Note: this post was written some time ago.

Well this weekend has certainly been a very strange one, in some ways. As the week drew to a close, we’ve seen some great weather – well, truth be told it’s almost a heatwave, and a bank holiday weekend to boot, so I knew that work would be heaving all weekend.

Friday night we started food service early due to a concert at the local church. This meant that we were full for the first part of the shift – no free tables, no exceptions. We were also short-staffed, so we were going to be really tested and, boy, were we. It was a crazy night but thanks to a great team, including the owner and son, with me manning the bar, teamwork made the dreamwork and we really excelled ourselves.

Saturday was a somewhat quieter affair, but still ticking over nicely all day and then in the evening too… ethere are always those customers who try to push reasonable boundaries in time and expectation, but we are here to serve and that’s what we did.

Sunday was a definite game of two halves. Lunch service was exceptionally quiet… in fact it’s the quietest I’ve seen it since I started there. I guess it’s down to the hot weather and some car race or other in Monaco, but it was the calm before the storm. That night we were fully booked all night for our live music and pizza evening, ending the week with one hell of a bang. Having no tables or pizza bases left didn’t deter some customers from asking the owner, after I had explained the situation… as if he could magic some up, but he told them exactly the same.

This always annoys me but thankfully the owner sticks up for me like that. The night went without a hitch and time flew by, as we were pushed to our limits until, finally,an hour before closing it started to calm down and we could breathe again, and I could start restocking the bar and getting ready for a long weekend off work.

As I got in my car and watched the village fade away in my rear view mirror, I was looking forward to a well deserved rest with my Mrs Bob, as we have some great stuff planned…and some sun bathing? Nah, scrap the sunbathing, it’s too hot, and I’m not a big outdoorsy type.

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I recently experienced first hand the effect of something that Mrs Bob has told me about time and time again, regarding facial my expressions, or lack thereof.

The night started off at work as any normal evening would. It was fairly busy, and with a great vibe going on in the restaurant, which carried on throughout the evening, I was even doing the whole walking around talking to the guests and practising my smalltalk.

It was a busy night, and when one of the waiting staff went home, they gave me information about remaining diners. When the kitchen staff checked to see if they were needed further, I checked on what I’d been told was the only table who were considering dessert. They declined, so I informed the kitchen staff that they were finished for the evening.

A couple of minutes later, another table asked about dessert. I asked if they could give me a minute, and went to let the kitchen know not to leave, but this is where it all went wrong. As I returned to the table wanting dessert, one of the diners seemed very annoyed and snapped that I should forget it if I was going to be rude.

I was rather confused and said that I wasn’t being rude at all, but they were convinced that I was. I was unsure what I’d done, so I asked, and was told, “your facial expression.” This was something I hadn’t expected, so I was rather taken aback but when I tried to explain that I don’t really have facial expressions, they just laughed.

The owner went over to apologise to the table and I prepared the front of house for closing, as it was that time. However, when I went to leave as usual, the owner and customers were still there. I was brought into the conversation by the owner, which made my anxiety sky-rocket. It had been explained to the customer that I “see things differently”, and I apologised and assured them again that I genuinely hadn’t meant to seem rude. I explained that I’m autistic and that, as a result, my facial expressions don’t always match my emotional state. That means that I can look angry when I’m really not, and I can’t tell that my expression is giving that impression.

This is often culturally referred to as “resting bitch face”. One psychological term is “Flat Affect”, which describes a lack of emotional facial reactivity or incorrect facial reactivity; basically I get asked regularly why I’m in a bad or sad mood based on my facial expressions. I could be really calm, relaxed and minding my own business; I could be socially anxious, but no matter what my mood, I still get asked what’s wrong.

The fact is that, as an autistic adult, I have difficulty in processing emotions physically and emotionally. Therefore, I’m genuinely not aware of my facial expression and, as with many of us on the spectrum, what is showing on my face is, most of the time, certainly not how I feel inside. I realise that this can be misleading for other people, but I can’t change and suddenly know how to control my expression.

So please, just because we might look angry, try to remember that it’s possibly not how we feel inside. On top of that, there is the anxiety and stress from trying to process the situation we are in, so although we might not be smiling on the outside, inside we might be doing our happy dance. Below is an example of Resting Bitch Face taken when i was not angry at all.

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Well, I’m on roll after the success I had at the Ways with Words literary festival, and the offer of a public reading at my local bookstore. I’ve been feeling really positive about my scribbles after that.

That being said, I’ve now started looking at more ‘open mic’ nights and poetry competitions to enter and maybe share my work with a greater audience. As a result, I’ve entered two of my brand new scribbles in to a poetry competition to test the virtual water so to speak. So, fingers crossed – here goes nothing!

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I’m really pleased to announce that I’ve seen the cover of my dear friend, Daisy Burton’s brand new literary adventure. As I said earlier, Daisy is taking her skills in a whole new direction and has written a novel. Well, I’ve been fortunate enough to get a look at the cover art, so I’d like to share it with you guys.

If you’re on Twitter @DaisyBurton1995 is her handle Daisy Burton Twitter

As you know recently I’ve been hitting the gym hard, and the results were not really that noticeable at all, apart from every Monday morning when I would take a deep breath and with some trepidation step onto the dreaded scales, for the weekly weigh in. This was not as bad as it seemed, because I could see some results, if only small ones. I had found that I was losing about two kilograms a week, which was something.

Then tragedy struck….. the gym is closed for three weeks for a complete refurb of the equipment and new furnishings, which is much needed to be frank. This means that I can’t keep my usual routine going. I can, however, do one of two things. Firstly, I could sign up for group classes with lots of strangers, which starts my anxiety off big time – one, because I hate groups especially at the gym; two, because most of the attendees are the usual toned, good-looking-catalogue-model types who turn up in their best clothes with hair and makeup (in the girls’ cases) done to perfection. They tend to look down on us regular slobs.

The other alternative is to drive for half an hour or so and use one of the other gyms in the chain, providing, of course, that I have phoned ahead and asked them for permission to visit their centre and use the gym. It’s a very frightening thought, going to a new gym, as I’m not sure where the centre is (and I can’t go somewhere without knowing exactly where it is and what’s there), etc. As a result, I’ve been left with no option but to try exercising at home until the gym is reopened.

While I’ve been away from the gym I’ve been wondering what was happening with my weight, and with no regular weigh-in sessions, my mind has been working overtime, so I decided to weigh myself. Lo and behold, I’ve actually put back on the stone in weight I’d lost.

I mean, I’ve cut down big time on all the bad stuff – I’m only eating one (very healthy) meal a day and maybe a sandwich if I’m hungry later on. I’ve done everything I normally do except the exercise and the weight is piling back on. This has led me to wonder what’s the point if all the good work can be undone in seven days how bad will it be after the near two more weeks before the gym is open again.

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For those of you who don’t know who she is, Daisy Burton is a good friend of ours and was one of the guest poets in my last book, Scribblology V2.

Well Daisy’s back again, but not with her fresh brand of fiery poetry. This time, she’s done something completely different – her new novel is called Sensible, and it’s due for release in the near future.

“It’s 1995 and Jessica Munroe is 27.

Newly-separated, she’s always been known as Sensible Jess, but that’s all about to change.

Everything is possible for the new, reckless Jess now she’s discovered the internet. She is looking for adventure, and goes on a journey of discovery – of the world, of sex and of herself.

If only she knew just how much she’s going to face in the coming year – passion, travel and excitement are not necessarily all they’re cracked up to be…”

I’m very pleased to support this new book project by Daisy, and wish her every success with this fantastic novel.

I’ve now got myself a brand new YouTube channel now all I need is ideas and content to put on there for people to see.

This is very scary for me, as placing content on this media platform requires me to be in front of the camera, rather than hiding behind the mic with a podcast.

If you want to have a look at my YouTube channel, the link is below. YouTube Bob Christian

Why not get in touch here or e mail me at E mail me with suggestions of things you’d like to see, topics you’d like covered, etc.

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I recently wandered down to my nearest comic book store, as I hadn’t been for quite a while. Between writing new stuff, designing the look for my next new anthology and trying to revise a bunch of questions and answers for an important test, I’ve had very little time to keep up with my other, somewhat geeky, passions.

So, I decided that, as it was such a nice day, I’d head out into the sticks to my favourite little town on the edge of Dartmoor for a coffee and maybe a little graphic novel retail therapy. I wandered in and saw the member of staff on duty was not my friend, but the owner of the store, so I tried my hardest to do the whole small talk thing. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not them it’s me and I am very aware of this fact. Nevertheless, I think it went smoothly and I even managed to pick up a graphic novel for the price of a caramel latte, so it was a win-win situation.

I started talking to her about my work (ie my new anthology and the attempt at podcasting) and my recent performance at the local Ways with Words literary festival, as the owner was not aware of my books, etc. She had a brainwave! The Bookseller’s Association is apparently having a poetry day in October, and she asked if I would be interested in going down for a poetry night to read some of my work. I happily said ‘yes’ as it would give me a chance to strengthen my delivery and interpersonal skills, as well as promote my latest book, Scribblology V2. I would also get the chance to try out some of my new scribbles and test the water, so to speak.

So, it’s official! I will be speaking at the poetry night at Gnash Comics, Ashburton, in October. Stay tuned for more details.

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I’ve had the cover art for my new anthology back from the graphic artist I had to design it. I’m so pleased with it I thought I’d share a small thumbnail of part of the finished article.

This next anthology won’t be out until at least April 2019 but early reviews of some of the content is very promising. You’ll have to wait and see though I promise it will be worth the wait.

I’ve started something that many people do at the beginning of the year for a week or two, maybe three if they’re really dedicated to it. Yes, I’ve joined the gym. Why have I done this seven months into the year? Well, it’s due to a number of things. One, I’m tired of having a silhouette resembling Alfred Hitchcock. Two, some customers have said that I’m tubby and that the exercise of going up and down the stairs in the pub might shift a few pounds. Three, my podiatrist told me I was damaging my feet being “seriously obese”. Four, I had a heart scare the other month, resulting in a ambulance ride to A&E. Five, I’m going to be topless later on in the year,when I start visiting the swimming pool.

That being said, I’ve set out a plan of going to the gym three times a week first thing in the morning, when there aren’t many people in the gym. I start with around half an hour on the treadmill while listening to the latest episode of my favourite podcast. This is a great way to clear the backlog of podcasts and to get my heart rate going. Then I hit the weights and work on my arms, legs and abs. Once I’ve got this routine going I’m planning to go to the gym Mon-Fri Tuesday and Thursday would be just using the treadmill only, until I can swim (I can’t yet as I have a new tattoo).

I have also stopped my habit of just eating junk and eating three to four times a day, I’m now eating two meals – one main and one sandwich-type meal. I’ve cut out the sugar-loaded fizzy drinks and sweets that I love, and I drink an average of seven pints of no added sugar orange and pineapple squash per day.

I’m not sure I can see any difference in my appearance, though Mrs Bob can. I can’t, however, deny the facts and the facts are I’ve dropped a couple of kilos in the first week which I’m happy with. After getting the equivalent weight in sugar out of the cupboard to see, I am pleased that its actually quite a loss.

So let’s see if I can get myself back into shape, well a shape other than round. I’ll keep you posted as to my progress on here, wish me luck guys and girls

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