It’s Your First Time Being Alive

What’s the best advice you’d give to someone younger than you?

Don’t worry if, in your twenties, you don’t know where you’re going.

Honestly.

Most of us are making it up as we go along.

There seems to be this unwritten expectation that by a certain age you’re supposed to have everything worked out. A career. A five-year plan. A purpose. A clear idea of who you are and where you’re heading.

Life rarely works like that.

When we’re young, we somehow expect ourselves to have all the answers despite the fact we’ve barely had time to collect the questions.

It’s your first time being alive.

Be kind to yourself.

I didn’t know who I truly was, or what I wanted my life to look like, until I was nearly forty. Looking back, I spent far too much time worrying that I was behind everyone else.

The truth?

Nobody knows what they’re doing quite as much as they pretend to.

And that’s okay.

Because life isn’t really about the final destination anyway.

It’s about the journey.

It’s about the people you meet along the way.

The late-night conversations.

The road trips.

The laughter that leaves your face aching.

The memories you make with friends and family.

Years later, you won’t remember every deadline, every promotion, or everything you thought was a disaster at the time.

You’ll remember the people.

You’ll remember how they made you feel.

You’ll remember the moments.

Another thing I’d tell my younger self is this:

Learn to love yourself.

Not in an arrogant way.

Not in a “look at me” sort of way.

Just learn to be comfortable in your own skin.

Because once you stop trying to be who you think everyone else wants you to be, and start accepting who you actually are, something wonderful happens.

You can breathe.

You stop fighting yourself.

And that feeling is worth more than you can imagine.

I’d also tell you to let go of grudges.

They’re heavy things to carry.

The person who upset you years ago is probably not sitting at home replaying the argument.

Meanwhile, you’re giving them space in your head they haven’t earned.

They don’t deserve to live rent free in there.

Forgiveness isn’t always about them.

Sometimes it’s about freeing yourself.

So be patient.

Be kinder to yourself than you think you need to be.

Take photographs.

Make memories.

Tell people you love them.

Don’t panic if the map isn’t clear.

Most of us are finding the path one step at a time.

And sometimes the scenic route turns out to be the best one.

Stay safe,

BC

Ps Don’t forget to wear sunscreen

Productive-ish


Today was one of those mornings where work didn’t really feel like work.

I headed into town to have a wander around and look at potential locations for an upcoming photography gig for Totnes Pride.

There’s something about photographing an event that makes you look at familiar places slightly differently. Suddenly you’re not just seeing streets, buildings and corners of town, you’re looking for light, angles, backgrounds and those little spots where a photograph might just come together.

Of course, I took the camera with me.

Because apparently I’m incapable of going anywhere without looking at things through a lens these days.

Once the location scouting was done, it was time for the important stuff.

Coffee.

A slow, relaxing coffee morning in the market, with some good friends, and friends I’d just met, absolutely no rushing about and nowhere particularly urgent to be.

And then, as if The Universe hadn’t already delivered enough, a calico cat wandered down the stairs.

Obviously, I had to say hello.

The cat seemed perfectly happy to accept some fuss, so who was I to argue?

Photography locations sorted.

Coffee enjoyed.

Cat fussed.

All in all, not a bad morning.

Sometimes the best days are the ones where you manage to get a little bit of work done…

…and still find time to stop and enjoy the small stuff.

Stay safe,

BC

The lady in question

House Full of Old Cats

If the salary was the same, what job would you be doing right now and why?

This one didn’t take me long to answer.

I’d probably be working with animals.

There was a brief moment where I considered saying giraffes, because I absolutely love giraffes.

There’s something wonderfully ridiculous about them.

They’re basically proof that nature occasionally just makes things up as it goes along.

But then I thought about it properly.

And there was really only one answer.

Cats.

Definitely cats.

More specifically, I think I’d like to run a foster home for elderly and terminally ill cats that are currently in rescue centres.

Because there’s something about the idea that really gets me.

Imagine being an older cat.

You’ve already spent much of your life being someone’s companion. Maybe you’ve known a warm home, a comfortable sofa and someone who loved you.

Then, for whatever reason, you find yourself in a rescue centre.

Surrounded by unfamiliar smells.

Strange noises.

Other cats.

People coming and going.

And perhaps, because you’re old or poorly, nobody chooses you.

Everyone wants the kitten.

The young cat.

The one with years of life ahead of them.

And I understand that.

I really do.

But those older cats still have something to give.

They still have love.

They still have personalities.

They still deserve a warm lap, a comfortable bed and someone to tell them that they are a very good cat approximately seventeen times a day.

So, if money wasn’t the deciding factor, I think that’s where I’d want to be.

I’d have a house full of elderly and terminally ill cats.

There’d probably be blankets everywhere.

Cosy beds in every room.

Furniture specifically chosen according to feline requirements, obviously.

And enough scratching posts to make the place look like a particularly eccentric furniture shop.

And cats.

Lots and lots of cats.

The giraffes might have to wait.

Because what I’d really want to give those cats is something that every living creature deserves.

Comfort.

Not necessarily more time.

Sometimes we simply can’t give them that.

But we can make the time they have left better.

If a cat has only weeks or months left, I’d rather those weeks or months were spent somewhere warm and safe, surrounded by affection, than sitting in a cage because nobody wanted an old or poorly cat.

And perhaps that’s what appeals to me most about the idea.

You wouldn’t be saving every cat.

You couldn’t.

Nobody can.

But you could make a difference to this one.

And then the next one.

And the next.

Sometimes we get so caught up worrying about whether we can change the whole world that we forget we can make one tiny corner of it better.

For one person.

And if I could spend my working day doing that?

Honestly, I think I’d consider myself incredibly lucky.

There’s that saying:

“Find a job you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.”

I’m not sure that’s entirely true.

I suspect cleaning litter trays for twelve elderly cats would occasionally feel very much like work.

But if the reward was knowing that, for however long they had left, those cats were warm, comfortable, loved and safe…

I think I’d cope with the litter trays.

After all, what better way could there be to spend a life than making another life a little bit better?

Even if that life happens to shed fur on absolutely everything.

Stay safe,

BC

The Company We Keep

Who do you spend the most time with?

I’ve noticed that the older I get, the smaller my circle becomes.

During the working day, I spend most of my time with two other people. We’re a close-knit team and, after enough hours together, you end up knowing each other’s habits, quirks, and coffee requirements better than you probably should. 

Outside of work, it’s mostly Mrs Bob and our cat Tiddles (which, for legal reasons and feline dignity, is not actually her name).

Truthfully, I’m not a particularly social creature.

I don’t go out much unless it’s lodge night, Saturday coffee morning, or I’ve wandered off somewhere with a camera looking for birds that refuse to sit still long enough to be photographed. 

And I’m perfectly content with that.

So, who do I spend the most time with?

The people who matter.

Because if I’m choosing to spend lots of time with you when nobody is paying either of us to be there, then you’re probably someone rather special to me.

And these days, that feels like time well spent.

Stay safe,

Bc.