Most Storms Pass

What’s the best advice you’d give to someone younger than you?

The older I get, the more I realise that life isn’t about avoiding mistakes.

It’s about surviving them.

When we’re young, every setback feels enormous. Every wrong decision feels permanent. Every failure feels like the end of the world.

It isn’t.

Trust me.

You will make mistakes.

Some small.

Some spectacular.

Some that will keep you awake at three in the morning replaying conversations that happened years ago.

At the time, those mistakes will feel overwhelming. You’ll be tempted to react immediately, to panic, to assume everything is ruined.

But very rarely is anything as catastrophic as it first appears.

Pause.

Take a moment.

Evaluate the situation before reacting.

Ask yourself what can be learned from it.

Because that’s really all any of us can do.

Learn.

Adapt.

Move forward.

The same applies to relationships.

At some point, someone will break your heart.

At another point, if you’re honest with yourself, you may end up breaking someone else’s.

Neither experience is pleasant.

Both hurt.

And in those moments it can genuinely feel as though the world has ended.

It hasn’t.

The sun still rises.

Life keeps moving.

And eventually, so will you.

What feels unbearable today often becomes the lesson you’re grateful for tomorrow.

That doesn’t mean the pain isn’t real.

It is.

But pain has a strange habit of becoming wisdom if we allow ourselves to learn from it.

Looking back, many of the experiences I once wished had never happened turned out to be the very things that helped shape me into who I am today.

The failures taught resilience.

The heartbreak taught empathy.

The mistakes taught humility.

None of it was wasted.

So if I could offer one piece of advice, it would simply be this:

Don’t sweat the little stuff.

Life is going to throw enough challenges your way without you carrying the weight of every minor inconvenience as well.

Most things work themselves out.

Most storms pass.

Most worries never become reality.

As a Buddhist mantra reminds us:

Dhairyaṁ, kṣaṇa kṣaṇa, siddhiḥ.

Patience, moment by moment, brings accomplishment.

Sometimes growth doesn’t happen in giant leaps.

Sometimes it happens one difficult day at a time.

One lesson at a time.

One breath at a time.

Keep going.

You’ll get there.

Stay safe,

Bc

The Skill Nobody Realises They Have

If you could instantly master any skill, what would it be and why?

This is one of those questions that sounds simple until you really stop and think about it.

Most people would probably choose something impressive. Speaking every language on Earth. Playing the piano like a virtuoso. Flying a plane. You know, the sort of things that make people say, “Wow.”

Me?

I’d choose something that most people seem to arrive in the world already knowing how to do.

I’d instantly master social interaction.

Not public speaking. Not networking. Just the everyday ability to effortlessly understand social cues, body language, facial expressions, hidden meanings, and all those unwritten rules that neurotypical people seem to absorb without ever being given the instruction manual.

For many autistic people, myself included, social interaction can feel a bit like being handed a board game halfway through and discovering everyone else knows the rules except you. You spend years trying to work out why people say one thing but mean another, why “fine” rarely means fine, and why apparently there are seventeen different meanings to the phrase “we should catch up sometime.”

I’ve spent much of my life trying to crack that code. Sometimes successfully. Sometimes with all the grace and elegance of a Labrador trying to ice skate.

It would be nice to simply know.

To walk into a room and immediately understand the atmosphere. To spot when somebody wants a conversation to end. To recognise when somebody needs support without them having to spell it out in words the size of house bricks.

That would be a superpower worth having.

Although…

There is another skill that runs it very close.

Cooking.

More specifically, being able to cook and bake to the same standard as Mrs Bob.

Now before anyone starts, this isn’t about competition. I’ve seen Mrs Bob in action in the kitchen. Challenging her would be like turning up at Wimbledon because you’ve recently bought a tennis racket.

No, I’d simply like to be able to help more.

As we get older, it would be nice to occasionally wander into the kitchen and confidently announce, “I’ve got this, love.”

Not before producing something that either came from a freezer drawer or required pressing a button marked Start.

A proper meal.

The sort of meal where the smoke alarm remains completely uninvolved.

Or perhaps a birthday cake.

Not one that leans suspiciously to one side and looks as though it’s survived a natural disaster, but a genuinely lovely homemade cake. Something made entirely by me to show just how much I love and appreciate everything she does.

Because the truth is, social skills might make life easier.

But being able to put a smile on Mrs Bob’s face with something I’ve made myself?

That’s a pretty tempting choice too.

Stay safe,

BC

Father’s Day Isn’t About Biology, It’s About Showing Up

Today is Father’s Day here in the UK, and I’d like to use my little corner of the internet to give a huge shout-out to a man who is technically my stepfather.

Although, after nearly forty years of being there, I think we can safely dispense with the “step” part.

Because here’s the thing.

Anyone can create a life and become a dad.

But it takes a different kind of man to step into a child’s life and choose to stay. To take on the responsibility, the worry, the sacrifices, the school runs, the advice, the support, and all the other things that come with raising children who aren’t biologically your own.

That takes character.

It takes commitment.

And it takes love.

The older I get, the more I realise that fatherhood isn’t defined by DNA. It’s defined by presence. By consistency. By being the person who turns up, day after day, year after year, regardless of whether anyone notices or says thank you.

My stepfather did exactly that.

Not only did he help raise me, but he also became the only grandad my own children have ever known. He’s been there through the milestones, the celebrations, the challenges and the ordinary moments that, when you look back, turn out to be the ones that mattered most.

The truth is that parenting can often feel like a thankless job. You invest your time, energy and heart into other people and rarely stop to count the cost. Most of the time you simply get on with it because that’s what love does.

So today, I want to say thank you.

Thank you for sticking around.

Thank you for stepping up.

Thank you for treating me as your own.

And thank you for showing my children what a grandfather looks like.

Father’s Day should be about celebrating the men who choose to be present, whether they are fathers, stepfathers, grandfathers, foster parents or father figures. The title matters far less than the impact.

And finally, a quick nod to all the fur parents out there too. The dog walkers, the cat feeders, the sofa sharers and the treat dispensers. I see you.

Happy Father’s Day to all those who show up, stick around and make a difference.

Stay safe

Bc

Old Sci-Fi, New Memories

What’s a book, movie, or TV show that you wish you could experience again for the first time?


That’s actually an easy one for me because it’s both a book and a TV show, so it’s two birds with one stone.

Without a doubt, it would be The Red Dwarf Omnibus, which contains the novels Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers and Better Than Life.

These were fantastic books and, of course, they led to one of my all-time favourite TV series, Red Dwarf. If you’ve somehow never come across it, it’s the story of Dave Lister, the last human alive, travelling through space with a hologram, a creature that evolved from a cat, and a rather sarcastic computer. It sounds ridiculous when you describe it like that, but it worked brilliantly.

The books expanded on the universe in ways the TV show couldn’t and gave much more background to the characters. I remember being completely absorbed by them and wishing there was more when I’d finished.

The TV series itself brings back some great memories too.

When new episodes were being broadcast, I’d often head over to a friend’s house in the village on a Friday evening. We’d spend a few hours listening to music, chatting about whatever was important to teenagers at the time, and generally hanging out before settling down to watch the latest episode of Red Dwarf on the BBC. Afterwards I’d jump on my bike and cycle home, usually replaying the best bits of the episode in my head all the way back.

Those were good times.

As an interesting side note, many years later I actually got the chance to meet and interview two members of the Red Dwarf cast at a local Comic-Con event. It’s always nice when people connected with something you enjoyed growing up turn out to be as friendly and entertaining in person as you’d hoped.

Myself with Kryten (Robert Llewelyn)

Talking about revisiting old favourites, I did actually manage something similar recently.

When I was younger, I vaguely remembered a science-fiction series that I absolutely loved, but over the years the details became increasingly hazy. Partly that’s just age catching up with me, but a traumatic brain injury when I was 30 certainly didn’t help matters.

The series was called The Invaders and followed architect David Vincent, who accidentally discovers that aliens have infiltrated Earth and are quietly trying to take over the planet.

For a late-1960s television series, I remembered the effects being fantastic. The aliens looked completely human but had no heartbeat, didn’t bleed, and when killed would glow bright red before disappearing into nothingness. Conveniently for them, that made proving their existence rather difficult.

As luck would have it, Mrs Bob bought me the complete box set.

Invaders box set

I’ve recently finished watching the first series and have thoroughly enjoyed it. Yes, some of the action scenes are very much of their time. A quick judo chop to the neck sends the bad guy unconscious, much like classic Star Trek, and some of the fight choreography won’t trouble modern stunt coordinators. But that’s part of the charm.

What’s been fascinating is that I have virtually no memory of seeing it the first time around, so in many ways I really have been able to experience it almost as if it were new again.

And that’s probably why I’d choose Red Dwarf if I could wipe one story from my memory and enjoy it all over again for the first time.

Although having said that, rediscovering The Invaders has come pretty close.

Stay safe 

Bc

The Little Things Are the Big Things

What’s a common misconception people have about happiness?

One of the biggest misconceptions people have about happiness is that it arrives with success.

That somehow happiness is parked in the driveway beside the flashy car, hidden behind the front door of the big house, or tucked away in a bank balance that resembles the GDP of a small country.

The truth?

Most of the happiest moments in my life have cost absolutely nothing.

They’ve been the quiet evenings sat on the sofa until 2am with Mrs Bob, not doing anything particularly exciting, just enjoying each other’s company. They’ve been impromptu dances on the beach on a Sunday morning. They’ve been sunny afternoons sat in the shed with Tiddles, listening to the world go by.

No fireworks.

No fanfare.

Just moments.

The trouble is that we spend so much time chasing the next big thing that we forget to appreciate the small things already sitting right in front of us.

Happiness isn’t a destination. It isn’t something waiting for us once we’ve earned enough money, bought enough possessions, or impressed enough strangers.

It’s a state of mind.

A choice to notice the warmth of a cup of coffee, the laughter of someone you love, the comfort of a familiar companion, or the peace of a quiet afternoon.

Life is made up of little moments.

The secret is realising they were the important ones all along.

Stay safe,

Bc

Becoming the Photographer I Pretended to Be

What is one way you have grown this year?

If you’d asked me at the start of the year what I was, I’d probably have answered, “A poet cosplaying as a photographer.”

Photography has always been something I loved, but if I’m honest, I never really took myself seriously. I was happy enough wandering around with a camera, taking pictures of birds, nature, and whatever happened to catch my eye, while quietly convincing myself that “real photographers” were other people.

This year, I decided to change that.

Rather than treating photography as a hobby I occasionally dabbled in, I made a conscious decision to push myself outside of my comfort zone and see what would happen if I actually gave it a proper go.

As it turns out, sometimes the universe rewards you for taking a chance.

Earlier this year, I was offered a place on the photography team at a local event. It might not seem like a huge thing to some people, but for me it was a turning point. It was the moment I realised that perhaps I wasn’t just pretending after all.

Don’t get me wrong, imposter syndrome still likes to whisper in my ear from time to time. It tells me I’m not good enough, that I’m making it up as I go along, and that sooner or later someone will realise I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing.

The difference now is that I no longer believe it.

I’ve learned that growth isn’t about becoming fearless. It’s about taking the next step despite the fear. It’s about backing yourself, taking opportunities when they appear, and accepting that occasionally you’ll stumble along the way.

And if I do fall?

I’ll pick myself up, dust myself off, and try again.

So the biggest way I’ve grown this year is simple.

I’ve finally become the poet and photographer my business cards have been insisting I was all along.

Stay safe,

Bc

To My Younger Self

What is something you wish you could tell your 20-year-old self?

If I could tell my 20-year-old self one thing, it would be this: keep going. Life feels confusing, overwhelming, and at times completely impossible right now, but things do get better.

 The struggles you’re facing aren’t because you’re broken, weak, or failing. The truth is, it’s not schizophrenia or bipolar disorder at all — it’s autism, and understanding that will eventually make so much of your life make sense. 

So stick at it. One day you’ll look back and realise you survived far more than you ever thought you could.

Stay safe,

BC

Becoming the Men Who Built Me

There’s a strange thing that happens as you get older.

You spend most of your youth trying desperately to become your own person — carving out your own identity, your own voice, your own little corner of the world. 

You swear blind you’ll never become your parents, never pick up the odd habits of your grandparents, never start saying things like:

“Don’t leave that light on, it’s like Blackpool illuminations in here.”

And then one day…

You catch yourself doing exactly that.

For me, it happened in the shed.

Now, if you’ve read my ramblings before, you’ll know there’s always a shed somewhere in the story. Like some recurring side character that quietly steals the scene. But sheds aren’t really about wood and nails and rusty hinges, are they?

Not really.

They’re memory boxes.

Little sanctuaries built out of timber, silence, and inherited habits.

When I was younger, both my grandads had sheds — though, much like the men themselves, they were completely different worlds.

My maternal grandad, Walter was a  retired firefighter and gentleman of the old school variety, had a shed that smelled of compost, damp wood, and honest work. Plant pots stacked everywhere. Garden canes leaning in corners. Twine, tools, and jars full of screws that “might come in useful one day.”

There was always an old bit of carpet on the floor.


Always a greenhouse nearby.
Always tomatoes growing somewhere.

His shed wasn’t tidy by modern standards, but it made sense in the way only a working man’s shed can. Every object had a purpose. Every scratch and stain told a story.

And him?

He was happiest there.

Not because it was an escape from life —
but because it was life.

Quietly creating.
Quietly fixing.
Quietly tending.

Then there was my paternal grandfather Sydney — a former Rolls Royce engineer with the larger-than-life personality and a shed that felt more like a workshop for some eccentric inventor. Freezers, tools, cables, bits of machinery, shelves packed with things no child understood but instinctively believed were important.

He approached life like an engineer and a comedian trapped in the same body.

One minute he’d be discussing something technical enough to launch a rocket, and the next he’d be making ridiculous noises or blowing raspberries just to make us laugh.

And somehow, despite being worlds apart, both men found peace in exactly the same place.

A shed.
A chair.
Something to tinker with.
A bit of quiet.

Funny, that.

Now I’m older — older than I ever imagined myself becoming when I was young and invincible — I’ve realised I’m becoming a strange hybrid of both of them.

I’ll spend one afternoon carefully organising tools and muttering about “doing the job properly,” then the next I’m wandering around annoying Mrs Bob with terrible jokes and sound effects like a man who’s escaped supervised care.

I catch myself polishing shoes properly.
Taking pride in appearance.
Pottering in the garden.
Sitting in the shed just listening to the rain on the roof.

And honestly?

I don’t mind it one bit.

Because the older I get, the more I realise inheritance isn’t always money, property, or genetics.

Sometimes inheritance is smaller than that.

It’s habits.

Expressions.

Ways of sitting quietly with yourself.

The understanding that peace can sometimes be found with a mug of coffee in a shed while the world carries on without you for half an hour.

My own shed these days is a mixture of both men.

There’s the practical side — tools, chargers, bits of wood I refuse to throw away because they might become useful in approximately seventeen years time.

Then there’s the softer side.

A chair.
A rug.
A notebook.
A place to write scribbles that occasionally become poetry.

It’s not glamorous.
It’s not Pinterest-worthy.
And it certainly wouldn’t survive one of those minimalist home makeover shows.

But it’s mine.

And somewhere in its walls live echoes of both the men who helped shape me.

The firefighter with soil on his hands and kindness in his heart.

And the engineer with a sharp mind and an even sharper sense of humour.

Maybe becoming your grandparents isn’t something to fear after all.

Maybe, if you’re lucky, it’s something to be grateful for.

Because one day you realise the people you loved never really leave.

They remain in the small things.

In the way you make tea.
In the way you speak.
In the habits you never consciously chose.

Or in the way you smile quietly to yourself while sitting in a shed on a warm afternoon, completely at peace for the first time all week.

Stay safe

Bc

Someone Took a Chance

What notable things happened today?

Today is a bit of a milestone for me.

I’ve got my first ever photography job.

Well, I say job — I’m one of the official volunteer photographers for this year’s Pride event in Torbay.

It might not be a paid position, but it’s the first time someone has looked at my photography and thought, “Yes, let’s give him a chance.”

More importantly, it’s an opportunity to learn. I’ll get to experience what happens behind the scenes on a real assignment; taking the photographs, editing them, and delivering the finished images rather than just pretending to be a photographer in my spare time.

Everyone starts somewhere, and today feels like the first real step on that journey.

So, fingers crossed, wish me luck, and let’s see what happens.

Stay safe,

Bc

Autumn Whispers

What is your favorite season of year? Why?

If you asked me which season of the year I hold closest to my heart, my answer would come without a moment’s hesitation: autumn.

There is a magic in that turning of the Wheel. Summer’s relentless heat softens, mornings arrive shrouded in mist, and the world transforms into a living tapestry of gold, amber, and crimson. Nature seems to pause, taking a long, slow breath before the hush of winter descends.

I have always found comfort in the cooler air. The oppressive heat of summer gives way to crisp walks through the woods, to the scent of fallen leaves that carries a nostalgia that words can barely touch. Autumn asks us to slow down, to reflect, to reconnect with the rhythms of the natural world that too often pass unnoticed.

But my love for this season runs deeper than the beauty of its colors or the relief from heat. Autumn holds my favourite of the eight Sabbats: Samhain.

For many, Samhain is simply Halloween, a time for costumes and candy. Yet in the Pagan traditions, it holds far more weight. Samhain marks the close of the harvest and the onset of the darker half of the year. It is a transitional season, when the boundaries between worlds thin and the veil between the living and the dead grows fragile. It is a time for remembrance, for reflection, for honouring those who came before us.

There is profound comfort in this. In our modern world, conversations about death are often avoided, yet Samhain asks us to face it, to embrace it as part of life’s natural cycle. It reminds us that those who are no longer physically with us continue to shape our lives through their stories, their wisdom, their love.

Each year, as the nights lengthen and the leaves drift from the trees, I pause to remember my ancestors, family, and friends who have passed. I light candles. I share stories. I offer gratitude. In doing so, I feel tethered not just to those I have known, but to the countless generations who have honoured this season long before my time.

Autumn teaches that endings are not to be feared. The falling leaf is not only a symbol of death but also a promise of renewal. Nature sheds what is no longer needed so that fresh growth may emerge when the time is right. There is wisdom in that, a lesson I carry with me throughout the year.

Every season has its own song, but autumn speaks most clearly to my soul. It is a season of reflection, of gratitude, of transformation. A season of remembrance. A season of quiet mystery.

And as the veil thins and the year leans toward its close, I find myself once more beneath an autumn sky, listening to the whispers of the ancestors riding on the wind.

Stay safe,
Bc