Learning Never Stops, The Joy of Curiosity

What’s the best online course you’ve ever taken?

I’m not sure I can pick just one course, because the thing that made the biggest impression on me wasn’t necessarily a particular subject.

It was the opportunity to learn in the first place.

Back in 2013, I discovered edX, an online learning platform founded by Harvard and MIT. The idea was simple but rather brilliant: give people around the world access to courses from some of the best universities, without the usual barriers to education.

And a lot of the learning was free.

Well, that was me hooked.

I enrolled in Ethical Reasoning and CS50, Harvard’s introduction to computer science.

Now, I’d love to tell you I sailed through both courses, displaying the sort of academic brilliance that would have had Harvard knocking on my door.

I didn’t.

I crashed out of CS50.

Computer science and I clearly needed a little more time to get acquainted!

But I passed Ethical Reasoning, which encouraged me to keep going. Next, I enrolled in Bioethics at Georgetown University, and I passed that one too.

Not bad for someone sitting at home, learning online from universities on the other side of the Atlantic.

What I loved most was the choice.

Different universities. Different subjects. Different ways of looking at the world.

And the opportunity to explore things I might never have studied otherwise.

Because here’s the thing.

Talent isn’t exclusive to people who can afford a university education.

There are people out there with brilliant minds, curious natures and an enormous appetite for knowledge who simply don’t have the money to follow the traditional educational route.

Platforms like edX opened up opportunities that might otherwise have been out of reach.

And I think that’s something worth celebrating.

I’ve always been keen to learn new things. Not necessarily because I want a certificate to hang on the wall, or another qualification to add to my CV.

Sometimes, I’m simply curious.

I want to understand something I didn’t understand yesterday. I want to challenge the way I think. I want to discover something that makes me stop for a moment and go, “Well, that’s bloody interesting!”

I think learning helps keep the mind hungry.

And I reckon that’s important, whatever your age, background or circumstances.

You don’t have to become an expert in everything. You don’t even have to finish every course you start. Believe me, I’m living proof of that!

Sometimes the value is in trying.

Sometimes it’s in discovering what you enjoy.

And sometimes it’s in realising that a subject isn’t for you, which is useful knowledge in itself.

So, what’s the best online course I’ve ever taken?

Perhaps it was Ethical Reasoning. Perhaps it was Bioethics.

But if I’m honest, I think the best thing I got from the experience was discovering that learning didn’t have to stop just because I wasn’t sitting in a classroom.

There’s a whole world of knowledge out there, and some of it is only a few clicks away.

You just have to be curious enough to look.

And if you happen to crash out of a computer science course along the way?

Well, at least you gave it a go.

Stay safe,

BC

Put the Bloody Suitcase Down: Let Go, Find Peace, Live Free

What’s one thing you know now that would have saved your younger self a lot of pain?

If there’s one thing I wish I could sit my younger self down and explain, over a decent brew, it would be this:

You don’t have to carry everything.

Not every injustice needs to be revisited. Not every wrong needs to be replayed in your head a thousand times. And not every person who hurt you deserves to occupy so much space in your life long after they’ve gone.

I spent far too much time holding onto anger.

Replaying conversations.

Thinking about what I should have said.

Wondering why people did what they did.

And, of course, imagining all the wonderfully satisfying things I could say if I ever got the chance to have that conversation again.

Funny thing is, most of those conversations never happened.

But I still carried the anger.

And who was it hurting?

Me.

The people and situations I was angry about weren’t necessarily giving me a second thought. Yet there I was, dragging the past around like an overpacked suitcase I couldn’t bring myself to put down.

It took me a while to understand something rather important.

Letting go doesn’t mean what happened was acceptable.

It doesn’t mean forgiving everyone, forgetting the lessons, or pretending an injustice never happened.

It simply means refusing to let yesterday dictate how you live today.

There’s a little wisdom in Buddhism that I wish I’d understood much earlier. We suffer when we cling too tightly to things, including our anger, our expectations and our need for life to have been different.

The past has happened.

We can learn from it. We can grieve it. We can even be bloody furious about it for a while.

But we cannot change it.

At some point, we have to decide whether we want to keep carrying it.

These days, I try to look at anger a little differently. I acknowledge it, ask myself what it’s trying to tell me, and then try to let it go.

Some days, I manage that better than others. I’m human, after all.

But I’m learning that peace isn’t about winning every argument or getting the apology you deserved.

Sometimes peace is simply deciding that your happiness is worth more than your resentment.

So, to my younger self, if I could pass on just one piece of advice, it would be this:

Feel what you need to feel. Learn what you can. Stand up for yourself when you need to.

But when the time comes, put the bloody suitcase down.

You’ve got places to go, people to love, and a life to live.

Don’t waste it carrying yesterday into tomorrow.

Stay safe,

Bc

Strong Enough to Fight, Wise Enough not to

What does it mean to be a good person?

Ask ten people and you’ll probably get ten different answers. For me, it comes down to something rather simple: helping others, treating strangers with kindness, and trying to leave the world a little better than I found it.

Nothing revolutionary, is it? Although, given the state of the bloody world sometimes, you’d think kindness was a rare and endangered species.

But here’s the thing. Kindness isn’t weakness, and peace isn’t an inability to fight.

You can be compassionate without being a pushover. You can stand up for yourself and those you love without making aggression your default setting.

It’s why the idea of a demon hand and a Buddha heart resonates with me. Strength tempered by compassion. The ability to confront darkness without allowing it to dictate who you become.

I’ve been trained for war, but that doesn’t mean I want to spend my life fighting. Quite the opposite.

There’s a difference between being unable to hurt someone and having the capability to do so but choosing not to. One is a limitation. The other is restraint.

And restraint, in my opinion, takes a fair bit of strength.

We all have anger, pride and darker impulses. The question isn’t whether those feelings exist, but whether we allow them to control our actions. Just because somebody insults us doesn’t mean we have to respond. Just because we can win an argument doesn’t mean we should have it.

Sometimes, walking away is the strongest thing you can do. Not because you’re frightened, but because your peace of mind is worth more than having the last bloody word.

So, what makes someone a good person?

Not perfection. I’ve yet to meet anyone who has that particular trick figured out.

It’s about trying. Helping when you can. Admitting when you’re wrong. Apologising when you’ve hurt someone. Standing up for those who need it, setting boundaries when necessary, and having the courage to change your mind when life proves you wrong.

We can’t control how others behave, but we can take responsibility for how we respond.

For me, that’s the balance:

It’s known as Demon hand, Buddha heart. Strength without cruelty. Compassion without helplessness. Peace without pretending the world is always peaceful.

I don’t have to be harmless to be kind, weak to be gentle, or blind to the world’s darkness to choose not to add to it.

I can walk a path of peace while being prepared for war. But above all, I can choose to lead with my heart.

Will that change the world overnight? Probably not. I’m not that bloody optimistic.

But if we all made a little more effort to choose kindness over contempt, restraint over retaliation, and understanding over hatred, perhaps we’d make this place a little easier to live in.

Not perfect. Not without conflict.

Just a little kinder.

And honestly? I’d settle for that.

Stay safe,

BC

Howard Jones, a Paintbrush, and Mrs Bob’s Missing Selfie

Last Friday, I had the good fortune to photograph the legendary singer songwriter Howard Jones at a fundraiser at St Mary’s Church in my hometown. The event was in aid of The Jamming Station, a local organisation doing some wonderful work with youth music.

Howard was being painted live by the hugely talented Sherree Valentine-Daines, with the finished painting later going under the hammer alongside some other rather interesting lots, with Martin Roberts.

I had a lovely time, met some lovely people, and got some shots I’m really pleased with. I also managed to give the floor at St Mary’s a fairly thorough workout in the process. Sorry about that!

And, of course, I couldn’t resist a cheeky selfie with Howard Jones. Mrs Bob is a big fan, and as she couldn’t make it along, I thought I’d better return home with some photographic evidence. It’s the least I could do, really.

Stay safe Bc

Sherree Valantine-Daines
Howard Jones & S V-D
Half time
Howard Jones
Howard Jones
Martin Roberts
The finished portrait

Sunday Snaps

Hand fasting
Godafos falls
Midnight sun Iceland

This week’s Sunday snaps is dedicated to Mrs Bob, my travel companion on this journey. She’s been a rock for me this week, and I can’t thank her enough.

Thank you, love xxx

Bc

The Car Stopped, I didn’t.

The accident was three seconds long.

Three seconds.

That’s all it took
to turn a road
into a place my body still remembers.

People asked if I was hurt.

I said no.

Because I could walk.
Because nothing was broken.
Because the blood belonged to somebody else’s panic
and the bruises faded
like they had somewhere better to be.

But nobody asks the nervous system
what it thinks happened.

Nobody tells your hands
that they’re allowed to stop shaking.

Nobody explains to your heart
that the car is no longer spinning.

So now—

every sudden brake light
is a memory with headlights.

Every tyre screech
is a door opening
to the same three seconds.

I flinch at roundabouts.

I count cars.

I sit in the passenger seat
and press my foot into the floor
as if I can find a brake pedal
that isn’t there.

Sometimes I hear the crash
when the room is completely silent.

And that is the cruelest part.

The world looks at me
and sees someone who survived.

I look at the world
and see potential impact.

They told me I was lucky.

I know they meant it kindly.

But luck is a strange word
when your body survives
and your mind becomes the crime scene.

There are no stitches for this.

No plaster cast.

No X-ray that says,

Here.
This is where it hurts.

So I learned to carry an invisible injury
through visible places.

I laugh.

I go to work.

I answer questions.

I say I’m fine
because “I’m remembering the moment I almost died”
is not considered (or socially) appropriate small talk.

And sometimes I wonder
if healing is supposed to feel like forgetting.

I hope not.

Because I don’t want to forget.

I just want to remember
without fucking reliving it.

I want a red light
to become just a red light again.

I want the sound of tyres
to belong to the road
instead of my nightmares.

I want my body
to understand what my mind keeps refusing to believe:

The crash is over.

The car stopped.

I survived.

And this time,

when I close my eyes,

I want the darkness
to be nothing more
than darkness.

(c)BobChristian

The Accidental Photographer Strikes Again

I think this last week has probably been the pinnacle of my 2026 journey.

But before we get into that, let’s rewind a little.

At the start of the year I spotted an advert on Instagram looking for volunteer photographers for Torbay Pride.

Now, being me, I thought…

Why not?

So I threw my hat into the ring.

Somehow, they said yes.

And suddenly I found myself being one of the volunteer photographers for Torbay Pride.

My first proper photography gig.

And I bloody loved it.

Something had happened.

That little spark had caught light.

So when my hometown of Narnia announced its own Pride in July, I did what any sensible person would do.

I sent them a cheeky email asking if they needed a photographer.

Apparently, nobody had thought of that.

So, by a mixture of enthusiasm, timing and possibly nobody else putting their hand up, I became the official Pride photographer.

Which brings us to last week.

Totnes Pride.

Another fantastic day. Another camera full of photographs. Another reminder of just how much I love doing this.

And then came the inevitable bit.

The bit where I sat down afterwards and started looking through hundreds of photographs.

Yes, they were in focus.

Yes, they were clear.

But…

Did they have that something?

Probably not.

And when you combine that with a healthy dollop of imposter syndrome and failing to score in a poetry competition, it’s fair to say I was being a little hard on myself.

Then Friday happened.

One of the Pride volunteers contacted me.

She sent me a lovely photograph of me in action with my camera.

Then came the unexpected bit.

She was looking for a volunteer photographer to photograph 80s music legend Howard Jones while he had his portrait painted, followed by an auction raising money for a local youth music charity.

Would I be interested?

Well…

Yes.

Obviously.

I didn’t even need to think about it.

More experience.

More hours behind the camera.

A chance to build my portfolio.

And, quite frankly, an excuse to take photographs.

What’s not to like?

Then, as if the universe was trying to make its point, some of my astrophotography started producing some rather lovely results too.

And suddenly that slump didn’t seem quite so deep.

Perhaps I’d just forgotten something fairly obvious.

I’m still learning.

I’m still finding my eye.

Not every photograph is going to be the photograph.

And that’s okay.

You take the next one.

You learn.

You keep going.

Sometimes you just need to stop judging the last frame long enough to notice that you’re already holding the camera for the next one.

And maybe there’s something to be said for simply being there for that moment, rather than worrying too much about what comes afterwards.

Anyway…

The camera’s charged.

There are more photographs to take.

And apparently, I’ve got a portrait of Howard Jones to go and shoot.

So I’d better get on with it.

Stay safe,

BC

My One Wish Wouldn’t Be for Me

The genie grants you a wish. What is it?

It’s one of those questions that sounds wonderfully simple.

You rub the lamp. The genie appears.

Three seconds later, you’re suddenly faced with the biggest decision of your life.

And I’m guessing most people would go for something fairly obvious.

£100 million in the bank. A mansion. Fame.

Maybe becoming a bestselling author, a world-famous photographer, or whatever else happens to float your particular boat.

And don’t get me wrong, I’d quite happily take the £100 million, but there’s a problem. If I became a successful poet or photographer because some magical blue bloke handed it to me, I’m not sure I’d want it. I want to know that I earned it.

Every poem. Every photograph. Every little bit of progress.

The mistakes. The failures. The hours nobody sees.

That’s where the meaning comes from.

So if the genie stood in front of me today and said: “Bob, you get one wish. Anything you want.” My answer would probably surprise you.

I wouldn’t ask for money. I wouldn’t ask for fame. I wouldn’t even ask for anything for myself. I’d wish for one thing.

I would wish to eliminate child sexual abuse.

Completely. Everywhere. No exceptions. No child ever having to experience it. No teenager carrying a secret they’re terrified to tell anyone.

No adult waking up decades later and realising that something that happened in childhood has somehow followed them through and affected their entire life.

Because I know what it’s like.

I’m a survivor of child sexual abuse.

It happened more than forty years ago.

Forty.

Years.

And yet here I am, all these decades later, still thinking about it. Finally talking about it. Still understanding that something that lasted for a relatively small part of my childhood managed to leave fingerprints all over the man I became.

That’s the thing about abuse.

People sometimes imagine that when the abuse stops, the damage stops too.

It doesn’t necessarily work like that.

The perpetrator might walk away.

The child grows up. Life moves on. People get married. Have children. Build careers. Take photographs. Write books. Stand on beaches. Have therapy.

Laugh. Love… Live.

But sometimes, the past comes along for the ride. It sits quietly in the passenger seat. You might not notice it for years. Then something happens: A smell. A place. A memory.

A conversation.

A particular feeling.

And suddenly that little passenger taps you on the shoulder and reminds you that it’s still there.

That’s why my wish wouldn’t be about making me rich. It wouldn’t even be about erasing my own past. Because if I could magically remove what happened to me, I’d also remove part of the journey that made me who I am today.

And despite everything… I don’t want to erase myself, now.

I want to erase the reason children need to become survivors in the first place.

That’s the difference.

I don’t want a world where we become really good at helping people pick up the pieces.

I want a world where fewer people have pieces to pick up.

I want children to grow up knowing what safety feels like.

I want survivors to know that they will be believed when they find the strength to tell someone what happened, or is happening.

I want them to understand that their bodies belong to them.

That saying no means no.

That adults are supposed to protect children, not exploit them.

And perhaps most importantly…

I want survivors to know that what happened to them wasn’t their fault.

Not then. Not now. Never.

Because shame has a nasty habit of attaching itself to the wrong person: The child carries it. The teenager carries it. The adult carries it. Sometimes, to their grave.

Meanwhile, the person responsible may carry absolutely none of it.

That’s backwards. The shame belongs with the person who caused the harm, not the person who survived it.

So yes, if that genie ever does turn up, lamp in hand, waiting patiently for my answer… I know exactly what I’ll ask for… I’d simply look him in the eye and say:

“Make sure no child ever has to become a survivor of sexual abuse again.”

And if that sounds like an impossible wish… perhaps it is.

But I’ve spent enough of my life being told that some things are impossible. Sometimes impossible just means we haven’t tried hard enough yet.

So until that genie turns up, perhaps the rest of us have a part to play.

Listen. Believe. Protect. Educate.

Speak when silence would make things easier for the wrong person.

And when a survivor finally finds the courage to say those words:

“This happened to me.”

Don’t ask them why they didn’t tell someone sooner. Don’t brush it off with a throwaway comment. Don’t ask what they were wearing. Don’t ask what they did to cause it. Don’t ask why they didn’t fight or scream.

Just listen.

Believe them.

And do remind them of something they may have spent years struggling to believe themselves:

It wasn’t their fault.

Forty years later, I’m still here. Still writing. Still taking photographs. Still telling stories. Still trying to turn some of the darker parts of my life into something that might help somebody else. Perhaps that’s the closest thing I have to magic.Not changing the past, but using what happened to me to try to make somebody else’s future a little safer.

And if I only ever get one wish… That’s the one I’ll choose.

Every single time.

Stay safe,

BC

The Children We Taught to Disappear

Somewhere in America,

History is clearing its throat,

And nobody wants to hear the cough.


Somewhere in America,

A little girl is folding herself

Into the smallest version of survival.

Learning that silence can weigh less than a scream.


She is hiding.


Not because children play hide and seek.

But because grown people play God.

Because hate sharpened its teeth,

Put on a flag,

And called itself patriotic.


She writes.


Not because she dreams of being famous.

But because it’s cheaper than a gravestone.

Because every sentence whispers:

“If I disappear, don’t let my words disappear too.”


And somewhere, right here,

We walk past brick walls;

Past headlines;

Past each other;

Thinking that monsters wear uniforms from history books.


But monsters evolve.


They trade boots for boardrooms.

Slurs for slogans.

Chains for algorithms.

And suddenly prejudice sounds… Polite.


Tell me… How many attics are we building today?

How many children are shrinking themselves

To fit inside cupboards… borders… classrooms…

Their own skins?


How many diaries are being written

Because speaking aloud

Still feels too dangerous?


This isn’t just about one girl.

It’s about every heartbeat

That’s forced to apologise for existing.


It’s about every page

That had to become a witness 

Because people refused to be one. 


So don’t tell me “That was back then”.

History doesn’t repeat because it forgets…

It repeats because we do. 


And somewhere in America,

There’s still a child 

Waiting for grown-ups 

To prove they are adults.


So read the diary. 

Please. 

Read the silence. 

Read the spaces between the words,

Where fear learned to breathe. 

Then close the book. 


Not to end the story, 

But to make damned sure

That we never hand another child a pen 

When all they needed was a world

That didn’t ask them to hide.

(C)BobChristian

The One Who Let Me Grow

Which relationship has taught you the most about yourself?

Mrs Bob.

There really isn’t anyone else who comes close.

I suppose the obvious answer would be that she’s taught me about love.

And she has.

She’s taught me about patience.

Definitely that.

Although, to be fair, she’s probably had to teach me more about patience than most people would consider reasonable.

But the biggest thing Mrs Bob has taught me is actually about myself.

She’s allowed me to grow.

And, let’s be honest, she’s allowed me to mature into the person I am today.

I wasn’t a finished product when we met.

Far from it.

I was still figuring out who I was, what I wanted, and probably making far more mistakes than I’d care to admit.

Some of those mistakes were mine.

Some were lessons I simply hadn’t learned yet.

And some were things I didn’t even realise I needed to learn.

Mrs Bob never tried to turn me into somebody else.

She just gave me the space to become more myself.

And I think there’s a huge difference between those two things.

She’s the calm to my fire.

Where I can be passionate, impulsive, stubborn and occasionally a complete pain in the arse, she has this remarkable ability to bring me back down to earth.

Not by changing me.

Not by trying to silence me.

Just by being there.

Sometimes that’s all you need.

Someone who knows when to let you burn brightly…

And when to quietly remind you that perhaps setting fire to everything isn’t the best solution.

Over the years, she’s seen the versions of me that I’m proud of.

And the versions I’m not.

She’s seen the good days.

The bad days.

The days where I’ve been convinced I had everything figured out.

And the days where I quite clearly didn’t have a bloody clue.

And somehow, through all of that, she’s still here.

Still beside me.

Still encouraging me to grow.

Still putting up with me.

Which, frankly, deserves some sort of medal.

I often think we underestimate what it means to really know another person.

Not just knowing their favourite food or what makes them laugh.

But knowing their fears.

Their insecurities.

Their strengths.

Their weaknesses.

Knowing what they’re capable of, even when they don’t know themselves.

Mrs Bob has done that for me.

She’s helped me see parts of myself that I couldn’t see.

She’s encouraged me when I doubted myself.

She’s challenged me when I needed challenging.

And she’s given me the freedom to become the person I was supposed to be.

So, which relationship has taught me the most about myself?

That’s easy.

Mrs Bob.

Because I’m not the same man I was when we first met.

I’m calmer.

I’m more comfortable in my own skin.

I’ve learned that vulnerability isn’t weakness.

I’ve learned that asking for help doesn’t make you less of a man.

And I’ve learned that sometimes the person who helps you become yourself isn’t the person who tells you who to be.

It’s the person who stands beside you while you work it out.

I’m the person I am today because of a lot of people, a lot of experiences, a lot of mistakes and a ridiculous number of lessons.

But Mrs Bob?

She’s been there for the whole bloody journey.

And I wouldn’t want to have travelled it with anyone else.

I Ducking love you

Stay safe,

Bc