I’ve had a great few weeks, creatively. I feel as if I’m really on form with my scribbles, which is unusual for me. My writing is finally at the stage where I’m just starting to believe the nice things people are saying about my poetry.

Yes, I’m finally starting to see what I do as actual poetry. I’m no Oscar Wilde, Burns or Kipling, though, that’s for sure! Still, I do share a fraternal membership in common with those heavy-hitters of the literary world. – I’m certainly happy with my creative path.

I’ve now turned my head to creating ways of advertising my work, and getting myself out there, not for fame or fortune, but in the hope that I can raise awareness of two things that I have a lot of experience with: Autism and depression.

I’m guessing there have been times in everyone’s lives when you’ve felt sad or low. It might be that, when these feelings arrive, they last for a few weeks and get in the way of day-to-day life. It could be a period of depression, which has a range of symptoms that vary from person to person, and could be mild or really severe.

It’s no different for someone like me, on the Autism spectrum, to deal with depression than a non-autistic person. I’ve done some research, and at least 20% of people in the world will experience a form of depression at some point in their lives. Sadly, it’s even more common in people who are on the Autism spectrum.

In my humble opinion, depression and suicide should be treated much more seriously. That way, it might make its way into books and education curricula everywhere and the message can be repeated over and over to our children and grandchildren that it’s ok to not be ok. We need to make it ok to talk about it.

Stay Safe X

I recently took a 4.5 hour each-way train journey to see my daughter and granddaughter. While it was a fun and exciting trip, it also reminded me of a saying: “not all disabilities are visible” because of some of the comments and ignorant attitudes I was exposed to from (in this particular experience) the older generation.

I got on the train and went to find the seat I’d reserved. I always reserve a seat, even if I’m just going one stop. The seat I had reserved was, by chance, one of the disabled priority seats. Unfortunately, it was being occupied by two older ladies, who were engaged in a loud conversation. Not wanting to cause any disruption, I sat in one of the seats opposite, which also happened to be a disabled priority seat. I got settled and prepared my iPad and my new (awesome) headphones, and was about to press play on Netflix, when I heard one of the women say to her companion “I thought those seats are for disabled people”. I bit my tongue and let it slide, until the conductor came round to check my ticket. I then showed him my e-ticket and announced (rather louder than normal) while showing my railcard, “here’s my disabled persons railcard!” The conductor said thank you and went on his way. The ladies were suitably silenced.

This isn’t the first time I’ve come across this type of attitude. It’s the same as people saying to me. “You don’t look disabled” – which in this day and (supposedly enlightened) age is wrong and damaging.

It can be easy to make certain assumptions about someone from the outside. With autism spectrum disorder, the majority of what is going on is below the surface, much like an iceberg. A smile doesn’t always mean happiness. Illness doesn’t always appear as wheelchair-bound or missing limbs. It can present itself in a number of ways, some of which are not always visible or obvious. That doesn’t mean they are less disabling than a missing limb or blindness, for example

There are numerous people all over the world who are struggling with invisible disabilities. They may also have problems with employment, due to restrictions that may not be obvious to others in the workplace. If you can prove your seemingly invisible disability, then you you may receive help and support.

No one knows how much courage it took for a person to get out of their house that day. Or how how long it took afterwards, to recover from what most people see as a small, minor outing. Should they just become a recluse to avoid the stresses of day to day life? Of course not.

As one of these people with an invisible disability I find that I have to keep providing proof to people when I go out. Even in the workplace, at times. I fortunately have found the courage to face the outside world on a daily basis. I’m not asking for a gold star or a medal for taking part – I, like most of us, just want a level of acceptance and a lack of judgement. For people to realise that having an invisible disability doesn’t mean that the pain or struggle is any less real, just because it’s not visible.

Stay Safe X

I’ve been working on some artwork to go with my Scribbles, it’s nothing special just me trying new ideas.

It’s pretty obvious what this piece might be about. I felt inspired to write about something that happened many years ago, but I won’t expand any further on the subject. I’m proud of this verse, which I wrote today. I hope you enjoy it.

Two Sides (Return To Sender)

You said…

I was punching above my weight.

Truth is, the fight was fixed.

One hand tied behind my back,

Referee turning a blind eye

While you repeatedly

delivered low blows.

You said…

I was reaching, while you settled.

Truth is, the relationship

Was sinking. I was clinging to

The wreckage of second best.

You reaching up to your ex

On his pedestal.

You said..

I had lots of relationship issues.

Truth is, you just hid yours better.

You packed them up neatly –

Emotional baggage by

Louis Vuitton. Same problems

Classier façade.

You said …

I’d never find anyone like you.

Truth is, I’m glad that I didn’t.

(C) Bob W Christian 2020

Here is one of my latest scribbles. In the Christian household, we have never really done Valentine’s Day on the 14th. We choose to do it on the 12th instead.

This isn’t some anti- Hallmark protest sentiment – rather, it’s to mark the passing of a wonderful man, Mrs Bob’s beloved father. He left us only three months before I met Mrs Bob and we are both very sad that I never got to meet him. Mrs Bob likes to think that his energy might have somehow influenced our meeting …

Yesterday, I was sat at home listening to my music, while Mrs Bob watched something on TV that didn’t interest me. I started scribbling about her, and a few minutes later I had this (at the time untitled) piece.

I’d like to dedicate this one to my late father-in-law, and to my beloved Mrs Bob on the anniversary of her losing her adored dad. Love you xx

Stay Safe X

Let Me by Bob W Christian (c) 2020

I just want you to know
When you’re feeling down
I’m lifting you back up.

Let me show you what
You’ve never had – a sense
Of love and protection.

Let me show how love’s
Supposed to be; you’ll
Feel it as intensely as me.

Let me show you the true
Beauty I see with my eyes,
When you’re blinded by life.

Let me love you for all our
Lifetimes. Grow old while
Never ageing, for an eternity.

Bob W Christian #Ap

In the near future, I will be appearing in a podcast to discuss Autism, poetry, and all things Bob. I’m not sure if I can mention the podcast yet, but I thought it might be a good idea to ask you lovely people if there are any questions you’d like me to answer.

So if there’s anything you’d like to know about me, why not drop me an email to AspergersPoet@gmail.com or message me on FB, Twitter or Instagram.

Let’s have some fun with this and be creative.

Stay Safe X

Prosopagnosia, also called face blindness, is a cognitive disorder of face perception in which the ability to recognise familiar faces, including one’s own face (self-recognition), is impaired. Other aspects of visual processing, (such as object discrimination), and intellectual functioning, (such as decision-making), remain intact.

While the above is not a core symptom of autism, it’s a very common trait within those people diagnosed with ASD. The ability to ‘read’ the information about facial identity, expressed emotions, and intentions is crucial for non‑verbal social interaction, which is something I have a great deal of difficulty with. Even after spending years in the service industry to try and learn all these subtle little hints and tips, I still struggle to read and recognise faces.

For those of us who suffer with this neurological disorder, negotiating social situations can be very difficult. Prosopagnosia can make the sufferer blind to all but the most familiar faces. I find that I recognise regular customers by face after a while, but some customers who come in every once in a blue moon I don’t recognise or mistake them for someone else. This can lead to comments such as “don’t you remember me?” or “you asked me for ID last time”. On that note, I do have great difficulty in telling if someone is over 21 when ordering alcohol and I tend to err on the side of caution. This can cause some embarrassment, or laughter over perceived flattery. On one occasion, I was almost threatened with violence as the lady was so angry I’d dare to ask her for proof of age. She was apparently 26.

There might be coping mechanisms, like using alternative strategies to recognise people, such as remembering the way they walk, or their hairstyle, voice or clothing. I tend to find voices are a good one for me, as that tends not to change very much. There are a number of other issues that face blindness causes, such as: not being able to recognise certain facial expressions, judge a person’s gender, or follow a person’s gaze. Some people (in extreme cases) may not even recognise their own face in the mirror or in photos. Prosopagnosia can affect a person’s ability to recognise objects, such as places or cars. Many people also have difficulty navigating. This can involve an inability to process angles or distance, or problems remembering places and landmarks. Following the plot of films or television programmes can be almost impossible for someone with prosopagnosia because they struggle to recognise the characters. Someone with prosopagnosia may worry that they appear rude or not interested when they fail to recognise a person. But these types of strategies do not always work – for example, when a person with prosopagnosia meets someone in an unfamiliar location.

So as you can see, there are a lot of similarities between face blindness and ASD as they’re both neurological conditions although medically they’re completely different. So the next time someone like me struggles to recognise you, or asks your age, please spare a thought for them. They could have Prosopagnosia, or be on the autism spectrum.

Stay Safe X

Looks like you’re going to need your umbrella ella ella (sorry) because as you can see, it’s still raining on the this pity party parade.

Rainy Day Parade Vol 2

By Bob Christian

You need to stop crying ’bout

The game of life, ‘n’ how you’re  

Losing at it – kinda shit at it.

“Dad used to hit me”? Please. 

I had leather belts, fists, welts.

Told you last time. I wrote the

Book on abandonment issues,

Dearie. Want me to pass the 

Tissues? Dry those crocodile 

Tears? Fears of being lonely?

I’ve thrown you yet another

Rope. I hope you don’t claim 

I tried to hang you with it. 

Even your mother’s done 

With your lies – huge fallacies.

Just STOP telling these horror 

Stories. Your mask’s falling off;

It’s dropping, like your credibility. 

The darkness you claim surrounds

You, is home to me. It’s where I was

Created, years ago.  Yet you ignore

My hand, reaching out so many

Times, to pull you in. Back to

Safety. Maybe you just prefer

The cold and darkness?

Well that’s great. I got up this morning and my spine decides to get a mood on, leaving me in a lot of pain and discomfort and losing some sensation in my left leg. This normally wouldn’t bother me too much, as I’m used to it – it’s been an issue since I had a motorcycle accident in Nov ’03. I woke up the following day in hospital and since then it’s been a regular companion and problem in my life.

The issue is that I had a wedding to attend and a visit to see my daughter and my beautiful little granddaughter. I only get to see my granddaughter occasionally, although we do regularly video chat with her and my daughter. This wedding was a great chance to catch up on Mrs Bob’s family from up country. So you can imagine how fucked off I am to be laid up, whacked out of reality on some strong-ass prescription pain relief and muscle relaxants. I’m angry as hell because I’ve planned every little bit of the trip. Car serviced, once overed, then my body gives out on me. Folds faster than superman on laundry day, leaving me feeling like I’ve let down so many people. To my daughter, granddaughter, Mrs Bob & her family I’m very sorry.

Stay Safe X

While I had some downtime at Geek Towers this week, Mrs Bob suggested I try something new. No, no, nothing like that, you filthy lot! She suggested I try to start a Patreon page to share my latest scribbles and whatnot.

I must say, I was unsure about this new direction, but having had a look and done my research, it does seem like a new way forward for me as a brand. I’m still going to keep blogging, raising awareness and the roof, but the difference is I’ll be dropping some of the freshest, slickest verses I’ve ever written (according to others) each month, on my Patreon page.

So, if you’d like to see my new work, plus random behind the scenes, pictures & videos and a chance to get a mention on all my future book releases, then click the link below and help support an Aspie as I try to raise autism awareness…and hopefully have a few laughs too, who knows.

Love to you all.

Stay Safe X

Patreon (The Aspie Poet)