I stand here, 

My promise hanging in the air

Like a ghost. 

My words echoing in my mind 

“I’ll see you again, I promise.” 

But life has a way of rewriting our scripts, 

And I never got the chance to say 

Goodbye.

 

You were the man 

Who taught me the art of stories.

Who could weave magic with paint.

Your laughter a warm blanket 

On cold winter nights, and now…

There’s an empty chair at the table.

An absence that feels like a weight 

That I can’t shake.

 

I thought we had time.

I thought there would be more moments.

More days filled with your wisdom.

But time slipped through my fingers, 

Like sand; like your last breath 

I never got to witness.

And I’m left here, clinging to memories 

That feel too fragile to hold.

 

The hurt wraps around me, 

A heavy cloak of guilt, 

Because I promised you, 

And I wonder if you heard me?

If you knew I meant it.

If you felt my heart breaking from a distance.

If you smiled that knowing smile 

And whispered, “It’s okay.”

 

But what if it’s not okay? 

What if the weight of my absence 

Is something you carry, too? 

What if the silence between us 

Is filled with unspoken words?

With the “I love yous” 

That got lost in the shuffle of life?

 

I’m haunted by the doubt, 

The what-ifs that circle like vultures:

What if I had been there? 

What if I had made that call? 

What if I had held your hand 

Just one more time 

And whispered all the things 

That now hang heavy in my chest?

 

But deep down, 

I know you’d forgive me. 

You always did. 

You were a man of grace, 

A wellspring of understanding, 

And I can almost hear your voice, 

Soft and steady, saying, 

“Don’t carry that burden, let it go son.”

 

It’s hard to let it go, grandad.

It’s hard to release the guilt.

To accept that life is unpredictable;

That love doesn’t always come with guarantees.

But I carry you with me.

In every laugh, 

In every tear, and in every moment

I feel the weight of your absence.

 

I remember you, 

And I find comfort in the thought 

That you’re watching, 

That you’re still here, 

In the spaces between breaths, 

In the love I give,

In the stories I tell, 

In your name.

 

So I’ll carry you with me, 

Not as a weight, but as a reminder 

That promises might falter, 

But love endures.

That forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves, 

And that one day, when the time is right, 

I’ll see you again.

Not as a ghost, but as a part of everything I’ve become.

(c)BobChristian2020