my beloved Mrs Bob on the anniversary of her losing her adored dad. Love you xx
Stay Safe X
Let Me by Bob W Christian (c) 2020
I just want you to know
When you’re feeling down
I’m lifting you back up.
Let me show you what
You’ve never had – a sense
Of love and protection.
Let me show how love’s
Supposed to be; you’ll
Feel it as intensely as me.
Let me show you the true
Beauty I see with my eyes,
When you’re blinded by life.
Let me love you for all our
Lifetimes. Grow old while
Never ageing, for an eternity.
Bob W Christian #Ap
In the near future, I will be appearing in a podcast to discuss Autism, poetry, and all things Bob. I’m not sure if I can mention the podcast yet, but I thought it might be a good idea to ask you lovely people if there are any questions you’d like me to answer.
So if there’s anything you’d like to know about me, why not drop me an email to AspergersPoet@gmail.com or message me on FB, Twitter or Instagram.
Let’s have some fun with this and be creative.
Stay Safe X
Prosopagnosia, also called face blindness, is a cognitive disorder of face perception in which the ability to recognise familiar faces, including one’s own face (self-recognition), is impaired. Other aspects of visual processing, (such as object discrimination), and intellectual functioning, (such as decision-making), remain intact.
While the above is not a core symptom of autism, it’s a very common trait within those people diagnosed with ASD. The ability to ‘read’ the information about facial identity, expressed emotions, and intentions is crucial for non‑verbal social interaction, which is something I have a great deal of difficulty with. Even after spending years in the service industry to try and learn all these subtle little hints and tips, I still struggle to read and recognise faces.
For those of us who suffer with this neurological disorder, negotiating social situations can be very difficult. Prosopagnosia can make the sufferer blind to all but the most familiar faces. I find that I recognise regular customers by face after a while, but some customers who come in every once in a blue moon I don’t recognise or mistake them for someone else. This can lead to comments such as “don’t you remember me?” or “you asked me for ID last time”. On that note, I do have great difficulty in telling if someone is over 21 when ordering alcohol and I tend to err on the side of caution. This can cause some embarrassment, or laughter over perceived flattery. On one occasion, I was almost threatened with violence as the lady was so angry I’d dare to ask her for proof of age. She was apparently 26.
There might be coping mechanisms, like using alternative strategies to recognise people, such as remembering the way they walk, or their hairstyle, voice or clothing. I tend to find voices are a good one for me, as that tends not to change very much. There are a number of other issues that face blindness causes, such as: not being able to recognise certain facial expressions, judge a person’s gender, or follow a person’s gaze. Some people (in extreme cases) may not even recognise their own face in the mirror or in photos. Prosopagnosia can affect a person’s ability to recognise objects, such as places or cars. Many people also have difficulty navigating. This can involve an inability to process angles or distance, or problems remembering places and landmarks. Following the plot of films or television programmes can be almost impossible for someone with prosopagnosia because they struggle to recognise the characters. Someone with prosopagnosia may worry that they appear rude or not interested when they fail to recognise a person. But these types of strategies do not always work – for example, when a person with prosopagnosia meets someone in an unfamiliar location.
So as you can see, there are a lot of similarities between face blindness and ASD as they’re both neurological conditions although medically they’re completely different. So the next time someone like me struggles to recognise you, or asks your age, please spare a thought for them. They could have Prosopagnosia, or be on the autism spectrum.
Stay Safe X
Looks like you’re going to need your umbrella ella ella (sorry) because as you can see, it’s still raining on the this pity party parade.
Rainy Day Parade Vol 2
By Bob Christian
You need to stop crying ’bout
The game of life, ‘n’ how you’re
Losing at it – kinda shit at it.
“Dad used to hit me”? Please.
I had leather belts, fists, welts.
Told you last time. I wrote the
Book on abandonment issues,
Dearie. Want me to pass the
Tissues? Dry those crocodile
Tears? Fears of being lonely?
I’ve thrown you yet another
Rope. I hope you don’t claim
I tried to hang you with it.
Even your mother’s done
With your lies – huge fallacies.
Just STOP telling these horror
Stories. Your mask’s falling off;
It’s dropping, like your credibility.
The darkness you claim surrounds
You, is home to me. It’s where I was
Created, years ago. Yet you ignore
My hand, reaching out so many
Times, to pull you in. Back to
Safety. Maybe you just prefer
The cold and darkness?
Well that’s great. I got up this morning and my spine decides to get a mood on, leaving me in a lot of pain and discomfort and losing some sensation in my left leg. This normally wouldn’t bother me too much, as I’m used to it – it’s been an issue since I had a motorcycle accident in Nov ’03. I woke up the following day in hospital and since then it’s been a regular companion and problem in my life.
The issue is that I had a wedding to attend and a visit to see my daughter and my beautiful little granddaughter. I only get to see my granddaughter occasionally, although we do regularly video chat with her and my daughter. This wedding was a great chance to catch up on Mrs Bob’s family from up country. So you can imagine how fucked off I am to be laid up, whacked out of reality on some strong-ass prescription pain relief and muscle relaxants. I’m angry as hell because I’ve planned every little bit of the trip. Car serviced, once overed, then my body gives out on me. Folds faster than superman on laundry day, leaving me feeling like I’ve let down so many people. To my daughter, granddaughter, Mrs Bob & her family I’m very sorry.
Stay Safe X
While I had some downtime at Geek Towers this week, Mrs Bob suggested I try something new. No, no, nothing like that, you filthy lot! She suggested I try to start a Patreon page to share my latest scribbles and whatnot.
I must say, I was unsure about this new direction, but having had a look and done my research, it does seem like a new way forward for me as a brand. I’m still going to keep blogging, raising awareness and the roof, but the difference is I’ll be dropping some of the freshest, slickest verses I’ve ever written (according to others) each month, on my Patreon page.
So, if you’d like to see my new work, plus random behind the scenes, pictures & videos and a chance to get a mention on all my future book releases, then click the link below and help support an Aspie as I try to raise autism awareness…and hopefully have a few laughs too, who knows.
Love to you all.
Stay Safe X
This weekend, I came across some frightening and shocking statistics about suicide. 800,000 people a year take their own lives. That’s a life every 40 seconds.
This reminded me of a podcast I had done about suicide a while back. It is a very dark subject, but is, nevertheless, one that we really need to start discussing, rather than brushing it under the carpet and pretending it doesn’t happen.
The fact is that suicide is the most common cause of death for men aged between 20-49. This is all males, not just autistic males, but over 60% of newly-diagnosed autistic adults report contemplating taking their own life.
These figures are so awful. We are starting to talk about mental health in general, but more needs to be done to help people away from that awful end. To know that they are not alone.
It inspired me to put pen to paper. Although it might not directly help anyone, you never know. And it’s my way of sorting things out in my own head too.
So, ladies and gentlemen, I give you my latest scribble.
According to recent statistics, 800,000
People die a year at their own hand.
That’s a life lost every forty seconds…
Swallowed by a darkness they can’t escape.
A voice silenced, while screaming for help.
While constantly being told that mental health
Isn’t a polite topic of family conversation.
That little voice keeping you awake at night…
It’s insomnia driving you to that final sleep.
Trying to craft the right words to explain why.
Carefully planning a departure on your terms.
The ‘phone call your loved ones will receive
In the early hours. Life, like a clock, keeps
Counting down the lives, every forty seconds.
(C) Bob Christian 2020
Yesterday I did something that I’ve never done before or thought I would. I used my platform on social media. To publicly attack someone for a something that was said. I know I’m being vague but I’m not bringing it back up.
The original post on my timeline was deleted by them and I deleted the post across my social media presence. I have since apologised to that person on the phone away from all this circus and resolved the issue. Unfortunately during this aforementioned fuster cluck other people joined in saying things on this public forum about Mrs Bob that we’re completely untrue and very hurtful.
I would therefore like to ask that they follow my example and begin to the process of reconciliation by apologising for what was said in anger. I’m not saying it needs to be public far from it in fact. I’d rather this was a private thing.
All this aside yesterday taught me a valuable lesson. It’s all very well having a public image, voice and presence on the stage that is the interwebz. You just have to be mindful of the things you say or do as the world is watching and waiting for you to make a mistake. When you do it’s a very unforgiving place. There is a place and time for everything.
Stay Safe X