The Children We Taught to Disappear

Somewhere in America,

History is clearing its throat,

And nobody wants to hear the cough.


Somewhere in America,

A little girl is folding herself

Into the smallest version of survival.

Learning that silence can weigh less than a scream.


She is hiding.


Not because children play hide and seek.

But because grown people play God.

Because hate sharpened its teeth,

Put on a flag,

And called itself patriotic.


She writes.


Not because she dreams of being famous.

But because it’s cheaper than a gravestone.

Because every sentence whispers:

“If I disappear, don’t let my words disappear too.”


And somewhere, right here,

We walk past brick walls;

Past headlines;

Past each other;

Thinking that monsters wear uniforms from history books.


But monsters evolve.


They trade boots for boardrooms.

Slurs for slogans.

Chains for algorithms.

And suddenly prejudice sounds… Polite.


Tell me… How many attics are we building today?

How many children are shrinking themselves

To fit inside cupboards… borders… classrooms…

Their own skins?


How many diaries are being written

Because speaking aloud

Still feels too dangerous?


This isn’t just about one girl.

It’s about every heartbeat

That’s forced to apologise for existing.


It’s about every page

That had to become a witness 

Because people refused to be one. 


So don’t tell me “That was back then”.

History doesn’t repeat because it forgets…

It repeats because we do. 


And somewhere in America,

There’s still a child 

Waiting for grown-ups 

To prove they are adults.


So read the diary. 

Please. 

Read the silence. 

Read the spaces between the words,

Where fear learned to breathe. 

Then close the book. 


Not to end the story, 

But to make damned sure

That we never hand another child a pen 

When all they needed was a world

That didn’t ask them to hide.

(C)BobChristian

Even my beard has a back story

People keep calling me a hipster. I laugh, obviously, every time.
Not because it is funny, but because it proves everything.
Because apparently, that is exactly what a hipster would do.

“No, no, no,” I tell them, “I just appreciate craftsmanship.”
You hear that? Not denial. Denial dressed in artisan packaging,
wrapped carefully – in brown paper, naturally.

I do not wear a pocket watch for quirkiness.
I wear it because I appreciate history, sincerely.
Actually, give me a second. I need to check something.
Yes, the time, like it’s still 1894 somewhere.

I did not grow this beard because it was fashionable.
I grew it ironically, which somehow feels much worse now.

Irony has an annoying habit of overstaying its welcome.
Leave it long enough, and irony becomes sincerity with lighting—
better lighting, usually, and much more expensive beard oil.

I own vinyl, not because it sounds better, necessarily.
I just enjoy paying forty quid for technical difficulties.
There is something beautiful about music arriving with problems:
a little crackle, a little hiss, a little emotional damage.

I drink caramel skinny lattes because coffee needs accessories.
If coffee tastes exactly like coffee, then what was accomplished?
Why pay six pounds for something that knows its own identity?

I wear charity shop T-shirts and call them vintage, confidently.
No, Dave from Torquay donated that in 2018, mate.

I wear a flat cap because my forehead needed branding.
I write poetry about societal issues because subtlety failed.
I bought a notebook because the paper felt creative.
That sentence alone should disqualify me from several conversations.

I collected crystals, insisting they were decorative, nothing more.
Then Mercury went retrograde, and suddenly quartz looked suspicious.

I have tattoos, and every one carries meaning,
because apparently I cannot get ink without writing commentary.
Even my mistakes need footnotes, context, and emotional symbolism.

Somewhere between prayer beads and thrift shops, I started wondering.
Between beard wax and obscure Scandinavian bands nobody knows.
Thirty-seven monthly listeners, and yes, I checked yesterday.
Do not worry. You’ve probably never heard them.

That is important, apparently, because obscurity is credibility.

And somewhere beneath all this carefully curated nonsense, I realised:
this was not a phase, an aesthetic, or rebellion.
This was a lifestyle subscription, and I somehow renewed it.

I spent years trying desperately not to become labelled.
I avoided stereotypes so carefully that I became one.


I accidentally became the human equivalent of a farmers’ market:
organic, locally sourced, and somehow charging extra for conversation.

The worst part is not the beard, vinyl, or crystals.
It is what happens whenever somebody says it.

“Mate, you are such a hipster.”

And I still answer, “No, I am not.”

Which is exactly, exactly what a hipster would say.

God. I am a hipster.

There. I said it, and somehow the room survived.

I suppose confession is healthy, especially in vintage denim.
Maybe I should accept it, like an overpriced emotional diagnosis.
Maybe this is simply who I am now.

A man wearing irony until irony started wearing me.
And honestly, that is probably the most fashionable tragedy available.

Still, before we finish, I have one final request.

Can we have this confession somewhere with exposed brick?
Maybe near a plant, a record player, and gluten-free sourdough.

I have standards, after all. 

We Did This In Eighteen Minutes

The Earth has been writing her story
for around four and a half billion years.

Mountains have risen,
oceans have learned the language of the moon,
forests have breathed in silence,
and life has patiently rehearsed
every possible way
to exist.

Then we arrived.

If all that time
were folded neatly
into a single year,

humanity
wouldn’t appear in January,
or July,
or even Christmas morning.

We would step onto the stage
with barely eighteen minutes
until midnight.

Eighteen minutes.

That’s all we’ve needed
to crown ourselves kings
of a kingdom
we didn’t build.

We point at our cities,
our satellites,
our machines that reach beyond the stars,
and call it progress.

Yet somehow,
the hands clever enough
to map distant galaxies
still struggle
to protect the soil
beneath their own feet.

We’ve spent fortunes
looking for another world
while treating this one
like somewhere we’re only passing through.

In those eighteen minutes,
entire voices
have fallen silent.

Species that survived
ice ages,
volcanoes,
asteroids,
have not survived us.

Every extinction
is another verse
removed from Earth’s oldest song.

And still,
the forests whisper.

The rivers remember.

The wind carries warnings
we keep mistaking
for background noise.

Hotter summers.

Stronger storms.

Longer droughts.

Skies that burn.

The planet isn’t seeking revenge.

She’s showing us
the consequence
of forgetting
that we belong to her,
not the other way around.

But this isn’t the end
unless we decide it is.

Because every generation
inherits a pen.

Some use it
to sign away tomorrow.

Others
write a different future.

Every tree planted.
Every river restored.
Every choice made
with something beyond ourselves in mind
becomes another sentence
in a story worth continuing.

Perhaps our eighteen minutes
will not be remembered
for how quickly we conquered,

but for the moment
we finally understood

that the greatest measure
of intelligence
was never how far
we could travel from Earth—

it was whether we learned
how to stay.

(c)BobChristian

I Keep Counting Anyway

Every morning
before the sun stretches itself across my window,
before my coffee tastes like anything but bitter,
happiness hides.

She’s crouched behind the blinds,
folded into the corner of yesterday’s pillow,
laughing quietly at me
as if I don’t know how to look for her.

I try.

I try like I know her favorite hiding spots,
like I know the exact way she breathes when she’s shy,
like I can coax her out with half-empty mugs
and songs that smell like home.

But she moves.

Slips under the fridge,
slides into the cracks of my bathroom tiles,
hides in the sound of my keys clattering
like she’s daring me to follow.

So I do.

I follow.

And sometimes,
just sometimes,
she peeks out
like a shy smile from a stranger in a crowded street.

For that moment,
my chest remembers what it’s like to be full,
and I swear
I hear the echo of her saying,

you found me again.

Then she disappears.

And I swear I’ll find her tomorrow.

Because happiness
isn’t something that knocks politely.

It is a professional hide-and-seek champion,
undefeated for as long as I’ve known her.

And me?

I am the kid counting with my eyes closed,
hands over my face,
promising the dark that I’m still playing.

Every morning,

before the day can tell me who I need to be,

I start searching.

(c)BobChristian

How to Build a Coffin Out of Silence

They keep saying “Man Up”

Like silence is some kind of sacrament.

Like swallowing your grief whole

Is how you earn your stripes.


But I’ve seen what that silence does.

I’ve seen it wrap around a neck,

Like a necktie turned noose.

I’ve seen boys hide their hearts, and call it manhood.


“Boys don’t cry.”

Nah.  They just punch walls.

Break their own knuckles.

Drink, hoping for a solution

Until it’s someone else’s problem.

Until it’s their funeral.


And we call that strength?


Eighty percent. That’s not a number.

That’s a mass grave. A choir of voices

That were only echoes. 

Just statistics.


Just “He was such a good guy.

He was always laughing…

Even after the desert stopped being a location

And started being an emotional state.”


We’re told to be tough,

But we’re never taught to be whole. 

Told to carry the weight,

Yet we’re never told how to put it down.


They call it manhood. I call it emotional malpractice.

And I’m done treating tenderness like a threat.

Done pretending that depression wears a hoodie.

And not a three-piece suit or a uniform.


Because mental health is not a solo act.

It’s a group text at 2am…

It’s “You good?”

It’s “Nah, but thanks for asking.”

It’s therapy without shame.

It’s community without competition.

It’s crying in the open, but not being called broken.


So yeah… Man down is not a defeat.

It’s a signal flare.

A Mayday call.

A prayer we are finally brave enough to say out loud.


And if you’ve made it this far; your heart is still beating

Under all that armour (real or remembered),

And this is your permission…

To rest. To rage. To reach.


This is your poem. This is your mirror.

This is your reason to stay.

Because feeling isn’t failing.

It’s fighting back.

AEOS 1-5

The lovely folks at AEOS are running a Bank Holiday discount over the long weekend, where you can grab 50% off the cover price of this brilliant literature & culture magazine. There are some great issues to choose from and, not to brag, but I’ve been fortunate enough to have a piece featured in each of them.

Issues 1-5 Aeos

It’s a buy-one-get-one-half-price deal — just add the promo code AEOSM at checkout.

https://aeos.bigcartel.com/

Grab a copy today and step into something different.

Fragments of Light & Unfamiliar Roads

What a strange and wonderful day it’s been.

First, I found out I’d received another accolade from the Dark Poets Club, which honestly means a great deal to me. Then, almost out of nowhere, I was offered the chance to be an official photographer for this year’s Torbay Pride event.

Photography is still very new territory for me. I’ve always just pointed the camera at things that caught my eye and hoped for the best, so stepping into something official feels both exciting and slightly overwhelming.

Still… growth rarely happens in comfort zones, does it?

Here’s to new experiences, learning curves, and seeing where the lens takes me next.

Stay safe,
BC

Op Ghostwalk

Hands in Both our Pockets

They point at the shoreline
like the country is drowning in rubber boats.
Like the reason your rent fills you with panic
is a man crossing the sea, with wet shoes
and a phone number stitched into his jacket.


Meanwhile, somewhere far from the food bank queue,
a billionaire laughs into a glass of champagne
on a yacht big enough to have its own postcode.


They tell us to fear the poor.
Never the people pricing us out of our own lives.
Never the landlords collecting houses
like football stickers.
Never the companies recording record profits
while your gran chooses between heating and eating
because both are luxuries now.

They don’t build anything.
They just keep your eyes busy… 
Feed you someone to blame;
Someone close enough to touch.
Someone poorer, louder, stranger than you.

And while you’re choking on anger;
While you’re tricked into mistaking hatred for power,
the real thieves slip their billions quietly past,
carrying our tomorrow out the back door.

(c)BobChristian