This is an open letter to someone who was a great friend to me. They gave me the confidence to pursue my sporting hobby, and coached me to the point that I was really starting to make progress in leaps and bounds.
Dear ***
First, thank you for the love, friendship and help you’ve given me over the years. You were like a younger brother to me; you never judged me for my eccentric behaviour, or my last minute cancellation of plans due to my autism getting the better of me. We shared some great banter and jokes on and offline. You were someone I felt I could almost be myself around, which is very rare, and this is the thing I miss the most about our relationship. I miss your lovely mum too.
I know that you’re upset with me because I wasn’t honest with you, both with things about me, and about certain events in my private life. I didn’t mean to cause you any upset. The first stems from not believing I’m good enough. The second… I realise now that I wasn’t in a good place mentally, and shouldn’t have continued down the path I was hell bent on traveling down at that time. I didn’t listen to anyone or even my own inner voice. I really regret the whole awful debacle and the pain I caused to many people. It was a stupid and damaging mistake.
I tried to message you once I came to my senses, to apologise for that, and for disrespecting so many things about my relationships at the time, including our friendship. However, I think you’ve either blocked me or just ignored it. That’s your prerogative and I respect that, but please know that I’m still hurting over the loss of your friendship.
I hope that in time you’ll be able to forgive, forget and move forward with our friendship again. Until then, thank you for the friendship we had and all you did for me. Please know that I’m always around if you ever want to grab a hammer and nails to rebuild this bridge… I wish you so much happiness in your future with your wonderful lady.
Today is a very special day… Mrs Bob & I literally tied the knot. Although we were legally married over nine years ago, we wanted to renew our vows and so we had a handfasting ceremony today. If you’re unfamiliar with the term then allow me to explain..
A handfasting is an ancient European ceremony of betrothal or wedding that dates back to pre-Medieval times and usually involves the tying or binding of the hands of the bride and groom with a cord or ribbon. Such ceremonies are widely practised in the pagan community.
I wrote a heartfelt scribble, which also turned out to be my vows to Mrs Bob. So to my wonderful wife, friend, co-author of my autobiography and soulmate, I give you “These Hands”.
These Hands
These hands holding yours, Will always show you love, Kindness, comfort, safety and Refuge from life’s many storms
I’ll use these hands to build Our future together as one, Holding you, caressing you… Only you, like no other has.
These hands will give you Strength when you’re weary, Motivation and support as You chase your dreams.
Until wrinkled by the ages, I will always be reaching Out to you, with silent comfort With just a single touch.
May we grow old together As do the stars. May we, like the sun, Light each other’s days
Until we rest at last In that eternal night, Together. Twin flames, Burning as one.
I’d like to take the time to wish you all a very Happy New Year, this year has been a tough one physically, emotionally & spiritually. After all that, comes a time to reflect on the last 12 months, but rather than dwell on those mistakes & failings, I want to use them as a valuable lesson, as I regroup and rebuild.
I’d like to thank my truly amazing wife, co-pilot, and co-author of my life, Mrs Bob. You have had faith in me every step of the way, even when I didn’t myself. You are a truly beautiful soul and my twin flame. Thank you for loving me so much, as we look forward to building a wonderful year together.
This is an open letter to my family, friends and to anyone who knew him. Those of you who know me personally, will know just how much I loved, adored and respected my late grandfather, Walter S Christian. He was, and still is, a role model and the benchmark of what a gentleman should be. He has had a huge hand in creating the man I am today. I’ve got lots of lovely memories of our time together, and just writing this makes me very emotional because…
The last time I saw him, was during a visit to see him in hospital on my way to Nottingham with a mate on our motorcycles, to spend another Saturday afternoon being Mallrats. I got my grandad a paper, and spent some quality time with him. When I left, he turned and said (unbeknownst to me) his final words to me. “You will come and see me again, won’t you son?” To which I replied “I promise.” Little did I know I’d never get to tell him how much I loved him. This is a burden that I’ve carried for a number of years. Fortunately when his wife, my grandma, passed away I was able to tell her.
As I said, I’ve lots of lovely memories of the man who’s the inspiration behind my whole brand. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind me using the family name for my brand of poetry, and creativity. As he was a very talented artist, I have a few of his works in my home. He used to spend time with me at the kitchen table, helping me to paint my latest Warhammer figure from Games Workshop. He spent a lot of time in the shed and greenhouse. I digress down Memory Lane… but although I have all these lovely memories of my grandad, I’d like to ask you – my family, friends and those reading this who knew Walter, to share any memories, or information – anything you might know about Walter S Christian with me.
Here’s a little something. I scribbled for my wonderful wife Mrs Bob, as an explanation of how I feel. I wish I could say these things to her instead of just scribbling them down. So in honour of my amazing wife, and what ultimately brought us together. I give you a little something called Quantum Entanglement….
It’s been a while since I’ve shared my ramblings on life, so I thought we could sit down, grab a coffee or whatever hot beverage you find socially appropriate, (sorry Mrs Bob – lol) and have a chat. Please do pull up a chair and join me …
I’ve just passed my probationary period at my new job, sorry, did I not tell you? My bad. So, in June I was looking to move jobs to be closer to home. Petrol prices at the time meant my job of nearly two years was becoming ridiculously cost prohibitive. So I had a couple of interviews – one at a bakery, with a commute of about 20 minutes each way, which was at least half of my regular commute time to Exeter, and a lot fewer miles. (Incidentally, my work experience, first Saturday & full time job were all at a local bakery in Ashbourne called, Ashbourne Gingerbread owned by a nice gentleman called Robin). It felt like a fairly good omen, to me.
The other job was a warehouse manager position, less than two miles from home. I wasn’t sure about going for the second interview,, as it was well-paid in comparison to my previous job, and I have massive imposter syndrome. I had a chat with Mrs Bob, explaining it was a serious role with a lot of responsibility, etc. But she told me I needed to believe in my abilities and she knew I could do it, and I really did love the sound of the job. I had done a similar job for many years before, I might add. However, some years ago I had a work-stress-related breakdown when supervising an R&D engineering team, caused by working ridiculous hours. I’d said from that point forward that mental health is more important than money and fast bikes.
So, I had a think about it and, as per usual I got out my favourite deck of tarot cards and pondered what to do, if I was offered either of the jobs or just one job. I thought that the warehouse job would be my dream job. It was a small family business that provide equipment to various NHS, private individuals, and charities involved in ophthalmic care. It had a five-minute commute, with a much better financial package than the bakery, and only a few people worked there which I prefer. If the worst came to the worst, I’d take the job in the bakery, and continue looking for something else.
The bakery offered me the job and as I’d heard nothing about the warehouse job, I went down for my first shift. I instantly really didn’t like it, but it’s money and you do what’s needed. At lunchtime, I got my phone out of my locker to call Mrs Bob – it’s like a dinner date via iPhone. To my surprise I had a missed call from a number I didn’t know, and dun dun duuuh… there was a voicemail!
I’m really not big on phone or video calls, in general. It’s mainly my social anxiety mixed with a splash of autism served in a tall frosty glass. I tentatively called my voicemail, it was the director from the warehouse job, offering me the position! I was speechless, which as you know is quite something – my friends don’t call me “Not so Silent Bob” for nothing. I rang Mrs Bob and she was so happy for me. She told me that I need to be happy in my work … that money is secondary no matter what. So I should just go with what made me happy.
I called the Director of the warehouse job back, and told him I’d accept the position starting the next day. I was worried about speaking to the bakery, but Mrs Bob helped me by texting me a form of words to help me. To my surprise, the bakery said they were sad to lose me but they understood my position. So, I got in the Bobmobile and had lunch at the local Abbey as Mrs Bob works from home doing some really complicated stuff. I went home to a massive hug from Mrs Bob, and sorted out my outfit for the next day, as the job requires smart casual office attire.
I started work the following morning under the supervision of the existing Warehouse Manager, who is looking to retire. He showed me to my office, which has a beautiful view of the river on one side, and the car park on the other. I worked alongside him for just over a week then at a weekly staff meeting it was announced he was going to reduce his work to three days a week, which gives me two days where I unlock the building and I was effectively left to do things my way.
I’ve now been at this job for three months and I have just had my probationary meeting with the Director. This meeting went very well and I passed my probationary period. So I guess I should have put spoiler alert!
I’m very settled and it’s such a nice atmosphere. I’m pretty much on my own, it’s an interesting job and a much more mature role than previous jobs I’ve had. I’ve just got to slowly get used to not having a 15-year veteran there as a safety net, although I’ve a very good feeling that I’m where I’m meant to be in life, as it’s meant Mrs Bob and I are in such a wonderful place right now. We’ve been given the gift of time, waking up naturally, although I always still have a late alarm on… my autistic side HAS to know there’s an alarm on…
It’s meant we get time to go to beach with a coffee, watch the sea, chat and listen to a podcast. Breakfast on the beach, and in summer it was swimming at the beach. There’s a recurring theme here other than spending quality time with the lovely Mrs Bob. We like the beach, it’s a very special and grounding place for both of us. It’s also meant date-nights at village pubs, playing Lego Star Wars, Harry Potter or LOTR (badly I might add). But most importantly for me, it’s meant time to turn off the TV, and catch up on each other’s week to the sound of ocean waves.
So there you are, my friends, that’s kinda where I’m at right now. Oh, apart from co-writing a book with the lovely author, Daisy Burton, entitled “Spells and Scribbles, A Poet’s Guide to Witchcraft”, which I’ve mentioned in previous blogs. So, thank you for listening to this old fool’s ramblings. Stay safe x
This will help you to fall asleep easier, and to also help you to stay asleep for the whole night.
Items required: Small cloth bag (5cm sqd is my choice) Lavender flowers, (we grow our own) Black (witches) salt Pestle & Mortar, or some way of grinding them up, Incense. Ocean Scent for us, as it’s our happy place. If you like forests then maybe a pine fragrance. White candle.
Light the candle and the incense.
Begin grinding the lavender while saying (x7)
“Your journey to sweet dreams begins here,Drift off without worry or care.”
Take some of the incense ash, and a good measure of witch’s salt. Place them in with the ground lavender.
Waft or place the incense over the lavender, while visualising a place where you find peace. I’m partial to the beach or near some kind of running water.
Grinding the lavender, ash and witch’s salt together, saying:
“May this keep you safe on your journey, till first waking light.” x7
Then pour the mixture into the bag, while visualising the place you find peace. Tie the bag shut and place it in the incense smoke.
SMIB (x3)
This will help you to fall asleep easier, and to also help you to stay asleep for the whole night.
Items required: Small cloth bag (5cm sqd is my choice) Lavender flowers, (we grow our own) Black (witches) salt – see notes Pestle & Mortar, or some way of grinding them up, Incense. Ocean Scent for us, as it’s our happy place. If you like forests then maybe a pine fragrance. White candle.
Light the candle and the incense.
Begin grinding the lavender while saying (x7)
“Your journey to sweet dreams begins here,Drift off without worry or care.”
Take some of the incense ash, and a good measure of witch’s salt. Place them in with the ground lavender.
Waft or place the incense over the lavender, while visualising a place where you find peace. I’m partial to the beach or near some kind of running water.
Grinding the lavender, ash and witch’s salt together, saying:
“May this keep you safe on your journey, till first waking light.” x7
Then pour the mixture into the bag, while visualising the place you find peace. Tie the bag shut and place it in the incense smoke.
SMIB (x3)
If you like this little spell, be sure to take a look at my latest book with the wonderful Daisy Burton. It’s available, in hardback, paperback and kindle versions.
Well folks, I’m very pleased to announce that the new book I was writing with local author & poet Daisy Burton that I’ve been going on about for ages is finally finished.
Some of you will remember Daisy, from her guest poetry in our joint anthology Scribblology V2. She’s also written two brilliant novels: Sensible & Barefoot. She’s joined forces with me again this time to lend her literary knowledge to an idea I’d had to mix my poetry and my beliefs into a factual book.
I’d like to take a moment to say a huge thank you to Daisy, for her hard work and dedication.
What started out as a small project, suddenly snowballed into a massive project comprising of Daisy and me spending many hours, long days and sometimes late nights, researching, writing, creating and plugging into our witchy sides. Then proofreading and checking formatting etc, designing the cover, writing our thanks and keeping at it until it was ready to be published. So without Daisy, I wouldn’t have been able to complete this labour of love we’ve created.
I’m so happy with the finished book, and hopefully some of you will enjoy it too, unfortunately there’s still some of my poetry in it! Daisy tells me off for saying that… You can check it out on Amazon (see link below) it’s only in paperback at present, but will shortly be in Kindle and hardback. Do remember to let us know what you think, if you do us the honour of buying it.
Coming at the beginning of August, Lammas is all about the grain harvest, and derives from the old English for Loaf Mass. It’s also said to mark the death and subsequent resurrection of the sun god,Lugh, giving it the name Lughnasadh. (pronounced loo’nass’ah).
Why the lesson in old English words or Celtic beliefs? Well, there’s a simple explanation: it’s a big part of being a witch, as it’s one of our eight major holidays or sabbats. This one reminds us that the first harvest of grain should be brought in, ready for the winter months ahead.
I thought I would share my ramblings on this with you…
If you would like to carry out a little Lammas ritual, this is an easy little one that you could use. For this Lammas or Lughnasadh, if, like me you can’t bake bread (thank you Mrs Bob and your kitchen magic), you could buy a loaf or other bread product.
Light an orange candle and whichever scent of incense you are comfortable with. Take the loaf off the altar and break it into four pieces, placing one in each corner of your dwelling. As you do so, say the following:
“I call upon the spirits of
North, South East & West
Use your power & this blessing
To protect this home and hearth.
Or you can use any words that are meaningful to you, or that you’re comfortable with. It’s really not about store-bought words, or memorising phrases. It’s about you as an individual, creating magical poetry, with words and intentions.
Another example of a harvest-based ritual is as follows:-
Take a piece of paper, write down the things you’ve harvested so far this year, the things that you’re blessed with – it can be as small or as big as you like – a new book, a second chance, whatever you feel.
Now set light to the paper, place it in a cauldron or other heatproof container. As it burns, say…
“Mother Goddess, Father God,
The true harvest of this year
Is as intangible and indescribable
As the subtle colours of autumn.
I give you thanks for these many
Gifts and blessings I’ve received over the last year”
Magic doesn’t need to take up time with elaborate ceremonies, it comes from inside. Use that old, beaten up fork, and let your energies flow into what you do.
The Ramblings of Bob Christian 