The one thing I have learnt over the last 13 years or so that I’ve been perfecting and honing my skills as poet, is that, with any form of creative artist’s work, there will always be someone who looks at their painting, writing or song and says to their friends “She’s singing about Cedric! My uncle’s cousin’s cat is called Cedric, so this song must’ve been written about me!”

The whole thing about any creative artist’s work is that art, in whatever form, is subjective.  People can, and will, see what they want to see in it, even if that’s not the way the creator intended it to be perceived. And that’s really the whole point of art. I have been asked a number of times, over the years, about my scribbles and to whom they pertain.  Most of the time, if it’s about someone specific, then I will make it obvious, as I did with ‘Angels’ and ‘Sisterhood’.  These are obviously about my family members.

Recently, though, I’ve started to write with a more angry spoken-word, almost rap style flow, and as such, I’ve been taking my writing to a new level, where I include things like references to pop culture. This was supposed to be a new direction for me, creatively, so I could then take my scribbles and maybe add a beat to them, and possibly try rapping them.

This was my first creative direction change in about five years. I wanted to try to stay fresh and relevant in this ever-changing creative scene that I’m blessed to be a part of. It also opened me up to a whole new problem – when I write, there is a lot of emotion involved; this is how someone like me on the autism spectrum attempts to make sense of what I’m feeling. I don’t always see the big picture while I’m furiously scribbling away.

This can lead to confusion over what, or sometimes who, the piece is about.  It can lead to awkward conversations and sometimes arguments, when that was never the intended outcome. So please, when reading, looking or listening to a creative work, appreciate it for its form, style or whatever you find good about it.  Try not to look too deeply into it. If you are sure it refers to you, ask the artist privately.  But if you’re told that it really isn’t about you, try not to take it personally…

Art is subjective.

Stay Safe X

Contrary to popular belief, many autistic adults have very successful relationships, partners and children. Some of us, like me, do manage marriage, long relationships, children and family life very well indeed, while others may have varying degrees of difficulties in these areas. It can be challenging for NTs who are in a relationship with a person with Autism, though, and I’m going to look at this side of things now..

And it seems like an excellent time to introduce a co-host for this particular subject. I’m very happy that I’ve persuaded my wife, Mrs Bob, to do a guest spot with me here tonight and impart some of the knowledge she’s accumulated about Autistic partners during the years of our relationship.

I’m going to look at a few areas regarding relationships, including partners experiences, diagnosis, counselling and other forms of support, to having children with an autistic partner.

PARTNER’S EXPERIENCES

While everyone’s experiences are going to be different, there are some very common themes: Autism is a mostly invisible disability, meaning that it can be very hard to explain to your NT friends and family why your autistic partner might behave in a certain way.

It may be harder for an autistic person to understand other people’s emotions and/or feelings

It can be very difficult to live with an autistic partner’s sometimes unintended, hurtful behaviour and their apparent emotional distance.

Mrs Bob – It can be difficult for an NT to be in love with a person with Autism, though it does depend on the person. You have to realise that an Autistic partner might display some of the normal indicators that an NT might show to hint that they’re losing interest, but they don’t mean the same thing. It can just mean that your partner is engrossed in something, or that they think that it’s obvious that they love you and so they don’t need to express it.

That can be so hard for an NT, even when you know that’s the case. But here, communication is the key. Learning that you have to say “I’m feeling that you’re a bit distant lately, is everything ok?” Or “Can I have a hug? I’m feeling a bit vulnerable” is the key. It’s not easy to do, especially to start with, and if the partner with Autism can try to understand that, it helps. I’m very lucky that you express your feelings and love very openly and you are starting to understand that it isn’t always obvious that you love me and that I need to hear it more than you think.

Having an autistic partner may mean having to help them with social interaction, particularly around those pesky unwritten social rules. Not understanding these rules can make your partner more vulnerable

Mrs Bob, I think that it’s helpful for the NT partner to mention to friends and relations before they meet their partner with Autism that their partner doesn’t like physical contact, like hugs, before they meet. It’s not always possible to do that, but I’ve found it does help, because hugs from anyone except me or the children do make you feel very uncomfortable. I will do anything I can to make social interactions easier for you, especially first meetings with people I already know. I’ve occasionally mentioned in passing that you have Asperger’s to those who have a lot of knowledge or experience of the condition, because that will help everyone involved when you meet.

Although having a relationship with an autistic person can be just as rewarding as any other relationship, there might be adjustments that you both need to make, such as thinking about the way you communicate with each other.

Mrs Bob – We are lucky that we communicate pretty well about a lot of things (sometimes by talking, other times by text, which can take a lot of the pressure off for you). We also have an imaginary sarcasm sign that we can both hold up if we need to make it clear we are being sarky. You use sarcasm occasionally now, but you are still learning about how to use it.

I am often struck by how you can read something much more definite than I intended into something I’ve said. A general, fictional example is that I might say that “I think I’d prefer peaches to apricots today”, and you might take from that that I hate apricots and would never eat them. But that’s not the case at all. I think that means that the neurotypical in the relationship needs to think a lot harder about how they say things than they would if they were with another NT. That’s not always possible or reasonable to expect, though, especially if the NT is feeling emotional, and rationality goes out the window!

As an NT, you may have the additional responsibility of helping your partner with Autism to manage their money, and finding employment, if they are able to work. You might need to support them by advocating, or helping them to have the confidence to stand up for themselves. These days, there is so much game-playing in social interactions, and things like office politics, which NT people aren’t always aware they’re doing. These are things that people with autism don’t easily understand, if at all. Often, we assume that whatever is being said is the straight up truth, and this can cause real difficulty and confusion for us.

It’s not all bad though! ,A quote i found online from an NT partner of a person with Autism says “We have had our ups and downs, but I love him more than anything and find him totally facinating to be with. We make a great team. I have learned so much from about him truth, loyalty friendship and fun. He’s the most special person in my life”
No that wasn’t from Mrs Bob!

Mrs Bob – But that is so true, though! I love how many interesting facts your head can hold. You have one for just about every eventuality and it’s always fascinating to hear you talk. I love that when you’re comfortable with a subject you can talk endlessly about it. It isn’t all unicorns, tinsel and fluffy bunnies, the same as any other relationship, but we do make a fantastic team. We support, respect and love each other so much that we deal with problems (both small and huge) as a team as much as possible. If we do argue, which isn’t often, we always make up quickly and apologise to each other. I think it’s a healthy environment – more healthy than other relationships I’ve had with NTs. Most importantly, we really love each other and that makes everything easier to deal with.

BEHAVIOUR AND RELATIONSHIP STRATEGY

Your autistic partner may have difficulties interpreting non-verbal communication, such as your body language, facial expressions and tone of voice. They may not be able to tell from your behaviour alone that you need support or reassurance. This might be hurtful, because it can come across as indifference. It’s not very romantic to have to spell things out if you want something for a birthday or Valentine’s Day, or if you’re feeling low, ignored and really want your partner to notice, and maybe do something to reassure you. (I’m not talking about offering a hot beverage here either, people!) This is only likely to be achieved if you you try to be explicit with your partner, telling them what you’re thinking, how you’re feeling, and what you need from them. They are not likely to pick up hints, even the really unsubtle ones, trust me.

Mrs Bob – Yes, this can be hard in the beginning, but once you realise that if you need something from your partner you just have to say so, and not wait and expect them to know, it gets easier. Hinting and hoping for something to happen is a form of game-playing that just about everyone does and it does hurt if you have given some subtle (or pretty unsubtle!) clues that you’d like something, but they have been seemingly ignored. But that can be the case with some NT men too. It’s quite an adjustment to make, to just say what you’d like, or what you need emotionally, but once you start, it’s easier the more you do it.

Your partner may be anxious about certain things that seem silly to you. Maybe they have routines and patterns they need to follow when doing certain tasks like showering or making a hot drink, even down to following certain seemingly strange routes when travelling. They might have problems with organising and prioritising their time, or be very inflexible about certain things, which can seem strange and cause friction.

Mrs Bob – It can be frustrating to have to stick to routines and have lots of notice about any changes, if you’re a spontaneous type, but some NTs, like me, quite like routines too. It is hard to understand some routines, such as always turning off a road and taking a much longer detour to a destination, jinstead of going straight. But unless you’re late for something, and the detour is going to make you even later, it doesn’t really matter, and you just get used to it.

It can help if you talk to your partner about any problems you are having in your relationship with them, especially I f you’re able to explain your feelings in a calm and reasoned way. You might not be feeling calm and reasonable, but it will help if you are able to pick a time when you’re feeling relatively calm to talk to them about it. Your partner may well prefer to discuss things in writing as it gives them more time to process what you were saying and this could be done using clear language in an email or text. It can be really frustrating to have to manage relationship in this way but it will ultimately help both of you if you were able to discuss it clearly.

That is the best way to do it, but it’s not always possible, or reasonable, for an NT to be calm and rational when discussions start. It can be very frustrating having to always live by countless rules and routines and that can spill over sometimes. But it’s how you both, as a partnership, handle the arguments that will happen, and how you resolve them. We are lucky that is we do argue, we always both apologise and neither of us sulk, or hold grudges. We just say what we have to, clear the air, sometimes loudly (!) and then make up!! It’s a very healthy way to do it, I think.

DIAGNOSIS

Getting a diagnosis can help you understand your partner with Autism better, and see why they may face some difficulties. It can also help your partner to make sense of their life experiences and begin to identify with other autistic people. If your partner isn’t diagnosed but you suspect they autistic can be difficult to know how to talk about it with them. I’ve mentioned the IQ test before on another podcast but the simple online test might be a way to introduce that difficult subject to them. After that, you can discuss it with your GP, and they might make a referral if they agree with you.

Getting a diagnosis can also help them to alleviate some of the stresses and problems your NT partner might have if they can see that you’re not just being awkward, difficult, or in some cases downright weird. It will help them see that there is actually a reason behind your behaviours and if they’re interested, it can help to give them an insight into how the autistic brain works, and be aware of the changes that they might need to make to the relationship or to how you communicate with each other.

HAVING CHILDREN WITH AN AUTISTIC PARTNER

You might be concerned about the cause of your partner’s autism and whether it could be passed on to any children you have. At the moment, research is still being carried out to establish whether Autism is hereditary or not. I had already had children prior to finding out that I was autistic, so that decision was taken away from me, but it may be something that would weigh on other people’s minds. If I had known that I had Autism before I had my two, I would have been very unsure about having children.

If you’re concerned, the best thing to do would be to sit and discuss this with your partner before making plans to start family. There are a few things that could cause issues later, such as dealing with the change to plans and routines with an unpredictable baby and also the possibility of having an autistic child and the challenges that that would raise.

What part of “No!” don’t you
Seem to fucking understand?
I’m guessing there’s some
Major cerebral mishap going on
In that deluded cranial asylum
You call home to those thoughts.

I wish you could escape from
The padded cell you’ve created
Inside your misguided headspace.
Please start taking your fucking
meds or whatever it takes to help
You finally wake from this fictional

Nightmare “love story” you imagine.
I’m not Jack to your Sally, and I never
Will be. Not now, not in this universe,
Or any of the other multiverses ever.
The only place this has ever existed
Is in your daydreams and fantasies.

I’ve tried going easy on you and I guess
That was my biggest fuck up – being nice.
I’ve tried that, and shit bitch, it ain’t worked.
It’s just resulted in big games, fake names,
More faces than the god of many faces, but
This ain’t no game of thrones; no drama.

Your winter’s finally here. Game’s over, proving
I’m finally where I belong – at the top of my game.
Ruling this land while sitting atop my iron throne,
With my queen at my side, where she belongs.
I’ve given you an amnesty from the dogs of war.
But no more. Fuck this, it’s game over, lights out bitch!

Autism in parents

As I’ve mentioned before, there are around 700 thousand autistic people in the UK – that’s more than 1 in 100. Many of those aren’t diagnosed until they are adults, including me. Some may have sought a formal diagnosis, others will have read about autism and decided they probably are autistic, but don’t feel they need a diagnosis. But ultimately, no two autistic people are the same. They have their own personalities, abilities, talents and life experiences, and autism affects people in different ways.

How will my parent’s autism affect me?

Having an autistic parent could affect you and your family in many different ways. Here are some situations I’ve heard about:

My Dad doesn’t seem to know if I’m feeling a bit down. Why is that?

Your dad might not notice that you’re upset if he finds it difficult to interpret facial expressions and body language. If your dad knows you’re upset, he might not be sure of the best way to comfort you. You might need to say that you need a hug. An autistic parent might not realise that you need to be told that they love you. They may expect you to already know that they love you, and feel that it’s obvious.

I get a bit confused at times, as I’m not sure when dad’s actually speaking to me.

You may find that your dad doesn’t look you in the eyes when he’s talking to you. Some autistic people can find it very hard to make or hold eye contact. Or he may seem to stare at a fixed spot, and this can end up making you feel awkward and embarrassed. Neither of these things mean that your dad isn’t listening to you or considering what you are saying. It’s just hard for him to know how best to deal with the conversation.

Why doesn’t my dad seem to understand what people mean?

Autistic people can take longer than others to take in what people are saying. They may need time to think about what’s been said, before answering. Your dad might find it helpful if you speak to him in short, clear sentences and allow time for him to process the information before expecting a response.

My dad is obsessed with Batman and talks about it all the time

It’s quite common for autistic people to have an intense interest, which is often called a “narrow field of focus”. Some people will love the same thing all their lives, while others will go through phases of different special interests. If you don’t share your dad’s interest, it may be useful to him if you could tell him clearly when he can and can’t talk to you about his intense interest. You can explain that you have other things you need to do, such as homework. If you’re clear about the boundaries, he will undoubtedly be happy to follow them.

Dad keeps on at me about school all the time and shouts at me if I don’t do things straight away.

Lots of young people feel pressure from their parents about school as parents just want their children to get a good education. They may also expect their children to help out around the house. However, if your dad spends a lot of time talking about how hard you should study or asking you to do chores, it can be stressful for you.

Try explaining to your dad that, whilst you know these things are important, you need to do other things and have some free time. It may take time for him to understand this. You can help by giving examples, keeping what you say short and clear or writing it down so that he can refer back to it.

Autistic people can have a literal understanding of speech, so if you say you will do something “in a minute”, meaning “quite soon”, your dad may well be expecting you to do it in one minute’s time. If you can be clear and exact when answering him will help you both.

My dad’s really cross when I play the music I like.

Like anyone, some autistic people love music, some don’t. Your dad’s taste in music is very likely to be different to yours.

It’s important to think about any sensory sensitivities that your parent might have when you play your music. If your dad gets really cross about it or puts his hands over his ears, even when it’s not very loud, it may be that he has very sensitive hearing. This can be very painful for those people who have it.

Try to compromise, perhaps only playing your music loudly when you know he is out of the house or listen to it through headphones. Or stop listening to Justin fucking Beiber…

Dad gets really stressed about me socialising. What can I do?

It’s possible that your dad doesn’t see the need to socialise, and so finds it strange that you want to have a group of friends. You bringing friends home could make him anxious as he might not find it easy to have strangers in the house. It will be a break from his routine and hard to deal with.

Try talking to your dad about what you get out of friendships such as companionship, a chance to talk, laugh and share common interests. It can also help to:

check with your dad that it’s OK to go out, giving him clear details of where you’re going, who with, and when you’ll be back
prepare your dad for your friends’ visits by telling him when they’re coming, for how long and what room you will be in. Try to stick to what you’ve agreed when your friends are there.
tell your friends beforehand that your dad is autistic – this might help them understand some of the things that they may find a little unusual in your dad’s behaviour and why he might be really strict about you being home when you said you would be.
Dad gets stressed if something unexpected happens
Autistic people have a need for routine, which helps them make sense of the world around them. They can become anxious if there is a break or a change to their usual routine. Your parent may have rules they need to stick to and will find it easier to cope if they have warning of any changes. This can be hard on you, as you may like to be spontaneous.

If you break one of the rules he needs to have in place, wait until your dad is calm before talking to him about why the rule was broken. Explain that some things are out of your control, for example being late home due to a late bus or car breakdown.

If you know that something different to the normal routine is going to happen, tell your dad , say why this change is happening, and when things will go back to normal.

Acknowledging your needs

Growing up with an autistic parent can sometimes be lonely, confusing and scary, especially if your parent sometimes has meltdowns. You may be angry that your friends’ parents are different to yours and feel that this is unfair. You may be the only person in your family who isn’t autistic, leaving you feeling isolated. It may often feel as if your needs are secondary to your autistic parent’s

It’s important that you talk to other people about your experiences. Confide in an adult such as a friend, family member, teacher or pastoral support worker about what is happening at home and ask for their support, or contact childline. Remember to explain that your parent is autistic.

There are a couple of good books too

My Parent has an Autism Spectrum Disorder A Workbook for Children and Teens by Barbara R. Lester

Something Different About Dad by Kirsti Evans and John Swogger

I wouldn’t normally share pictures of my tattoos as:

a) They’re not really that interesting to other people, and

b) They’re nothing really to do with what I post normally.

This latest piece of ink, though is a form of poetry, which translated for those of you who can’t read Elvish script says:

I love thee, I love but thee,

With a love that shall not die,

Till the sun grows old,

And the stars grow cold.

plus the date that I married Mrs Bob. One of the best days of my life. It is a very special tattoo for me and it’s been done over my heart.

When I think back to my first memories
Of you and my mother, it’s nothing
Special. You loved the demon bottle
More than you ever did or could
Love me, her and my baby sister.
The only one you loved was you.

The lies about imaginary overtime;
All excuses you gave to our mum
So you could spend time with
Your pint-sized mistress, followed
Up with a threesome with a couple
Of top-shelf whiskey shots.

Your rage and anger on your return,
Just because you had to leave
Them and come back to the sad
Reality of your “millstone life” –
The family that you hated for
Keeping you away from your demons.

The bipolar attitude you had with us;
One minute Mr Nice Guy, the next
You’re raging at me and my sister;
Throwing plates up the walls;
The swearing, shoving, and
The emotional and physical beat-downs.

You chose to walk out on the three
Of us the night before Mother’s Day.
I can’t believe you chose the coward’s
Way out,. No contact; no help or
Emotional or financial support.
Leaving me to try and keep the family together

In the aftermath of the destruction
Your absence caused for the two of us.
Spending days staring out the window
When you said “See you Saturday”.
Wondering what I’d done to you
To make you stay away – why you hated us.

Finally, getting the one thing you wanted;
Freedom from a family that loved you enough
To try and stop your drinking, your violent temper,
Your world of lies Into the arms of another woman.
Not one, but two half-sisters, one of whom you discarded
Because she wasn’t “normal” or “acceptable” to you.

Just when I thought the lying and cheating had stopped,
Grandad had to force you tell my half-sister about us.
Sixteen years of “You’re an only child”, the deceit was finally
About to catch up with you and crash around you.
Don’t think I blame her at all for anything; that responsibility
Rests entirely at yours and that replacement’s feet

The thing is that I’ve broken your fucking cycle, bitch.
I’ve spent my life doing the opposite of you, with my angels.
I’m not the perfect parent or husband – I wish I was to my family.
I’ve fought to get where I am in my life, I could have chosen
The easy route like you and run away, given up, lied and hidden.
We share DNA but that’s where the similarities end, motherfucker.
We are not the same, and never will be in this or any lifetime.

I know that when it all comes to an end, turning black,
game over, my heart gives out and I face whatever’s next,
My kids and grandchildren will remember me with a fondness
That you will never have or understand. No one will weep for you.
Maybe the publican you think is a good friend, a true mate, might.
Truth is, you’re nothing to us but a sad footnote in the family history.
A branch of the family tree I should have pruned years earlier.

—
I don’t think inside the box, I don’t think outside the box, I don’t even know where the box is.

Aspergers Poet
http://www.bob-christian.com

Hans Christian Andersen
The experts go back and forth over whether the beloved writer of such fairy tales as The Little Mermaid and The Ugly Duckling, was autistic or not. Most of those who insist that he appeared somewhere on the spectrum are those who are autistic themselves, and therefore can relate to Andersen on a personal level. For example, Andersen’s diary describes in great length his many bouts of unrequited love for those who were, quite frankly, unattainable. This is a common personal experience for those on the spectrum who can relate, and they also cite the recurring theme of outcast characters in his stories as being a feeling they are familiar with. Most never achieve their sought-after happy endings.

Tim Burton
Is Hollywood director Tim Burton autistic? His long-time partner, Helena Bonham-Carter, seems to think so. At least, she once speculated that he was “possibly autistic” during an interview. While researching an autistic character for a film, Carter claims, she had an “a-ha! moment” and realised that much of her research applied to Burton. Said Carter, “Autistic people have application and dedication. You can say something to Tim when he’s working and he doesn’t hear you. But that quality also makes him a fantastic father; he has an amazing sense of humour and imagination. He sees things other people won’t see.”

Lewis Carroll
There are few historical figures as controversial as the author of the children’s classic Alice in Wonderland. While some of his behaviour, such as continuously seeking out the company of young girls, has made some wonder if the university professor was a paedophile, others use the same information to insist that Carroll was actually autistic. After all, Carroll lived in a different time and place, with far different social customs than those we are used to today. He was also known to be a poor communicator, which was exacerbated by a severe stammer, and it is therefore likely that he found interacting with children much easier. Carroll showed great mathematical ability and even considered himself to be a minor inventor; both common characteristics of those on the spectrum.

Charles Darwin
Trinity College professor Michael Fitzgerald, a leading psychiatrist, researched and published a paper concluding that Charles Darwin had Asperger’s Syndrome. There are records from Darwin’s childhood that state he was a very quiet and isolated child, who avoided interaction with others as much as he could. Like so many others with Asperger’s, he sought alternative ways of communicating, such as writing letters. He had fixations with certain topics like chemistry, but was a very visual thinker — all traits of someone on the autism spectrum.

Paul Dirac
Paul Dirac has repeatedly been referred to as one of the most significant and influential physicists of the 20th century. The Cambridge professor greatly contributed to early quantum mechanics and quantum electrodynamics, and even received the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1933. That Nobel, however, was almost refused by Dirac, who was so reclusive that he didn’t want the publicity. Such shyness is one of many reasons why a large number of people think Dirac may have had some form of autism. Besides his shyness, they cite his intense focus, extreme literal-mindedness, lack of empathy, and his rigid patterns.

Albert Einstein
Perhaps the most famous scientist and mathematician in history, Albert Einstein, had a number of interesting and possibly telling characteristics. For one, he had trouble socialising, especially as an adult. As a child, he experienced severe speech delays and later had a habit of repeating sentences to himself. And of course, he was incredibly technical. Such characteristics have led many experts to conclude that he appeared somewhere on the autism spectrum.

Bobby Fischer
Bobby Fischer, the chess grandmaster and World Chess Champion, is said to have had Asperger’s Syndrome in addition to paranoid schizophrenia and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Fischer was known to be extremely intense, and did not relate well to others thanks to his lack of friendships and poor social abilities. His extreme focus on chess is another sign, as his track record for not being able to cope in an unstructured environment.

Bill Gates
Could Bill Gates, one of the richest men in the world, be autistic? Quite a few autism experts seem to think so! While nothing has ever been confirmed regarding whether or not Gates falls on the spectrum, those who seem to think he is cite things like the distinct rocking motion Gates displays when he concentrates, his shortened and monotoned speech patterns, and his habits of avoiding eye contact on the rare occasion he speaks directly with someone else. These are all common characters of those on the spectrum, and the evidence that Bill Gates may be autistic is quite persuasive.

Daryl Hannah
Daryl Hannah — the beautiful star of films like Splash, Blade Runner, and Steel Magnolias — only came out about her experiences on the autism spectrum about five years ago. Since then, Hannah has been nothing but inspirational as she’s told the honest truth about her challenges with Asperger’s Syndrome. As a child, she rocked herself to self-soothe, and was so shy that once she began acting she refused to give interviews or even attend her own premieres. Though she has mostly learned to control and live with her diagnosis, Hannah has all but left the entertainment industry to focus on environmental issues and other passions.

Steve Jobs
Those who associate Steve Jobs with autism admit that it’s pure speculation, but they are also quick to point out that that speculation has grown more and more mainstream since the Apple genius’s death in 2011. Those who believe Jobs landed somewhere on the spectrum cite such behavioral quirks as his obsession with perfection, his unorthodox ways of thinking, and his general lack of empathy when dealing with others.

Satoshi Tajiri
As a child, Satoshi Tajiri was fascinated by insects and was even nicknamed “Dr. Bug” by other children. As an adult, Tajiri turned that interest into the world-wide phenomenon that is Pokemon — which itself makes him an inspiration to millions of children (and adults!) around the world. But Tajiri is also on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum. Though he confirmed that he does indeed have Asperger’s Syndrome, Tajiri does not talk about it in public, choosing instead to let his many accomplishments speak for themselves

Susan Boyle
If you don’t remember, in 2009 this Scottish woman auditioned for the Britain’s Got Talent, and she touched the world with her mesmerizing voice and instantly became a sensation. After which she never looked back and went onto selling 14 million records around the world.

Until recently, Boyle announced that she was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, through a Scottish specialist – which she called “a relief”

According to her “Asperger’s doesn’t define me. It’s a condition that I have to live with and work through, but I feel more relaxed about myself,” she said in the interview. Now that is what you call a never-dying spirit.

Stanley Kubrick

It seems strange to think that we would be talking about this renowned filmmaker having suffered from Asperger’s syndrome. Though Kubrick does not live among us anymore, his legacy continues.

Kubrick was diagnosed in retrospect by Dr. Michael Fitzgerald along with co-writer Viktoria. They based their diagnosis on the facts on Kubrick’s behavioral traits – like obsessive interests, poor sociability and lack of adaptability towards new things.

Temple Grandin
There may be no autistic person alive today more famous than Temple Grandin. The author and Colorado State University professor didn’t begin speaking until she was almost four years old, and the doctors who diagnosed her recommended she be institutionalised. Fortunately, her parents did not agree with those doctors. Grandin has gone on to become a leading force in animal sciences, has been named one of TIME’s 100 most influential people, and has produced an award-winning biopic about her life. She remains an outspoken advocate in the autism community, and has been unapologetic about her belief that the “characteristics of autism can be modified and controlled.”
Anne Heggerty

Anne, 59, from Wood Green, North London, was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, which is a form of autism, in 2005 after seeing a TV programme about autism and realising she had all of the symptoms. Anne said: ‘For a long time I didn’t know what the problem was but I realised I had trouble multi-tasking.’

“Around about 2003 I happened to see a TV programme about little autistic boys and something about it just kind of clicked. I just thought “There is something about the way those boys are behaving that reminds me of me now, and of me when I was a child.”

“I started researching Asperger’s syndrome and high functioning autism,’ she added. ‘I started reading about it and I thought that’s it! That’s what it’s been ever since I was a child.”

Anne visited a doctor who specialises in people with special needs and told her she had Asperger’s

I must apologise for being away from here for such a long time, but over the last few weeks and months I’ve been so caught up in all my other side projects and other fantastical ideas, that I’ve not really had time to keep you updated with what’s been going on in my life, and ramble on at you here.

Well where do I start? Yes, before you say “the beginning” like a smart-arse – don’t. it’s not funny, big or clever. Although logically, it’s the ideal start point for any story, so let’s begin there. I have been interviewed for a book that is coming out this year – exciting news, and surprising at the same time. I’ve started writing scribbles (poetry if you must) again too.  This was bought about by someone asking me if I still write, and if not, why not.  This prompted me to begin writing again, and I must say that after sending some samples of them to a very good friend in Knoxville, I was told that they were very fierce and aggressive, which was unsurprising as I was listening to angry white guy, Eminem, while writing. I think that might have influenced my writing style somewhat. This same friend also prompted another side project or idea, which I had thought of myself, but ignored. Now, after her confirmation, I’m very keen to pursue this idea. This side project is rap or spoken word to music, maybe. I was told that a lot of my work had a melodic flow that would lend itself to music. Now, anyone who knows me will attest to the fact I’m a tone-deaf, semi-literate space bum (points if you get the reference). I’m not musically talented; I can barely play the spoons! So, I did what all crap musicians like Wand Erection and Just a Beaver do: I used a computer for the back beats, etc.  The results were received with a mixed reaction, so it’s still a side idea – but one I’m keen to pursue in private.

The biggest of my new ideas was brought about by another friend’s suggestion, and a Twitter poll where I asked the Twitterverse if I should consider doing a podcast. This was a huge step for me, as I hate my voice and I have a few other issues, including dyslexia and a stutter when I’m nervous. Anyway, the poll suggested that I should put a podcast together and share my thoughts with the world, so just a week before Christmas, I got my microphone and a bottle of Jack Daniels and decided to waffle into an empty void about Autism and my life on the spectrum.  Well, this was only a 15-20 minute podcast, but it proved a turning point in the game, because after I put it up on Podbean (and then later iTunes), it started to take off.

I was blown away by the messages and kind words from people all over the world, and as a result of this I decided to have another go at it – this time with a script and ideas, etc.  It’s really taken off – people have even asked me to address certain issues.

Alongside this, I’ve been back to Derby to see my family and friends, but most importantly to meet my very first grandchild.  Yes, I’m sure you can’t believe a young handsome guy like me is a grandad! Well, I am and it was a very emotional trip as I had only seen pictures and didn’t know how I would react. These things, and some other bits alongside some personal issues, have meant that I’ve been missing for a while. Well guys, rest assured that I’m back and ready to hit 2018 like the bitch owes me £3,000 and I can’t wait to share it with you all.

Stay Safe X

Around 700,000 people, or more than 1 in 100 in the population, may be autistic,

There is no register or exact count kept. Any information about the possible number of autistic people in the community must be based on studies of distinct and identifiable populations.

The latest studies indicate that 1.1% of the population, or 695,000 people in the UK may be on the autism spectrum. If you think that either you or a loved on is autistic, there are a number of resources online. I found the best one to take is The AQ Test. Just google AQ test

This was created by Psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen and his colleagues at Cambridge’s Autism Research Centre. They have created the Autism-Spectrum Quotient, or AQ, as a measure of the extent of autistic traits in adults. The test contains fifty questions, and the score is obviously out of fifty. The higher your score , the higher the likelihood that you might be Autistic. I could not score lower that 40 on it… Eighty percent of those diagnosed with autism or a related disorder score 32 or higher.

This is possibly the first step to take before speaking to a healthcare professional about a diagnosis of ASD

With me, I was advised by Mrs Bob that she thought I might be on the autistim spectrum and so, at the age of nearly forty, I decided to start looking into the condition. The more I looked into it, the more it started to make sense – more so than my previous two diagnoses, initially of Bipolar Disorder in 2003, after a number of unsuccessful suicide attempts and I was given countless types of medication for that, none of which helped me. The other diagnosis was more serious and harder to remove: this was of schizophrenia, which was also eventually found to beincorrect. I must say that both of these incorrect diagnoses were given by a psychiatrist who was close to retirement and was practically phoning it in. He was utterly disinterested in me as a person or in finding the correct answer for me. As a result of these diagnoses, I struggled with many aspects of my life, but that’s another story for another podcast or my new book,

I took the AQ test as my wife had my piqued curiosity about autism and whether I would fit on the autism spectrum. My score was a scary 44 out of 50, so I took the test quite a few times but couldn’t score lower than a 40 so I decided to speak to my GP about a referral to the local autism team. During this time, I was also referred to a number of therapists and most were unsuccessful until I was finally referred to Art therapist, which was the best thing ever as even though I never did any art I got a lot of talking done about my past. It wasn’t fun but it helped, and my art therapist also suggested that I may be autistic,

Unfortunately, due to the length of the assessment process and the staff it needs for each one, there is a two year waiting time to get an assessment in my area, Plus, once I got a date for an assessment I was told that, due to my age, school and parental reports not being available, it would be difficult to get a diagnosis of autism but that wouldn’t stop them assessing me.

The assessment process consisted of three doctors spending two days talking with me and my wife, interviewing both of us together and then each of us separately. It also involved a battery of tests and questionnaires for me, and after a full day from 10-4pm I was exhausted and was told to come back in a few weeks to do another day of tests and questioning so they could make a diagnosis,

I returned for round two and it was a slightly shorter affair than the first, thankfully. I was told to wait while the three doctors discussed their findings. I was very nervous by this point and not feeling myself at all, when they came back with reams of paperwork, to speak to us both.

They explained that, after looking at all the evidence, they were convinced I had Asperger’s Syndrome, which a form of higher-functioning autism. They sat with me and explained how and why they had come to this conclusion. I was very surprised that after this was explained to me, I became very emotional and teary – it was as if a huge weight had been lifted from me and I felt free. It’s as if all the strange things in my life and my behaviour quirks had finally been justified. I had an answer.

After the dust had settled and I began to come to terms with the diagnosis and it’s meaning, lots of things began to make sense: the depression, the sensory issues, social difficulties, etc.

I’m upset that it took so long to get a diagnosis. If I hadn’t met my wife, who isn’t a clinician in any way, I would probably still be undiagnosed now. It’s also a shame that it takes such a long time from referral to diagnosis, and how many adults who are autistic have not managed to get a referral or worse still are walking around undiagnosed and having to struggle with little or no support. This can lead to such issues as depression and even suicide.

Dr Sue Fletcher-Watson (Centre for Clinical Brain Sciences), along with colleagues at the University of Oslo, has recently published an article in Psychiatry Research dissecting portrayals of autism on film and TV.  They found that representations of autism on screen tend to portray characters that perfectly align with the diagnostic criteria, making portrayals of autism stereotypical, but not true to life. It’s possible that this is contributing to the narrow stereotypes that are generally held by neurotypicals about autism.  In turn, this impacts on the day-to-day experiences of people on the autism spectrum, like me.

So, the research found that autism on screen may reinforce stereotypes. Fictional portrayals of autistic people – such as The Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon Cooper – are not fully representative of those with the condition, and that can cause those with autism some problems. The team from the Universities of Edinburgh and Oslo analysed Sheldon’s character along with a further 25 fictional personalities from TV and film, such as the movies “Adam” or “Mozart and the Whale” as well as characters such as Sheldon on “The Big Bang Theory”, who the public generally believes to be on the spectrum.. They judged each character against the standard criteria that doctors use to diagnose autism, known as the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders or DSM-5; they found that most of the characters displayed at least nine of the 12 defining characteristics of the condition. Yet in reality, this high level of alignment with the diagnostic criteria is rare.

The study published in the journal Psychiatry Research looked at on-screen representations of characters with a stated autism diagnosis

About half of those analysed are portrayed as being a genius or having some other exceptional skill – such as Dustin Hoffman’s character in the 1988 film Rain Man. In reality, the researchers say, fewer than one in three people with autism will have such a skill.  Seeing characters with autism can help increase public awareness, those behind the study noted, but the narrow portrayals may reinforce stereotypes.  From my experience, I think it’s likely.

Dr Sue Fletcher-Watson, of the University of Edinburgh’s Patrick Wild Centre, said: “To deepen public understanding of autism spectrum disorders, we need more autistic characters on our screens. These characters should reflect the diversity we see in real life, rather than being artificially built from a textbook diagnosis of someone with autism.”

A few weeks ago, ABC premiered a new drama called The Good Doctor, about a young surgical resident with high-functioning autism. Dr Shaun Murphy has a traumatic past and many challenges to overcome, but a clear talent for his chosen profession.

He’s also a genius. It says so right there in the promotional trailer for the series. In the first episode, audiences can see the visual representation of his brain working overtime as he taps into a bank of memorised facts and manipulates anatomical diagrams in his head, all before synthesising that information in superheroic fashion during medical crises.

This is not a show I want to watch. I’m tired of what the entertainment business thinks autism looks like—it’s a perception that’s far removed from reality.

The well-known pop culture motif of the “autistic savant” likely started with the release of the film Rain Man in 1988. While savant syndrome is real, it’s actually quite rare—only 10 percent of people with autism are estimated to have savant abilities. But the stereotype has hung around stubbornly since then, appearing in film and television to spread the misconception that autism—despite its varying degrees of impairment—is something that can also bear desirable or even enviable gifts.

That message is damaging in more ways than one. It’s insulting to the large percentage of people on the spectrum without savant abilities, because it implies their stories aren’t as valuable or worth telling. It also promotes the falsehood that an autism diagnosis nearly always comes pre-packaged with extreme giftedness.

With more characters with autism appearing in film and on television, a new study is questioning whether such representations are good or bad for people with the developmental disorder.

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