Panic Disorder

“Panic Disorder”

By Bob W Christian

I’d like to say hello, old friend of mine.
You’ve given me so many nightmares,
Waking up sweating, dark and horrific
Memories stuck in my head on repeat.
Try as I might, can’t erase or forget them.

I’m supposed to be a grown-up now
Not scared to be home alone inside
My head; that’s when it’s the worst.
Your images haunting me over the years.
We’ve grown up together side by side.

Even tried evicting you a few times.
You’re back in, throwing your friends
A pity party. I can’t remember the first
Time, you attacked; that knife in my gut,
Fingers on my neck, stopping my scream.

Still, you’re my oldest companion. I’ve tried
Staying awake, hoping you’d sleep before
Me. Tried drowning – you’ve learnt to swim.
Waiting for your return … I guess then
With us, it’s ‘till death do us part.


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