How do you make time for self-care?

I think the answer is that I’ve finally realised I have to.

We’re usually pretty good at looking after our physical health.

We eat better.

We try to exercise.

We go to the doctor when something hurts.

We know that our bodies need looking after.

But our minds?

That can be a different story.

For me, I’ve learned that I need to make time for my mental health in exactly the same way.

Not when I’ve completely run myself into the ground.

Not when everything has become too much.

Before that.

Because self-care isn’t about being selfish.

It’s about maintenance.

Much like putting fuel in the car before the warning light comes on.

For me, that maintenance comes in a few different forms.

Sometimes it’s a coffee with friends in the market.

Nothing particularly complicated.

Just sitting down, having a coffee, chatting, laughing, putting the world to rights and generally not rushing off somewhere.

There’s something incredibly therapeutic about good company and a decent cup of coffee.

Then there’s my shed.

My little escape from the world.

There’s something about closing the door, sitting down and having some quality downtime that just works for me. Sometimes I’ll write. Sometimes I’ll tinker. Sometimes I’ll do absolutely nothing.

And sometimes doing absolutely nothing is exactly what you need.

Then there’s Sunday.

Beach day.

Mrs Bob and me, heading down to the sea and switching off from the week.

There’s something about the beach that resets me.

The sound of the waves.

The wind.

The smell of the sea.

Just being there.

Not worrying about what needs doing tomorrow.

Not replaying what happened yesterday.

Just being present for a little while.

And, of course, there’s the camera.

I love going out with my camera.

It gives me an excuse to slow down and actually look at the world around me.

A bird.

A tree.

A strange bit of light.

Something that most people might walk straight past.

Photography makes me stop.

Look.

Notice.

And sometimes that’s self-care too.

Then there’s meditation.

Taking a little time to sit quietly, breathe and simply be.

I’m not going to pretend I’ve suddenly achieved some state of perfect enlightenment.

I’m still me.

I still overthink things.

Probably more than I should.

But those quiet moments help me step back from the noise.

And perhaps that’s what all of these things have in common.

They give me space.

Space to breathe.

Space to think.

Space not to think.

Space to be Bob.

I don’t think self-care has to involve expensive retreats, complicated routines or seventeen different types of herbal tea.

Sometimes it’s a coffee with a mate.

Sometimes it’s sitting in a shed.

Sometimes it’s standing in the sea with Mrs Bob.

Sometimes it’s going out with a camera and looking for something beautiful.

Sometimes it’s simply sitting quietly and breathing.

The important thing, for me, is recognising that these things matter.

They aren’t luxuries.

They’re part of maintaining the balance.

Because life can be bloody noisy.

There’s always something that needs doing.

Someone who needs something.

Another email.

Another job.

Another problem to solve.

And if we’re not careful, we can spend all our time looking after everything and everyone else…

…and forget to look after ourselves.

So I make time.

Not because I have loads of spare time.

I don’t.

I make time because I know I need it.

Because my mental health matters just as much as my physical health.

And because I’ve learned that sometimes the best way to keep moving forward…

…is to stop for a while.

Stay safe,

BC