This is an open letter to someone who was a great friend to me. They gave me the confidence to pursue my sporting hobby, and coached me to the point that I was really starting to make progress in leaps and bounds.

Dear ***

First, thank you for the love, friendship and help you’ve given me over the years. You were like a younger brother to me; you never judged me for my eccentric behaviour, or my last minute cancellation of plans due to my autism getting the better of me. We shared some great banter and jokes on and offline. You were someone I felt I could almost be myself around, which is very rare, and this is the thing I miss the most about our relationship. I miss your lovely mum too.

I know that you’re upset with me because I wasn’t honest with you, both with things about me, and about certain events in my private life. I didn’t mean to cause you any upset. The first stems from not believing I’m good enough. The second… I realise now that I wasn’t in a good place mentally, and shouldn’t have continued down the path I was hell bent on traveling down at that time. I didn’t listen to anyone or even my own inner voice. I really regret the whole awful debacle and the pain I caused to many people. It was a stupid and damaging mistake.

I tried to message you once I came to my senses, to apologise for that, and for disrespecting so many things about my relationships at the time, including our friendship. However, I think you’ve either blocked me or just ignored it. That’s your prerogative and I respect that, but please know that I’m still hurting over the loss of your friendship.

I hope that in time you’ll be able to forgive, forget and move forward with our friendship again. Until then, thank you for the friendship we had and all you did for me. Please know that I’m always around if you ever want to grab a hammer and nails to rebuild this bridge… I wish you so much happiness in your future with your wonderful lady.

Stay Safe Brother x