Remember Remember

What’s a cultural tradition from your country that you love?

There are certain things from childhood that, for whatever reason, stay with you.

For me, one of those things has to be Bonfire Night.

The Fifth of November.

Cold November air.

The smell of woodsmoke.

Fireworks going off somewhere in the distance.

And, inevitably, some bloke standing far too close to the bonfire while somebody’s mum shouts:

“MOVE BACK!”

Of course, when you’re a kid, you don’t see a giant pile of burning wood as a potential health and safety incident waiting to happen.

You see an adventure.

You see something bloody enormous.

And probably wonder how close you can get before your eyebrows become an optional extra.

Then there was the Guy.

We’d make one from whatever old clothes we could find, stuffing them with newspaper, rags, or basically anything that was vaguely flammable and not currently being used.

It didn’t have to be particularly good.

Actually, thinking back, some of them were probably less “Guy Fawkes” and more “slightly suspicious bloke who’s been found in a hedge.”

But that didn’t matter.

We’d proudly put our creation on top of the bonfire and stand back, waiting for the flames to do their thing.

And then came the fireworks.

Now, modern fireworks are spectacular.

Absolutely bloody enormous.

But there was something magical about those childhood displays.

The first rocket disappearing into the darkness.

That moment of anticipation.

Then—

BOOM!

A shower of colour exploding across the sky.

Golden sparks.

Red.

Green.

Blue.

And for a few seconds, the whole night seemed to come alive.

Maybe they really were better back then.

Or maybe that’s just what childhood does.

It takes ordinary things and makes them enormous.

Then, of course, there was the food.

And I’m not talking about fancy street food, artisan burgers or anything else that somebody has decided needs to be served on a wooden board.

Give me a jacket potato cooked in the embers of a bonfire.

That was food.

You’d wait.

And wait.

And probably wait considerably longer than you had the patience for.

Eventually you’d pull it out, brush away the ash, unwrap the foil, split it open and add a ridiculous amount of butter.

Simple.

Cheap.

Perfect.

Funny how food seems to taste better when there’s a memory attached to it.

That potato wasn’t just a potato.

It was part of the evening.

Part of standing outside in the cold.

Part of waiting around with family and friends.

Part of being a kid.

And, if you were lucky, somebody had remembered the hot chocolate.

Happy days.

Now what’s my rambling got to do with cultural traditions..?

There’s actually a fascinating bit of history behind all of it

Bonfire Night commemorates 5 November 1605, when Guy Fawkes was discovered guarding barrels of gunpowder beneath the Houses of Parliament as part of what we now call, the Gunpowder Plot.

Although here’s something I didn’t know until relatively recently. The person being burned on the bonfire wasn’t always Guy Fawkes.

Apparently, in the seventeenth century, the Pope was often the unfortunate chap being thrown onto the flames.

Which seems a little harsh.

Eventually, Guy Fawkes became the familiar figure associated with Bonfire Night. Mainly because Parliament met in January 1606 and passed the Thanksgiving Act. This made services and sermons commemorating the plot a regular annual feature each 5 November.

Except at St Peter’s School in York, where they never have never burnt an effigy as Guy Fawkes was a student there.

And I suppose that’s one of the interesting things about traditions.

They change.

They evolve.

They get passed down from one generation to another, with each generation adding its own little bit to the story.

Stay safe

Bc

I Finally Realised I Know Nothing

What’s a moment when you realized you were officially an adult?

That’s actually quite a difficult question.

You might expect the answer to be something obvious.

Getting your first proper job.

Paying your first bill.

Buying your first house.

Or perhaps that moment when you realise that nobody is going to come along and tell you what you’re supposed to be doing anymore.

For me, though, it was none of those things.

I think it was when I finally learned to let go.

And, perhaps more importantly, when I realised that I actually knew absolutely nothing.

Now, that might sound like a strange thing to associate with becoming an adult.

Surely adulthood is about knowing things?

Having the answers.

Being responsible.

Knowing what you’re doing.

Apparently not.

Because the older I get, the more I realise that I don’t have all the answers.

I probably never did.

I just got better at pretending I did.

When you’re younger, you tend to think adults have everything figured out. Your parents seem to know everything. Teachers know everything. People at work definitely know everything.

Then, one day, you become one of those adults.

And you suddenly realise we’re all just making it up as we go along.

Some of us are just better at looking confident while doing it.

For a long time, I thought I had to hold on to everything.

Old arguments.

Old mistakes.

People who had hurt me.

Things I’d done that I wished I could undo.

The idea that I could somehow control what other people thought, said or did.

And that’s exhausting.

Eventually, I realised that some things simply aren’t mine to carry.

You can’t change the past.

You can’t control other people.

You can’t make everyone understand you.

And sometimes you can’t even make yourself understand why you’ve done something until years later.

So you let go.

Not because it doesn’t matter.

Not because it didn’t hurt.

But because carrying it around forever isn’t going to change what happened.

That’s when I think I finally started growing up.

Not when I got older.

Not when I had responsibilities.

Not when I became a husband, a father or eventually a grandfather.

It was when I stopped believing that adulthood meant having all the answers.

Because perhaps real adulthood is recognising how little you actually know.

And being comfortable with that.

I’m still learning.

I’ll probably still be learning when I’m an old bloke complaining about the price of a pasty and wondering why everything needs an app.

But that’s okay.

Life isn’t a test where you eventually reach the final question and someone hands you a certificate saying:

Congratulations. You are now officially an adult.

There isn’t one.

There are just experiences.

Mistakes.

Lessons.

People who come into your life.

People who leave it.

Things you hold on to.

And things you eventually learn to let go.

And perhaps that’s the real trick.

Not knowing everything.

Just knowing that you don’t.

Stay safe

Bc

Charlie Mike

If you had a time machine and could send just one message to your past self, what would it say?

If I could send just one message back to the person I was, it would be this:

No matter how dark life becomes, you’re going to get through it.

There will be times when you genuinely believe the pain will never end. You’ll carry anger, fear, grief and questions you don’t yet have answers for. You’ll have moments when giving up seems easier than taking another step.

But keep going.

You don’t know it yet, but the hardest chapters of your life aren’t the end of your story. They’re the chapters that will teach you just how strong you are, and eventually, how to let go of the things that were never yours to carry forever.

You will find peace.

Not because life suddenly becomes perfect—it doesn’t. But because you’ll learn that peace isn’t about changing the past or controlling everything around you. It’s about accepting what you cannot change, letting go of what weighs you down, and choosing to keep moving forward.

So breathe.

Stay.

Keep going.

There is a life waiting for you that you cannot imagine from where you’re standing now.

And trust me…

“you’re going to be okay.

Stay safe

Bc

Congratulations You Made it

If your future self could send you one sentence, what do you hope it would say?

If my future self could send me one sentence, I think I’d want it to say:

“Congratulations, you made it through everything you once thought would break you, and somehow you became the person you were always meant to be.”

Not you became rich.

Not you became famous.

Not even you got everything you wanted.

Just…

You made it.

Because I think we spend far too much of our lives measuring success by destinations.

The job.

The house.

The money.

The achievements.

The things we can put on a CV and point at proudly.

But perhaps the greatest achievement is simply reaching the other side of the storms that once convinced us we wouldn’t.

Looking back and realising that the mistakes weren’t the end.

The heartbreak wasn’t the end.

The failures weren’t the end.

The days when getting out of bed felt like an achievement weren’t the end.

They were chapters.

Some difficult.

Some ridiculous.

Some I’d happily rip out of the book altogether.

But they were still chapters.

And if future me is reading this, I hope he smiles.

Not because life turned out perfectly.

But because it turned out to be worth it.

So yes, future me…

Congratulations.

You made it.

Now go and enjoy the next chapter.

Stay safe

Bc

A Fraction of a Second After Death

There’s a thought that’s been rattling around my head lately.

Dangerous thing, really.

Because once certain thoughts get in there, they don’t politely sit in the corner and wait their turn. They pace. They whisper. They pull up a chair at three in the morning while you’re trying to sleep and say:

“Go on then… explain this.”

And this one goes something like:

What if, when you die, you simply move a fraction of a second forward in time?

Not heaven.
Not hell.
Not ghosts floating around old pubs knocking glasses over for dramatic effect.

Just…

A tiny shift.

A cosmic blink.

A quantum sidestep.

And somehow—you’re still here.

Now before the scientists start throwing textbooks at me and the spiritualists start sharpening crystals into weapons, I’m not saying this is true.

I’m saying it’s interesting.

And sometimes interesting is enough.

Because the more you read about quantum physics, the stranger reality starts to feel anyway. Particles existing in multiple states. Matter behaving differently when observed. Entire theories suggesting reality itself is far less solid than we like pretending it is.

Which raises an uncomfortable possibility:

What if death isn’t the full stop we think it is?

What if consciousness—whatever that truly is—isn’t as fixed to this version of reality as we assume?

There’s a theory called quantum immortality. The basic idea being that from your own perspective, you never actually experience death. Reality simply continues along whatever thread allows consciousness to persist.

Mad idea, isn’t it?

But then again, so is the fact we’re tiny self-aware monkeys standing on a spinning rock, hurtling through infinite darkness while arguing online about pineapple on pizza.

Reality lost the right to demand seriousness a long time ago.

Still…

The idea lingers.

Because haven’t we all had moments that felt strange?

Those near misses.

That split second where things should have gone differently.

The car that almost hit you.
The illness you somehow survived.
The accident that by all logic should’ve ended badly.

And afterward there’s that odd feeling.

Not gratitude exactly.

More like disorientation.

As if some hidden part of you quietly whispers:

“That wasn’t supposed to happen.”

Maybe that’s just psychology.

Maybe the brain struggles to process proximity to death.

Or maybe—and here’s where it gets wonderfully weird—some version of you did die.

Just not this one.

Perhaps consciousness simply slid sideways into the nearest available moment where the story continued.

Not because you’re special.
Not because the universe has a grand plan.

But because existence itself might be stranger than language can hold.

And honestly?

I find that oddly comforting.

Not immortality itself.
That sounds exhausting.

Can you imagine eternity?

Eventually even your favourite songs would start feeling like hold music.

No, what comforts me is the possibility that reality isn’t as cold and mechanical as we sometimes fear. That there may still be mysteries beyond our measuring tools. That science, for all its brilliance, may only be scratching at the wallpaper of something far larger.

Because for all our cleverness, we still don’t truly understand consciousness.

We can describe neurons firing.
Chemical reactions.
Electrical impulses.

But the actual experience of being you?

That inner world?

That strange flicker behind the eyes?

We’re still fumbling around in the dark there.

And perhaps that’s where philosophy and physics awkwardly shake hands.

Both standing at the edge of existence saying:

“Well… this is getting a bit bloody strange.”

The older I get, the less certain I become about anything.

Ironically, that feels healthier than certainty ever did.

Maybe death is the end.

Maybe it’s a doorway.

Maybe it’s just silence.

Or maybe, just maybe…

You move a fraction of a second forward in time.

Enough to keep existing.

Enough to keep wondering.

Enough to still be here reading ridiculous blog posts like this one while the kettle boils in the background.

And if that’s true—

if consciousness does somehow continue—

I hope future-me eventually figures out where I left my glasses.

Stay safe,

Bc

The Hobbit I Never Expected to Become

Who is the fictional character you relate to the most?

There are quite a few fictional characters I’ve admired over the years.

Batman for his determination.

Samwise Gamgee for his loyalty.

Dave Lister from Red Dwarf because, despite the chaos around him, he somehow muddles through with humour intact.

But if I’m being asked which fictional character I actually relate to the most…

It has to be Bilbo Baggins.

Not because I dream of fighting dragons or stumbling across magical rings. In fact, given the choice, I’d much rather leave the dragon to someone considerably younger and fitter.

It’s because Bilbo never quite feels like he belongs in the adventure he’s been thrown into.

He’d rather be home.

Tea brewing.

Book in hand.

Knowing exactly where everything is.

That resonates with me more than I’d care to admit.

As an autistic man, I’ve often felt as though the world handed everyone else an instruction manual and that somehow mine got lost in the post. Social situations can be exhausting. Change isn’t always exciting. Crowds, noise and unpredictability can drain me long before anyone else notices there’s anything to be drained by. I’ve spent much of my life trying to understand rules that other people seem to absorb without even thinking about them.

And yet…

Like Bilbo, life has repeatedly nudged me out of my comfortable little hobbit hole.

Moving across the country.

Changing careers.

Standing in front of audiences.

Publishing poetry.

Talking openly about autism and mental health.

None of those things were part of some grand master plan. They simply became the next step along the path. Looking back, many of the moments that felt most uncomfortable at the time became the ones that shaped me the most.

What I also admire about Bilbo is that he isn’t driven by power.

He’s driven by curiosity.

Kindness.

Common sense.

He solves as many problems with compassion and wit as he does with courage.

Those are qualities I value far more than brute strength.

I also suspect we’d get on rather well over a meal.

Anyone capable of appreciating breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner and supper clearly has their priorities in order. In a world that insists on rushing everything, there’s something wonderfully comforting about someone who understands that conversations should never be hurried.

Perhaps that’s why Bilbo continues to endure as a character.

He reminds us that ordinary people are capable of extraordinary things without ever losing sight of who they are.

You don’t have to be fearless.

You don’t have to be the strongest person in the room.

Sometimes it’s enough simply to keep putting one foot in front of the other, even when every instinct is telling you to turn around and head home.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve realised that courage rarely looks like Hollywood tells us it should.

More often, it looks like showing up.

Being kind.

Admitting when you’re wrong.

Learning something new.

Writing another poem.

Helping another person.

Or simply choosing to keep going when life would give you every excuse not to.

Bilbo would probably say he was never really a hero.

I suspect that’s exactly why so many of us see one in him.

Stay safe,

BC

Ten Years of Words, Thoughts and a Journey I Never Expected

Well, it turns out it’s my website’s birthday.

Ten years ago, I sat down and started building something from scratch. At the time, it was simply a place to put my thoughts, feelings and experiences into words — a way of making sense of the world around me after being diagnosed as Autistic. (Looking back it makes sense)

I don’t think, even in my wildest dreams, I could have imagined where that small beginning would lead me.

Ten years later, this little corner of the internet has become so much more than a website. It has become a place for connection, understanding and shared experiences. It has allowed me to tell my story, to open conversations, and to hopefully help others feel a little less alone on their own journeys.

When I first started writing, I had no idea who would read my words or where they would take me. I certainly never imagined that so many people would come along for the ride, follow my journey and offer their support along the way.

For that, I am truly grateful.

To everyone who has read a blog post, shared a story, sent a message, offered encouragement or simply taken the time to understand — thank you. Your support has meant more than you probably realise. Every interaction has been a reminder that sharing our experiences can create connections that we never expected.

Of course, there is one person who deserves a very special thank you: Mrs Bob.

Behind the scenes, she has been my constant support throughout this entire journey. She has written, proofread, made phone calls, helped shape my thoughts and, most importantly, been my neurotypical whisperer when I’ve needed someone to help translate my way of seeing the world.

She has worked tirelessly alongside me, often without recognition, and I honestly couldn’t have reached this point without her.

Looking back over these ten years, I realise this website has been a record of growth, discovery and acceptance. It has captured moments of frustration, joy, learning and everything in between.

The journey hasn’t always been straightforward, but it has always been mine.

So, on this tenth birthday, I’m not just celebrating a website. I’m celebrating the conversations started, the friendships made, the lessons learned and the incredible community that has grown around it.

Thank you for being part of my journey.

Here’s to the next chapter.

Bob

Stay safe

Bc

Ps here’s that first post I put out…

https://bob-christian.com/2016/07/31/hello/

A Seat at Bilbo’s Table

If you could have dinner with any fictional character, who would it be?

I’d choose Bilbo Baggins.

Not because he’s the greatest hero in Middle-earth, but because I suspect dinner with Bilbo wouldn’t really be dinner at all. It would begin with breakfast, roll effortlessly into elevenses, pause for luncheon, continue with afternoon tea, become dinner somewhere around sunset, and conclude with supper long after everyone sensible had gone to bed.

And somehow, none of it would feel rushed.

There is something wonderfully appealing about people who understand that meals are about more than food. They’re about conversation, laughter, stories, and the gift of time shared with others. In a world that seems determined to make everything faster, Bilbo reminds us that some things are worth lingering over.

Of course, the stories would be extraordinary.

Not because Bilbo set out to become a hero.Quite the opposite. He was happiest in his comfortable hobbit hole with a full pantry and an empty diary. Yet when adventure came knocking—rather persistently, if I remember correctly—he chose to answer.

That’s one of the reasons I’ve always liked Bilbo. He wasn’t fearless. He wasn’t looking for glory. He simply discovered that courage isn’t the absence of comfort; it’s the willingness to leave comfort behind when something greater calls.

I imagine the stories would become less about dragons, dwarves, and treasure, and more about the people he met, the mistakes he made, the friendships he formed, and how unexpected journeys have a habit of changing us in ways we never anticipated.

Gandalf would undoubtedly make fascinating company, but I suspect I’d spend the whole evening trying to keep up with him. Bilbo, on the other hand, would probably refill my plate, pour another cup of tea, and quietly remind me that the most memorable evenings aren’t always the most dramatic.

Sometimes they’re simply spent around a table with good food, honest conversation, and someone who has learned that the greatest adventures often begin with an unexpected invitation.

I’d happily accept that invitation.

After all, there’s always time for one more cup of tea.

Stay safe

Bc

The Road Ahead Might Be Above Us

What’s a piece of technology you’re convinced will exist in 20 years?

I know a lot of people immediately think of flying cars, and I have to admit, they’ve been promised for what feels like forever.

Every generation seems convinced they’re only a few years away. Yet somehow we’re still sitting in traffic, wondering why the person three cars ahead hasn’t noticed the light changed.

But I do think we’ll get there.

Not necessarily with everyone owning a flying car, though. If history has taught us anything, it’s that new technology usually starts off eye-wateringly expensive before slowly becoming normal.

What I can genuinely imagine is something a little different.

Driverless flying taxis.

Imagine standing outside your house, opening an app, and instead of a car pulling up at the kerb, a quiet electric aircraft lands on a designated pad nearby. You climb in, tell it where you’re going, and it simply… goes.

No steering wheel.

No traffic jams.

No arguing over who forgot to indicate.

Just computers doing what computers generally do best—following instructions.

The engineering doesn’t actually seem that far-fetched anymore. We already have autonomous vehicles being tested, drones capable of carrying significant loads, and electric aircraft making impressive progress. Put those technologies together, refine them over a couple of decades, and suddenly yesterday’s science fiction starts looking remarkably practical.

Of course, knowing my luck, the first time I stepped into one it would decide to update its software halfway through the journey.

“Please remain calm while FlightOS installs 7,483 important security updates…”

Maybe I’d wait for version two.

Still, I think this is one of those ideas that will eventually become so ordinary our grandchildren will struggle to understand why we spent hours crawling along motorways every Friday afternoon.

Just as we smile at the idea of people once believing the internet would never catch on, they’ll probably smile at us for thinking flying taxis sounded impossible.

The future has a funny habit of arriving one small step at a time.

Stay safe,

Bc

If 1984 Had a Sequel, We’d Already Be Living in It

What’s a book you think deserves a sequel?

1984.

Not because George Orwell got it wrong.

Quite the opposite.

He got so much right that it’s almost unsettling to read today.

The genius of 1984 wasn’t really Big Brother. It wasn’t Room 101, the Thought Police, or even Winston Smith.

It was Orwell’s understanding that power doesn’t just control people.

It controls reality.

Back then, that meant burning books, rewriting newspapers, and dropping inconvenient facts into the Memory Hole.

Today?

I’m not convinced anyone would even bother.

Why erase history when you can simply personalise it?

Imagine an Orwell sequel set in the present day.

Every citizen has a different version of yesterday.

Not because the government rewrote it overnight, but because an algorithm quietly decided which version would keep you engaged.

Your neighbour remembers an event differently because their feed told a different story.

Your parents saw another version.

Your children never saw it at all.

History wouldn’t disappear.

It would fragment.

Truth would become localised.

Debatable.

Optional.

And that’s far more dangerous than censorship.

Because it’s difficult to fight lies when everyone is convinced they’re looking at the facts.

Big Brother would have changed too.

In Orwell’s world, oppression wore a face.

There were posters.

Slogans.

A dictator watching from every wall.

Today’s version wouldn’t need any of that.

Big Brother wouldn’t be a man.

It wouldn’t even be a government.

It would be a seamless partnership between corporations, artificial intelligence and state interests, quietly learning everything about us while insisting it’s all for our convenience.

No boots stamping on faces.

Just terms and conditions we never read.

No compulsory telescreens bolted to our walls.

We’d happily carry them ourselves.

We already do.

Tiny glowing rectangles that know where we are, what we’ve bought, who we talk to, how fast our heart beats, what keeps us awake at three in the morning, and which adverts are most likely to make us click “Buy Now.”

And we’d queue overnight to upgrade them.

The Thought Police wouldn’t arrest you for thinking the wrong thing.

They’d predict what you were likely to think before you knew yourself.

They’d know when you were lonely.

When you were angry.

When you were vulnerable.

Not to protect you.

To market to you.

To influence you.

To gently nudge your decisions until they felt like your own.

The cleverest form of control has never been force.

It’s persuasion disguised as freedom.

That’s what makes Orwell’s world feel less like fiction every year.

The scary part isn’t that 1984 might need a sequel.

It’s that, if Orwell were alive today, he might simply rename it…

2026.

Stay safe,

Bc