It’s pretty obvious what this piece might be about. I felt inspired to write about something that happened many years ago, but I won’t expand any further on the subject. I’m proud of this verse, which I wrote today. I hope you enjoy it.

Two Sides (Return To Sender)

You said…

I was punching above my weight.

Like love is a boxing match
and you were the title belt
and I was the undercard
grateful just to bleed in the ring with you.

But the fight was fixed.

You kissed me like a contract
already signed in disappearing ink.
One hand tied behind my back,
the other still reaching for you
like maybe if I loved you harder
you would become softer.

The referee—
who looked suspiciously like you—
kept checking his watch
every time you hit below the belt.
And I kept apologizing
for bruises
you put on me.

You said
I was reaching
while you were settling.

Like I was stretching toward the sun
and you were generously offering
shade.

Truth is, the relationship
wasn’t a garden.
It was a ship already splitting at the spine.
I was clinging to driftwood labeled
“almost.”
“good enough.”
“maybe if I try harder.”

And you—
you were still reaching too.
Just not for me.

You kept your ex on a pedestal
like a participation trophy
you never planned to return.
Polishing him in your memory
while I was drowning in the present.

You said
I had a lot of relationship issues.

And yeah—
I have anxiety.
I overthink.
I triple-text apologies
for things I haven’t even done yet.

But you—
you vacuum-sealed your damage.
Folded it crisp.
Packed it in designer luggage.
Emotional baggage by Louis Vuitton.
Same weight.
Better lighting.

You called it “standards.”
I called it distance.

You said
I’d never find anyone like you.

And you said it
like a curse.

Like I should be afraid
of a future
that doesn’t include
waiting for someone
to choose me.

Here’s the truth—

I hope I never find anyone like you.

I hope I find someone
who doesn’t keep score
in a game I didn’t know we were playing.

Someone who doesn’t confuse
mystery
with withholding.

Someone who doesn’t make me feel
like loving them
is a privilege
I have to audition for.

You were right about one thing.

I was punching above my weight.

Because loving you
took more strength
than you ever had to use.

(C) Bob W Christian 2020

Here is one of my latest scribbles. In the Christian household, we have never really done Valentine’s Day on the 14th. We choose to do it on the 12th instead.

This isn’t some anti- Hallmark protest sentiment – rather, it’s to mark the passing of a wonderful man, Mrs Bob’s beloved father. He left us only three months before I met Mrs Bob and we are both very sad that I never got to meet him. Mrs Bob likes to think that his energy might have somehow influenced our meeting …

Yesterday, I was sat at home listening to my music, while Mrs Bob watched something on TV that didn’t interest me. I started scribbling about her, and a few minutes later I had this (at the time untitled) piece.

I’d like to dedicate this one to my late father-in-law, and to my beloved Mrs Bob on the anniversary of her losing her adored dad. Love you xx

Stay Safe X

Let Me by Bob W Christian (c) 2020

I just want you to know
When you’re feeling down
I’m lifting you back up.

Let me show you what
You’ve never had – a sense
Of love and protection.

Let me show how love’s
Supposed to be; you’ll
Feel it as intensely as me.

Let me show you the true
Beauty I see with my eyes,
When you’re blinded by life.

Let me love you for all our
Lifetimes. Grow old while
Never ageing, for an eternity.

Bob W Christian #Ap