(Panic Disorder)

By Bob Christian.

Here we are again, my old companion.

You’ve given me so many nightmares;

Waking up sweating with dark and horrific 

Memories stuck on repeat in my head.

Try as I might, I can’t erase or forget them.

Aren’t I supposed to be a grown-up now?

Not scared to be home alone inside

My head. That’s when you’re at your worst.

Your images haunting me over the years.

We’ve grown up together, side-by-side.

Ive tried evicting you a few times. Yet

Here you are, throwing your friends

A pity party. I can’t remember the first

Time you attacked me. Your knife in my gut.

Icy fingers on my neck, stopping my scream.

Still you’re my oldest companion. I’ve tried

Staying awake, hoping you’d sleep before me.

Tried drowning you – you’ve learnt to swim.

Always awaiting your return now. I guess

With us it’s “‘Til death do us part”. 

(C) Bob Christian 2019