What’s a time you ignored your gut — and paid for it?
Oh, that’s an interesting one.
And unfortunately, I have a rather personal answer.
Because there was a time, many years ago, when my gut was practically screaming at me to walk away.
And I didn’t listen.
Let me take you back a few years.
I was young. Naive, probably a little too trusting, and hadn’t really had what you could call a proper girlfriend.
I started going out with a girl who happened to be a cousin of my best mate.
Things started off well enough, although we had a long-distance relationship. That distance became considerably longer when I joined the Army and found myself stationed in the arse end of Scotland.
Romance and military life aren’t always the easiest combination, particularly when your idea of a romantic evening is a phone call when you can get one and a letter through the post.
But we made it work.
Or at least, I thought we did.
Then one day, I received a letter from her.
She explained that she’d been out clubbing, as she regularly did on one of her nights out, had got rather drunk and that a male friend had apparently taken advantage of her.
The first thing she remembered was waking up in his house the following morning.
Now, I want to be careful here. I’m not going to make light of anyone’s experience of sexual assault. It’s a serious subject, and anyone who has experienced it deserves to be listened to and supported.
But something about this particular story didn’t sit right with me.
My gut reaction was immediate.
Something wasn’t adding up.
I didn’t believe I was being told the whole truth, and every instinct I had was telling me to walk away.
And here’s the funny thing.
I knew it.
I genuinely knew something wasn’t right.
I’d love to tell you that I trusted my instincts, listened to that little voice in my head and made the sensible decision.
But I didn’t.
I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
I wanted to believe her. I wanted to believe that the relationship was worth saving and that perhaps I was simply being an inexperienced, suspicious young bloke who didn’t understand what had happened.
What I didn’t know at the time was that this particular bloke wasn’t just some random male friend.
He was an ex-fling.
And that was only the beginning.
Unfortunately, the relationship became increasingly rocky, with repeated infidelity and more than its fair share of lies.
On another occasion, she claimed that someone within our social circle had forced himself on her.
Again, this was a serious allegation.
But this time, something rather important happened.
When I and others suggested contacting the police, and I’d arranged for someone to speak to the bloke concerned, things began to unravel.
It transpired that there were sexual messages between the two of them on his phone.
Suddenly, the story looked rather different.
And here’s the part that really bothers me, even all these years later.
Those lies could potentially have cost someone their freedom.
Someone could have ended up in prison for something they hadn’t done, or worse.
Think about that for a moment.
A person’s life, reputation and future could have been destroyed because somebody chose to tell a lie.
That’s not relationship drama.
That’s potentially life-changing stuff.
Eventually, enough was enough.
I ended the relationship.
But by then, the damage had already been done.
And perhaps the biggest damage wasn’t even the relationship itself.
It was what happened afterwards.
You see, this wasn’t the only time I’d experienced infidelity. There were another couple of women who cheated on me over the years, and gradually, something changed.
I became suspicious.
I questioned people’s intentions.
I found myself looking for signs that something wasn’t quite right, even when there was no obvious reason to do so.
Trust became difficult.
Actually, that’s probably putting it mildly.
I struggled to trust people properly for a very long time.
And that’s the thing about being hurt by someone you trust.
The person who caused the damage might eventually disappear from your life, but the consequences can hang around for years.
You carry them into new friendships, new relationships and conversations with people who have done absolutely nothing to deserve your suspicion.
It’s not particularly fair on them.
But when you’ve been let down enough times, letting someone in again can feel like handing them the ammunition to hurt you.
It took meeting Mrs Bob before I really began to learn how to trust again.
And I don’t mean that she magically fixed everything.
That’s not how people work.
But she gave me something I’d struggled to find for a long time.
Consistency.
Honesty.
Security.
The ability to feel comfortable being myself without constantly wondering whether there was something going on behind my back.
And for that, I’ll always be grateful.
Looking back, I think there are two lessons I’ve taken from all of this.
The first is that your gut instinct is worth listening to.
It doesn’t mean it’s always right. Our instincts can be influenced by fear, past experiences and our own insecurities.
But when something doesn’t feel right, don’t automatically dismiss that feeling just because you want something to work.
Stop.
Look at what’s happening.
Ask questions.
Pay attention to whether someone’s words and actions actually match.
And don’t confuse giving someone the benefit of the doubt with ignoring every warning sign in front of you.
The second lesson is perhaps even more important.
Don’t allow the people who hurt you to dictate how you treat the people who come afterwards.
That’s something I’ve had to learn over the years.
Not everyone is the same.
Not everyone lies.
Not everyone cheats.
And not everyone is looking for an opportunity to hurt you.
It took me a long time to understand that.
So, what’s a time I ignored my gut and paid for it?
A young bloke, away in Scotland with the Army, received a letter that should probably have been the end of a relationship.
His instincts told him something wasn’t right.
He ignored them because he wanted to believe in someone.
And the consequences followed him for years.
Would I do things differently now?
Absolutely.
But then, that’s the thing about hindsight, isn’t it?
It’s wonderfully bloody accurate.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t arrive until after you’ve made the mistake.
These days, I’m rather happier with where life has taken me.
I’ve got Mrs Bob, a family, and a life built around people I love and trust.
I haven’t forgotten what happened.
But I’ve learned that I don’t have to let it define every relationship I have.
And perhaps that’s the biggest victory of all.
Sometimes the lesson isn’t simply to trust your gut.
It’s to make sure that the actions of one person don’t stop you trusting the right people when they eventually come along.
Stay safe,
BC










