Mystery Solved

What a chaotic weekend it’s been at the Christian house.  It began late on Friday evening after what had been a very relaxing day off work. Dog had been in and out of the house all day as per usual and as the evening began to draw to a close there was a strange but all-too-familiar noise coming from the front porch. Dog’s little grey friend (see Trip Advisor) was crying outside and looked very hungry and somewhat cold (I’m aware that she has a fur coat, but still…) As it was nearly midnight, we took her inside and gave her some food, which didn’t even touch the sides. As a result, Mrs Bob who was by now very concerned at a small kitten being out at this time of night with no collar, had spoken to a local cat shelter about her and Dog. The shelter said they would get one of their staff to ring us Saturday morning with a view to visiting the house and seeing if Dog or his little grey friend were chipped (this would explain who owned them and where they lived). They also said that we needed to keep the pair of them safely inside at our house overnight and so the fun began….. We had to bring in the litter tray and place it in the downstairs toilet, shut them in one half of the house and wait for the shelter to call in the morning. This was the beginning of a sleepless night spent listening to the two cats racing around the house and fighting playfully until the small hours.  Then the pair of them decided that they wanted to curl up on our bed and try to sleep and occasionally play-fight.

In the morning, while we had been waiting for the shelter to call, Mrs Bob called round the local veterinary centres etc to enquire if anyone was missing a pair of adorable little kittens. It was getting on a bit by now (11.00am) and we were still waiting on the shelter to even call and arrange to come over and check the pair over, so we made a decision to ring our vets and have them scan them both for a chip. This would solve the mystery of who (if anyone) was responsible for them and where in the village they called home. We made the call and I helped Mrs Bob to put them in the car to take them down. As I waved them off and started talking to the builder working on the property next to ours, the lady from across the road pulled up and approached me and asked if I had seen her kittens. A black and a grey one? Yes she said. I explained that my wife was at the vets with them and that I  would ring her to return them. It turns out that she had been working away from home for a month and her lodger was supposed to be looking after them while she was away. I told her about how we came to be at this point in the cosmos, including how he even managed to get into the back of my car! She was very apologetic and then unraveled the mystery even more by letting me in on the universes ultimate secret, Dog’s real name is…….. Jamie and his friend the grey kitten is called Blue.

She has said they are welcome round ours if they want, provided we don’t mind, which of course we don’t – so it looks like there will be many more posts about Jamie’s (ridiculous name)…  sorry, scratch that, Dog’s crazy antics as a part of the wacky Christian household.

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Trip Adviser

It was a very busy night last night at work, and when I finally arrived home there was someone waiting outside the house, a really tiny little grey female kitten (half the size of Dog) I would hazard a guess and say maybe two or three months old. I found this somewhat worrying as it was gone half past ten at night and a kitten this small shouldn’t be out this late especially without a collar or any ID. The moment I went and opened the front door this little creature sprinted past me and into my house, it was during this commotion that Mrs Bob explained that while I was at work Dog had apparently returned home (well his second home) with the little scrawny grey kitten,who once the front door was opened had sprinted into the house and started to devour all of Dog’s food.

It would appear that my house is becoming something of a place to be within our little village for the local cats do they have some kind of feline version of trip advisor? Well we put the little one back out after feeding her as Dog was getting a bit rough with her and she went on her merry way. After eating we decided to retire upstairs and watch some recorded TV, Red Dwarf, Horizon Grand Designs etc only to be joined at half eleven by Dog who slept in between us until about eight am when he was awake and wanting some breakfast.

He spent the day with us until around eight pm then went outside. The little grey kitten did return briefly for a few cat biscuits on the porch before disappearing into the night. All in all it has been eventful few days and I think that I can safely say “I told you so” to Mrs Bob over this whole cat-astrophe and I think we may have a new cat also, but as I know with all of my feline house mates, they choose you not the other way round. So stay tuned for more adventures of Dog the cat and Bob the Aspie.

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Song of my People

I can’t believe what a wonderfully lazy day it was yesterday. It all started as usual with a nice relaxing cuddle with Mrs Bob before the routine of making tea, coffee etc begins. This morning was somewhat different as we were awoken earlier than usual by a strange (but comforting) noise emanating from downstairs followed by a scurrying noise on the stairs, suddenly out of nowhere appeared Dog (the cat) he sprung out of the darkness and crash landed on my semi-sleeping form. Dog then proceeded to clamber all over the pair of us and purr very loudly in our faces almost sounding like an old two-stroke engine (ask your dad).  This is the kind of alarm clock I could cope with extremely easily, except for the fact that there was no snooze button and we all know my thoughts on the snooze button. It was at this point that he decided to curl up and sleep in between the two of us and stopped purring almost as if he had stalled.

Eventually, when I got up as I normally do to make the mornings first hot beverage for Mrs Bob, and my first caffeine fix of the day, I had a furry friend suddenly wake up, launch himself off the bed and follow me downstairs. It was upon entering the kitchen that I realised why (obvious really) – his bowl was empty. It had been licked clean and shiny. Dog then began to sing the song of his people just to reiterate the visual clues and make sure there was no doubt as to the problem and what he thought an acceptable solution would be. Now for those of you who haven’t had the joy of a feline house guest, I shall explain.  (if you have then maybe skip ahead a bit and wait for the rest to catch up). Until the the empty bowl situation is sorted, two things will happen: one – every time you move anywhere, said cat will run between your legs almost causing you to trip and/or fall. Two – the vocal protest of “my bowl is empty what shall we do about it” will become louder and more incessant until the situation is rectified. This meant that everything had to be put on hold until Dog was happily tucking into his cat chow, which is one of the smells etc that I really can’t stand at all – wet cat food is a smell that has always upset me but it’s something my mother always used to just say was me being fussy and silly and to just get on with it.

Now that Dog was fed I could start my morning routines of hot drinks, breakfast etc while I had the free time. I should point out that having a kitten-sized cat is almost like having a small human child really, your sleep is disturbed by them waking you up, they have to come first (in their opinion) and above all they can be very needy and clingy. That having been said, the benefits really do outweigh the downsides and you will have a loving, faithful creature that will wake you up and demand feeding at all times of the day or night, for life. I was now up and dressed and beginning to catch up on some work emails etc and Dog decided he wanted to sleep now – but not on a cushion or empty chair, on me bless him, and every time I picked my Ipad up to work, he would push his head around it and meow at me as if to say “hey what are you doing? I wanna help” . This meant then a short fuss break for the furry little git, then we would try again. This continued for quite a while until Mrs Bob dug out her old (large) meditation cushion and plonked Dog on the thing, and in one swift move, the issue was solved.

With Dog now firmly planted on his own large cushion, I was free to work without any hinderance (or excuses) at all. This meant I got some stuff done but not everything… (well Rome wasn’t built in a day etc.  Actually it has taken 1,009,491 days to build Rome, based on the traditional founding of the city 21 April 753 BC. The rest I would have to sort upon my return from work that night.

When I left the house to walk to work the strangest thing happened. Apparently, as soon as I left the house, Dog ran to the front door and cried at it!  Seems I have made a new friend. This happend later on as well – he was home when I got back and came to greet me upon walking in the door. Then he went out when we went upstairs to watch TV, ending the day with him letting himself in at half eleven at night and curling up between us and sleeping until around four in the morning. Then then he went either downstairs or to his proper home (I’m assuming he has one), only to return this morning at half seven for a visit and cuddles before following me downstairs. I’m starting to notice a new addition to my morning routine now, but I’m not too stressed about it. I might as well enjoy it while it’s there.

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48 Little Hours

This weekend really has been a very tough and mixed bag of emotions for me. Let’s start at the very beginning shall we.

I had a day off on Friday and it was a really nice relaxing day off with my two favourite people in the world Mrs Bob and Dog (the cat) I love my days off at the moment, as it gives me a bit of time to relax and slow down so with that it mind I decided to drag Mrs Bob round to my local comic book store as they had a comic set aside for me apparently. When we arrived, my friend (yes I have friends) was working, so after the usual pleasantries, he began the hunt for what would turn out to be a non-existent item. This would be to my advantage, as my friend’s boss offered me a consolation for my time. It was a limited edition book plate from a signing event they’d had the other week that I had the pleasure of attending, featuring one of my all time favourite local artists/illustrators –  the world-renowned Jock. After all that nerding out, I decided that the wife deserved a coffee and some breakfast to make up for being dragged to a comic book store. We found a new diner and decided that this was as a good a spot for some breakfast as any. This as, it turned out, was not the best idea as the all-day breakfast was not really up to much and was quite overpriced but we learn from our mistakes I guess.  The establishment has now been added to the list of places we shall unfortunately for them be not be frequenting again. Upon our return home, we had a lovely time relaxing in front of the television catching up on some Netflix shows with cuddles from Dog (the cat) thrown in for good measure. The perfect end to a perfect day.

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Stranger Things

Some very strange things have been happening in the Christian household over the last few weeks. I say strange but maybe I should narrow it down a little further as there are lots of strange things that occur in this house usually as a result of the resident Aspie and some hair-brained scheme.

This time I’m strangely not responsible for the weird goings on within the house it’s down to Mrs Bob and a strange new furry little feline friend. It all began a short while after we lost our cat, both Mrs Bob and I were coming to terms with our loss when suddenly one day we had a furry little visitor come crashing into our house and equally our lives.

Our newly found friend is a tiny little black kitten that has not only runs into our house and cars (if the door is open) but also into our hearts, he has been a huge help in coping with the loss of our cat and helping to reduce the stockpile of cat chow we currently possess. He is a really entertaining creature we call dog because of his habit of playing fetch with a ball. He comes in when anyone opens the front door and we have set the cat flap to out only meaning he can go when he wants to.

The real issue is that now we have a little cat that is almost becoming a long term house guest,surprisingly  and equally strangely no one has noticed their tiny kitten (4 months)  old is never home, although they leave him out until nearly 10pm so I don’t mind him using the house to stay warm and comfy. It also helps Mrs Bob and keeps her company while I’m at work, so I guess it’s not a bad thing and everyone benifits from the situation.

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Great Expectations.

Sunday was a bit of an anticlimax if I’m completely honest with myself, Mrs Bob and I had got VIP tickets for a convention on the Sunday it was the last one of the year and to be honest I was really excited about going as I always am with most of these events, this is mainly because it covers my Aspergers narrow field of focus.

Mrs Bob on the other hand really just puts up with going as it’s not really her thing at all, she is not into it as I am but as an Aspie I need her to be with me to help me deal with the crowds, noise etc also to guide me through the social minefield that is called small talk, something that is so easy for most people but for someone like me it’s a nightmare, and not something I really understand that well and I appreciate all her help.

We arrived later than we expected to and even though the doors had been open for over an hour, it didn’t seem very busy at all, and i will be honest it was not what I was expecting, the event was a lot quieter than their last one, even by this late stage of the day there was no que or show vehicles outside, this one seemed more like an indoor market with a few famous guests signing pictures.

On the upside I did get some great pictures and to meet some really wonderful people, chat to some incredibly talented artists, looked around and picked up some great collectibles and art works, we also saw some brilliantly and creative cosplayers who’s talents and time spent working on them were evident in the final products.

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All Growed Up

I’ve had a very nice and relaxing few days off, Friday was a quiet day with very little needing to be done I spent the day with Mrs Bob doing some some errands, followed by a relaxing afternoon with some gaming and television. Starting with Netflix so we can try to watch some more season one of the brilliant Marvel TV series Luke Cage, this was followed up by HBO’s brand new show Westworld which is a television series reboot based on the movie. This was followed by a great session of online gaming as the president of ‘The Geeks’ MC (motorcycle club)  in my favourite fictional state Los Santos. Then it was time for my favourite way to end the day with a nice hot bubble bath, UV lighting, some candles and a nerdy podcast.

Saturday was spent doing very growed up stuff with Mrs Bob – this included things like wandering round the Saturday market looking at some locally made cheeses and other produce including a great stall that made and sold various gluten free products including a sticky bun that was to die for. We then went to a holistic wellbeing event which I must admit is not really my thing but Mrs Bob went to the last one and saw a very good medium, who despite our scientific and logic based scepticism had done a very good job and knew some very personal and private things. I had decided that I wanted to see the same person should the opportunity arise just out of a curiosity to see what she would have to say. Well let’s just say that what was said there was a lot that she couldn’t know and it left me feeling very relaxed, by this point it was time for a coffee in one of our great local coffee shops, this was a slightly bad idea as it was very very busy so Mrs Bob and I couldn’t really discuss the mornings events too well as I couldn’t hear myself scream due to the conversations etc going on in the small shop.

I’m now spending an evening with some great home cooked food and interesting conversation with Mrs Bob before we get an early night as we have a convention in the morning but that my friends is another story.

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The Critic’s Review

As most of you maybe aware I have been taking English lessons so as a dyslexic aspie I can improve my writing skills, it’s not really working that well but that’s another story. A couple of weeks ago, I made a huge decision – well I thought it was – and let my English lecturer read a proof copy of my book, Behind the Mask.

She returned the copy with the following review.

“Thank you so much for giving me the chance to read your work.

I was blown away by the power you have managed to contain within each piece.

When I came across a poem that I felt was my favourite, I wrote it down, but I ended up with quite a long list, and felt this no longer constituted the term “favourite”!

Within your work there is a progression that demonstrates a development of maturity and a honing of your skills.

The themes of darkness and light, monster and clown, to hide or to be hidden, and the overriding power of love shines through the work.

I hope you are proud of your achievement, I know I would be if it were mine.”

I actually couldn’t read the review myself at first, choosing to get Mrs Bob to read it. I may say that I’m not bothered by what people think of my scribbles (or poetry  as some call it) but when you have spent 10 years trying to get to this point, It’s nice to know that someone thinks you’ve done ok.

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Where’s my Weekend?

It’s been a very hectic weekend, so much for the season slowing down!  It began on Friday which was my day off, I had a relaxing start to the day with the usual coffee in bed on a slow, relaxing autumnal morning. Later on in the day, I had a drive out to Newton Abbot for an appointment with my tattoo artist for some more ink. I’m adding to a piece that I had done last year that was a special piece for Mrs Bob.  This was a nice relaxing couple of hours with some small talk about Kevin Smith movies. Then I had to drive all the way back home to Ashburton just in time for an event at my local comic book store. This was a meet and greet with a famous artist and illustrator on his home leg of a new book signing tour. He’s from a town just near us and is friends with the staff at the store, I have met him before on a few occasions and he’s a bit of an idol in my eyes. The strange thing is when I went to get his new book signed he recognised me and spoke to me like I was an old acquaintance.  He even remembered the last few times we had met as well. This made my day and I’m now the proud owner of a copy of his book with a personalised drawing.

Sunday was an early start as I had to go to my sports club for our first session at the winter venue, before work. This was nice as I’ve not been able to make it of late due to work commitments etc. This was a nice start to the day seeing a lot of familiar faces and some not so familiar. The thing I found strange was the absence of our VP (Vice President) who has gone onto further education and as such is only here for the holidays. He’s a great guy I’ve mentioned before that knows I’m Aspergers and really is cool about things. That was a change that made me feel somewhat sad, as I had not really said a proper farewell to him. I’m sure he will understand and I shall see him in December when he returns and we can grab a beer and catch up, until then it’s business as usual and back to the routine.

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Winter is Definitely Coming

It’s been a very quiet few days of late, work has begun to slow down, the days are becoming shorter, the weather is becoming much more autumnal and the nights, once spent sat outside enjoying the long hot summer nights with friends around the table, are now replaced with evenings hanging around the house. The sound of birds singing and glasses clinking have been replaced with sounds of laughter and the occasional crack of the logs on the wood burner filling the house.

This time of year is the favourite season of both Mrs Bob and me. Not only do we have our local beauty spots like Dartmoor National Park and many  beaches back to ourselves for another year, but while the tourists depart and return back to their hometowns, the roads become clearer and parking is less of a nightmare. On top of this, the weather is more to our taste. We both prefer the cold, and I’m rather partial to the occasional rainy afternoon sat watching the birds on the feeders from my comfy chair at the back of the house. There is just something so very relaxing watching around about 15 sparrows and various other birds. It’s like a soap-opera type story with all of the birds having different characters and personalities.

We have also now sorted the garden lawns, cut bushes, trimmed trees and all the garden furniture has been put away in the summer house. The rest has been covered over to protect it from whatever the impending winter can throw at it. We also have a hedgehog habitat this year with special food, so we can do our bit to help them over the winter season. So, as I sit writing this watching the rain and the latest episode in the feathered soap opera on my window, I’m reminded that many people long for the cold and the dark of winter to be over. Strangely, though, for my wife and me it’s a welcome and relaxing break for us to recharge our batteries before the madness of the season grasps us once again.

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