It’s pretty obvious what this piece might be about. I felt inspired to write about something that happened many years ago, but I won’t expand any further on the subject. I’m proud of this verse, which I wrote today. I hope you enjoy it.

Two Sides (Return To Sender)

You said…

I was punching above my weight.

Like love is a boxing match
and you were the title belt
and I was the undercard
grateful just to bleed in the ring with you.

But the fight was fixed.

You kissed me like a contract
already signed in disappearing ink.
One hand tied behind my back,
the other still reaching for you
like maybe if I loved you harder
you would become softer.

The referee—
who looked suspiciously like you—
kept checking his watch
every time you hit below the belt.
And I kept apologizing
for bruises
you put on me.

You said
I was reaching
while you were settling.

Like I was stretching toward the sun
and you were generously offering
shade.

Truth is, the relationship
wasn’t a garden.
It was a ship already splitting at the spine.
I was clinging to driftwood labeled
“almost.”
“good enough.”
“maybe if I try harder.”

And you—
you were still reaching too.
Just not for me.

You kept your ex on a pedestal
like a participation trophy
you never planned to return.
Polishing him in your memory
while I was drowning in the present.

You said
I had a lot of relationship issues.

And yeah—
I have anxiety.
I overthink.
I triple-text apologies
for things I haven’t even done yet.

But you—
you vacuum-sealed your damage.
Folded it crisp.
Packed it in designer luggage.
Emotional baggage by Louis Vuitton.
Same weight.
Better lighting.

You called it “standards.”
I called it distance.

You said
I’d never find anyone like you.

And you said it
like a curse.

Like I should be afraid
of a future
that doesn’t include
waiting for someone
to choose me.

Here’s the truth—

I hope I never find anyone like you.

I hope I find someone
who doesn’t keep score
in a game I didn’t know we were playing.

Someone who doesn’t confuse
mystery
with withholding.

Someone who doesn’t make me feel
like loving them
is a privilege
I have to audition for.

You were right about one thing.

I was punching above my weight.

Because loving you
took more strength
than you ever had to use.

(C) Bob W Christian 2020