It’s been a while since I’ve shared my ramblings on life, so I thought we could sit down, grab a coffee or whatever hot beverage you find socially appropriate, (sorry Mrs Bob – lol) and have a chat. Please do pull up a chair and join me …

I’ve just passed my probationary period at my new job, sorry, did I not tell you? My bad. So, in June I was looking to move jobs to be closer to home. Petrol prices at the time meant my job of nearly two years was becoming ridiculously cost prohibitive. So I had a couple of interviews – one at a bakery, with a commute of about 20 minutes each way, which was at least half of my regular commute time to Exeter, and a lot fewer miles. (Incidentally, my work experience, first Saturday & full time job were all at a local bakery in Ashbourne called, Ashbourne Gingerbread owned by a nice gentleman called Robin). It felt like a fairly good omen, to me.

The other job was a warehouse manager position, less than two miles from home. I wasn’t sure about going for the second interview,, as it was well-paid in comparison to my previous job, and I have massive imposter syndrome. I had a chat with Mrs Bob, explaining it was a serious role with a lot of responsibility, etc. But she told me I needed to believe in my abilities and she knew I could do it, and I really did love the sound of the job. I had done a similar job for many years before, I might add. However, some years ago I had a work-stress-related breakdown when supervising an R&D engineering team, caused by working ridiculous hours. I’d said from that point forward that mental health is more important than money and fast bikes.

So, I had a think about it and, as per usual I got out my favourite deck of tarot cards and pondered what to do, if I was offered either of the jobs or just one job. I thought that the warehouse job would be my dream job. It was a small family business that provide equipment to various NHS, private individuals, and charities involved in ophthalmic care. It had a five-minute commute, with a much better financial package than the bakery, and only a few people worked there which I prefer. If the worst came to the worst, I’d take the job in the bakery, and continue looking for something else.

The bakery offered me the job and as I’d heard nothing about the warehouse job, I went down for my first shift. I instantly really didn’t like it, but it’s money and you do what’s needed. At lunchtime, I got my phone out of my locker to call Mrs Bob – it’s like a dinner date via iPhone. To my surprise I had a missed call from a number I didn’t know, and dun dun duuuh… there was a voicemail!

I’m really not big on phone or video calls, in general. It’s mainly my social anxiety mixed with a splash of autism served in a tall frosty glass. I tentatively called my voicemail, it was the director from the warehouse job, offering me the position! I was speechless, which as you know is quite something – my friends don’t call me “Not so Silent Bob” for nothing. I rang Mrs Bob and she was so happy for me. She told me that I need to be happy in my work … that money is secondary no matter what. So I should just go with what made me happy.

I called the Director of the warehouse job back, and told him I’d accept the position starting the next day. I was worried about speaking to the bakery, but Mrs Bob helped me by texting me a form of words to help me. To my surprise, the bakery said they were sad to lose me but they understood my position. So, I got in the Bobmobile and had lunch at the local Abbey as Mrs Bob works from home doing some really complicated stuff. I went home to a massive hug from Mrs Bob, and sorted out my outfit for the next day, as the job requires smart casual office attire.

I started work the following morning under the supervision of the existing Warehouse Manager, who is looking to retire. He showed me to my office, which has a beautiful view of the river on one side, and the car park on the other. I worked alongside him for just over a week then at a weekly staff meeting it was announced he was going to reduce his work to three days a week, which gives me two days where I unlock the building and I was effectively left to do things my way.

I’ve now been at this job for three months and I have just had my probationary meeting with the Director. This meeting went very well and I passed my probationary period. So I guess I should have put spoiler alert!

I’m very settled and it’s such a nice atmosphere. I’m pretty much on my own, it’s an interesting job and a much more mature role than previous jobs I’ve had. I’ve just got to slowly get used to not having a 15-year veteran there as a safety net, although I’ve a very good feeling that I’m where I’m meant to be in life, as it’s meant Mrs Bob and I are in such a wonderful place right now. We’ve been given the gift of time, waking up naturally, although I always still have a late alarm on… my autistic side HAS to know there’s an alarm on…

It’s meant we get time to go to beach with a coffee, watch the sea, chat and listen to a podcast. Breakfast on the beach, and in summer it was swimming at the beach. There’s a recurring theme here other than spending quality time with the lovely Mrs Bob. We like the beach, it’s a very special and grounding place for both of us. It’s also meant date-nights at village pubs, playing Lego Star Wars, Harry Potter or LOTR (badly I might add). But most importantly for me, it’s meant time to turn off the TV, and catch up on each other’s week to the sound of ocean waves.

So there you are, my friends, that’s kinda where I’m at right now. Oh, apart from co-writing a book with the lovely author, Daisy Burton, entitled “Spells and Scribbles, A Poet’s Guide to Witchcraft”, which I’ve mentioned in previous blogs. So, thank you for listening to this old fool’s ramblings. Stay safe x

This will help you to fall asleep easier, and to also help you to stay asleep for the whole night.

Items required:
Small cloth bag (5cm sqd is my choice)
Lavender flowers, (we grow our own)
Black (witches) salt
Pestle & Mortar, or some way of grinding them up,
Incense. Ocean Scent for us, as it’s our happy place. If you like forests then maybe a pine fragrance.
White candle.

Light the candle and the incense.

Begin grinding the lavender while saying (x7)

“Your journey to sweet dreams begins here,Drift off without worry or care.”

Take some of the incense ash, and  a good measure of witch’s salt. Place them in with the ground lavender.

Waft or place the incense over the lavender, while visualising a place where you find peace. I’m partial to the beach or near some kind of running water. 

Grinding the lavender, ash and witch’s salt together, saying: 

“May this keep you safe on your journey, till first waking light.” x7

Then pour the mixture into the bag, while visualising the place you find peace. Tie the bag shut and place it in the incense smoke. 

SMIB (x3)

This will help you to fall asleep easier, and to also help you to stay asleep for the whole night.

Items required:
Small cloth bag (5cm sqd is my choice)
Lavender flowers, (we grow our own)
Black (witches) salt – see notes
Pestle & Mortar, or some way of grinding them up,
Incense. Ocean Scent for us, as it’s our happy place. If you like forests then maybe a pine fragrance.
White candle.

Light the candle and the incense.

Begin grinding the lavender while saying (x7)

“Your journey to sweet dreams begins here,Drift off without worry or care.”

Take some of the incense ash, and  a good measure of witch’s salt. Place them in with the ground lavender.

Waft or place the incense over the lavender, while visualising a place where you find peace. I’m partial to the beach or near some kind of running water. 

Grinding the lavender, ash and witch’s salt together, saying: 

“May this keep you safe on your journey, till first waking light.” x7

Then pour the mixture into the bag, while visualising the place you find peace. Tie the bag shut and place it in the incense smoke. 

SMIB (x3)

If you like this little spell, be sure to take a look at my latest book with the wonderful Daisy Burton. It’s available, in hardback, paperback and kindle versions.

Stay Safe X

Well folks, I’m very pleased to announce that the new book I was writing with local author & poet Daisy Burton that I’ve been going on about for ages is finally finished.

Some of you will remember Daisy, from her guest poetry in our joint anthology Scribblology V2. She’s also written two brilliant novels: Sensible & Barefoot. She’s joined forces with me again this time to lend her literary knowledge to an idea I’d had to mix my poetry and my beliefs into a factual book.

I’d like to take a moment to say a huge thank you to Daisy, for her hard work and dedication.

What started out as a small project, suddenly snowballed into a massive project comprising of Daisy and me spending many hours, long days and sometimes late nights, researching, writing, creating and plugging into our witchy sides. Then proofreading and checking formatting etc, designing the cover, writing our thanks and keeping at it until it was ready to be published. So without Daisy, I wouldn’t have been able to complete this labour of love we’ve created.

I’m so happy with the finished book, and hopefully some of you will enjoy it too, unfortunately there’s still some of my poetry in it! Daisy tells me off for saying that… You can check it out on Amazon (see link below) it’s only in paperback at present, but will shortly be in Kindle and hardback. Do remember to let us know what you think, if you do us the honour of buying it.

https://smile.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B0BB5WLCWS/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1661101019&sr=8-1

Stay Safe X

Coming at the beginning of August, Lammas is all about the grain harvest, and derives from the old English for Loaf Mass. It’s also said to mark the death and subsequent resurrection of the sun god,Lugh, giving it the name Lughnasadh. (pronounced loo’nass’ah).

Why the lesson in old English words or Celtic beliefs? Well, there’s a simple explanation: it’s a big part of being a witch, as it’s one of our eight major holidays or sabbats. This one reminds us that the first harvest of grain should be brought in, ready for the winter months ahead.

I thought I would share my ramblings on this with you…

If you would like to carry out a little Lammas ritual, this is an easy little one that you could use. For this Lammas or Lughnasadh, if, like me you can’t bake bread (thank you Mrs Bob and your kitchen magic), you could buy a loaf or other bread product.

Light an orange candle and whichever scent of incense you are comfortable with. Take the loaf off the altar and break it into four pieces, placing one in each corner of your dwelling. As you do so, say the following:

“I call upon the spirits of

North, South East & West

Use your power & this blessing

To protect this home and hearth.

Or you can use any words that are meaningful to you, or that you’re comfortable with. It’s really not about store-bought words, or memorising phrases. It’s about you as an individual, creating magical poetry, with words and intentions.

Another example of a harvest-based ritual is as follows:-

Take a piece of paper, write down the things you’ve harvested so far this year, the things that you’re blessed with – it can be as small or as big as you like – a new book, a second chance, whatever you feel.

Now set light to the paper, place it in a cauldron or other heatproof container. As it burns, say…

“Mother Goddess, Father God,

The true harvest of this year

Is as intangible and indescribable

As the subtle colours of autumn.

I give you thanks for these many

Gifts and blessings I’ve received over the last year”

Magic doesn’t need to take up time with elaborate ceremonies, it comes from inside. Use that old, beaten up fork, and let your energies flow into what you do.

Brightest Blessings & Stay Safe X

In a break from my usual posts about poetry, or what’s been going on in my life, I’ve decided to share something of an even more personal nature. As some of you are aware, I’m working on a new book with the author, Daisy Burton. This book is all about a subject very close to me… Wicca.

In this book I have shared a spell or ritual that can easily be done in the home at this time of year. So I thought I’d share my idea with you. If you’re interested you could try it yourselves, and perhaps bring a little magic and joy to your hearth and home.

Christmas Candle Ritual

Items required:
• A large candle (long-burning, church-style)
• Non-perishable food items (eg, mixed nuts)

On Christmas Eve as it begins to get dark, place the candle next to the food. Light the candle, saying:

“In the past, on this night before Christmas, the story goes that people left offerings of food and drink while lighting candles so that Mary could rest on her way to the manger.”

Carry the candle to a window that faces the road, placing it on the window sill, saying:

“We share this light with all weary travellers on this night, with all those who feel they have nothing at this blessed time. I send blessings to them as we have much to be thankful for.”

Let the candle burn until you go to bed (making sure it’s very safe).
Make a donation within your means, or (outside of pandemic times) give a last-minute invitation to someone who you think might be lonely.

On Christmas Day, add the food to the Christmas meal.

I would like to extend very happy Yuletide greetings to everyone reading this. May you and yours be happy, healthy, and warm this Yuletide, and onwards into 2022.

I thought I’d use my platform for something a little different this time. I’ve used it before to shine a light on and dispel some of the strange facts and myths surrounding Autism Spectrum Disorder, and how life on the spectrum affects me on a day to basis.

What I want to do is raise some awareness toward another condition that is very close to my heart, called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Some of you maybe aware of it, but for those of you who are not familiar, I’d like to try my best to briefly explain what it is and what it involves.

Ehlers-Danlos syndrome is a group of inherited disorders that affect your connective tissues — primarily your skin, joints and blood vessel walls, but also gums and nails. There are various different versions of it, which is why it’s a syndrome, but it is a very disabling and challenging condition.

Symptoms include:

• Over-flexible joints
• Loose joints that dislocate easily
• Joint pain
• Stretchy and fragile skin that bruises easily
• Soft and velvety skin
• Non-healing damaged skin
• Muscle pain
• Extreme tiredness
• Dizziness
• Increased heart rate, especially after standing or eating
• Digestive problems such as heartburn and constipation
• Urinary incontinence
• Heart valve problems
• Protruding eyes

The signs and symptoms of EDS vary by type and can range from somewhat mildly loose joints to life-threatening complications.

Treatment

There is absolutely no cure for Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. Only treatments that aim to manage the symptoms and the awful pain, while preventing any serious complications.

The reason I’ve shared this information with you, dear friends, is that my wonderful wife, who you all know as Mrs Bob, has got EDS, and I’ve heard so many people say things like “Oh I hope it gets better soon”, or suchlike. While I understand that these people have the very best intentions and aren’t meaning to be hurtful when they say these things to her, it upsets me, and her. It’s like saying to me, “hopefully you’ll become less autistic”.

She struggles on a a daily basis with pain and her joints – especially her knees (which have to be specially taped up to help against dislocation, which still happens regularly. She can on a good day, manage to sleep in bed for 2-3 hours, but the rest of the time she has to sleep downstairs on her recliner. Some days she can’t get upstairs, even with crutches. She goes for regular short walks with a crutch every day, but if her knees are out, she can’t, and this has a knock-on effect on her back issues from a car accident in her early 20s.

She is always in some pain, but still tries to smile, and do the best she can without complaining, even when she knows that she’ll suffer the following day as a result of doing too much. She knows it won’t ever get better, but starts each day as new. I think it’s because she does this that most people don’t realise the daily struggle she and others with EDS have.

So please, spare a thought for those of us whose daily existence can be an uphill battle, that is often invisible.

Stay Safe X

My latest vacation with Mrs Bob was a voyage to explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no Aspie has gone before!

Originally, we were supposed to visit Guernsey first, but this was cancelled shortly after we attempted to tender there. The weather was bad and expected to deteriorate, so the Captain decided to “pull the plug”. So, we ploughed on to the next stop on our itinerary, Cork, in Southern Ireland. This gave us a bit more time at sea, so I decided to hit the pool and hot tub with a good graphic novel, while Mrs Bob watched from a recliner by the pool, reading. This was a strange experience for me, starting with getting changed and showering before entering the pool. This is normally uncomfortable for me, but it wasn’t helped when I walked past the sauna and saw a very naked old dude on display like a fish in Morrisons. After that initial awkward moment, I climbed quickly into the hot tub and found that people have an annoying habit of talking to me. Do I look like a freakin‘ people person? I’ve learned to cope with this and worked out how to “people” through working in a pub for the last few years. Still, it’s not my favourite pastime by any stretch of the imagination.

The next day we were on an excursion to Kinsale from the port at Cobh, Cork, and I must admit, the coach trip was very pleasant. The roads and scenery were pretty much like the ones here in south Devon, so we both felt really at home. I also found out that Kinsale was home to Keith Floyd who used to own the establishment I work in back home, so that was a fantastic touch to my visit. Kinsale is a quaint small town with a high street of shops and cafes. We were free to explore, so Mrs Bob found a little back-street cafe with lovely home-made gluten free cakes and huge cups of fresh coffee. Just what I needed! After refuelling, we found a touristy gift shop and Mes Bob went in search of a Christmas bauble for the tree. This is a tradition we have always had – getting one from every new place we visit, so we remember it. I went and sat on a bench as I was feeling a bit headachey, and once the bauble (a lovely metal Celtic cross made for hanging on a tree), we went in search of Taytos.

Taytos are Irish crisps and we had been told we MUST try them if we went to Ireland. Mrs Bob didn’t give up til she’d bought some, but it was harder than she had been led to believe! Once we got on the coach to return home, we checked out the packaging… neither of us could eat them! The salt and vinegar crisps contain both lactose and barley 😳. We tried!

Back on board, we enjoyed sitting on the balcony and watching as Cobh disappeared and we made our way to Dublin. Mrs Bob decided she wanted a drink from the Martini bar, which had a bar made of ice, and it was then that she discovered her favourite cruise drink… a candied Apple Martini! Several times she carefully balanced the very full, very shallow martini glass as the ship swayed, and she got in the lift up to our cabin’s deck! It’s nicer drinking on our balcony than at the bar, apparently.

At dinner, we were sat at a table of 6 for the cruise and we got to know the other two couples really well. One couple were originally from Paignton, and had been on 3 cruises in the last year, all on the same ship! The other were from Quebec, and the husband found it really challenging to speak in English every dinner time. Still, they were really nice and very chatty. Mrs Bob discovered that our very obliging, kind and helpful waiter was called Freddis, and was from Honduras. He had been waiting on cruises for 18 years and this was his last year, now his sons were through university. He looked after us, with all our food issues, so well and we were very grateful to him

In Dublin there were many excursions planned by the cruise ship, but I had personally organised my own trip into Dublin, to visit the Grand Lodge of Ireland. Mrs Bob was happy to tag along, despite having no real interest. After a shuttle bus ride and a fairly long walk, we found it. That Grand Lodge is the second most senior Grand Lodge in the world and the oldest in continuous existence. It is the institution that governs the Masonic Fraternity within Ireland and also in a number of Provinces overseas. This was a very special visit for me, as it was my first visit to an overseas lodge. While I couldn’t tour the temple that day, I was able to visit the museum which gave an interesting insight into Ireland’s Masonic past.

After this, we had a quick look around the centre of Dublin, then took the shuttle bus back to the ship. As we were the only people on it, the driver took us on a covert quick detour to show us a couple of sights, which we were very grateful for.

After two days spent in the Emerald Isle, though, it was time to set sail for colder climes, which meant two days at sea. This was great, as both of us love sea days and I could spend time exploring the ship and taking in some of the activities, quizzes, etc. Mrs Bob joined in some, but I won a medal in one event titled “Are you smarter than a Ship’s Officer?”. Apparently, I am! After all this excitement, I went to eat in the all-day-eat-as-much-as-you-like type restaurant on Deck 14, with a wonderful view of the sea. I found out that they made gluten-free pizzas, so I had one and a nice salad with it (just to feel healthy) and then went to find Mrs Bob and have a rest in the cabin. Then, we went to the inside pool again, for a nice relaxing hot-tub session and a lie-down by the pool with a Walking Dead graphic novel and a podcast. Mrs Bob had her Kindle and settled down with me.

I need to mention the other thing I found useful while adrift at sea was that the TV in our stateroom had some cracking free movies to watch, so we took in a few of them during sea days or quiet evenings, including:

• Solo A Star Wars Story
• Antman and the Wasp
• A Simple Favour

The Upside

I did find that during the sea days with nearly 3,000 people packed on board, my wireless, noise-cancelling headphones came in very useful, helping me to avoid too much noise. When you look like I do with them on, most people will do anything to avoid conversation with me or even getting in a lift with me. Which is fine by me, as I’m not really the most sociable of peeps.

(This is my happy face.)

Anyway, after two wonderful, relaxing days at sea, we arrived in Akureyri situated in the far north of Iceland. It was simply stunning. Not only had we been inside the Arctic Circle (the second time for us) to get there, we had also caught the phenomenon known as the Midnight Sun. This is also known as the Polar Day, where the sun is fully visible for 24-hours, day and night. This is a very strange sensation, and I was fascinated by it. This picture was taken after midnight:

The trip out and around Akureyri was fascinating and beautiful, despite a little rain and being overcast, I was surprised at how warm it was in early May. Amongst other things, we saw incredible landscapes, waterfalls, ancient houses made of turf, an ancient church and a botanical garden. The guide was witty, informative and really made the trip come alive!

The excursion around Akureyri wore both of us out. By the end of the day we were both in some pain and we decided there was no way either of us would be able to do the 9-hour excursion we had booked and paid for the next day, in Reykjavík.

Instead, once we arrived, I spent the day relaxing by the pool and took part in a paper airplane competition! This was much more fun than it sounds for an aerospace engineer and a nerd. Mrs Bob was in a lot of pain, so she rested in the cabin most of the day. We enjoyed some good food and even better wine and spectacular views even from the ship. I also managed to work on some new scribbles, which made me very happy.

Then, it was on to Lerwick, on the Shetland Isles. Once we had set sail, that evening was a silent disco and I had to check it out. This is a fascinating social experiment where a group of people, mostly intoxicated, wear headphones. They choose the music they want to listen to from three channels – 70s, 80s or 90s/00s. They then proceed to dance (and sing – loudly and tunelessly) the night away, much to the amusement of those people who are spectators and can hear their singing rather than the music!

The Shetlands are a fantastic place and, like the Faroe and Orkney Isles, were originally under the control of Denmark. In the case of Orkney and Shetland, this was until 1468, when King Christian of Denmark needed money to pay a dowry. He entered into a commercial contract on 8 September 1468 with the King of Scotland, James III, to whom he pawned his personal interests in Shetland & Orkney for 50,000 Rhenish. Unfortunately, when the Danes tried to settle the debt in 1549, 1550, 1558, 1560, 1585, 1589, 1640, & 1660, the Scots rejected each attempt and refused to give them back, thus causing them to remain under Scottish rule, which hasn’t changed since.

I went on a short coach trip down to southern Shetland, with no stops, and Mrs Bob wandered around Lerwick. We both had fabulous times and loved doing our own thing for a couple of hours, then sharing experiences after.

Once back on the ship it was time to set sail for Southampton, where our adventures had begun. The North Sea was incredibly calm and smooth – almost glass-like with such fog you couldn’t see off the ship at all. It was strangely eerie but also hypnotic. Mrs Bob sat on the balcony looking at it for ages!

We arrived at Soton docks at 0600 and we were up, packed and ready! We leapt into action and left the boat half an hour later to begin the 3-hour drive home. We collected Dog on our way… he was confused to see us and yowled loudly the whole way home, but he soon realised we were staying and he happily took up his favourite cuddle place on Mrs Bob’s lap, after scoffing a bowl of food faster than either of us had ever seen him eat.

All in all it was the trip of a lifetime for both of us. It was wonderful to spend two weeks together making wonderful memories – a real Bucket List experience for the two of us. A massive thank you goes out to Mrs Bob for single-handedly organising the whole thing for us. She is a gem…

Stay Safe X

After some nineteen months two Christmases, many happy hours behind the bar and in front of the roaring wood fire, even being snowed out of the village during the bad weather we had earlier in 2018, I’ve had to call time on this chapter of my working life.

This was a not a decision of my own making, or of the owners of the establishment, but more of circumstances outside of my control. While I’m sad to be moving on from there, the job helped me to escape from a previous job where I was desperately unhappy and treated poorly. I shall, however, take with me some very fond memories and some great new friendships.

Where am I going from here? Surprisingly I’m going to a venue that I applied to 19 months ago and was unsuccessful. The owner remembers me from my interview and contacted me. He wanted someone with my particular skill set, so I went down to speak to him and after agreeing terms and a start date, I’m all set to move to pastures new.

To all my friends, colleagues & regulars at my last place. I’ve really enjoyed my time in the village. It’s now time to close this chapter in my story and invite you to join me as season three begins and the journey continues. Hopefully, I’ll see some of you in the future. If not, then thanks for some great memories.

Stay Safe X