We had a mammoth (4.5hrs instead of 3) trip back home yesterday evening and all the stress of a long drive and the monotony of motorway driving. This is something I hate for a number of reasons. One – I dislike motorway driving; it’s monotonous and tedious.. Two – I find that the noise from my car on the motorway and the other traffic noises and various other noise can be a little stressful.  This is why on long journeys I tend to have the radio on quietly or an audiobook playing.

So last night we arrived back home later than expected and we were all tired except my daughter, who works a night shift and is used to it (plus I’m sure she was sleeping in the back of the car!). So I outsourced the evening meal (Chinese take out) as I haven’t had a Chinese in a month or so and cracked open a bottle of vanilla vodka. I don’t normally drink at all.  In fact, anyone that knows me will tell you I drink once in a blue moon. This mainly stems from my  biological father, who was a very heavy drinker.  The less said about him, the better.  I call my stepfather “Dad”.

So now I have my comfy clothes on and I’m very well fed and relaxed and having a great conversation with my bestie.  I don’t trust many people – I have possibly 3 friends down here: my club’s VP, who I can have a laugh with as he is only 23 and knows I’m an Aspie but I don’t confide in him. Then there’s a guy who I know who has a family member with certain ASD traits.  He is a lot older than me but knows my secret and helps me out a lot. Then there’s my bestie, who knows a lot about me – more than I have let anyone know before.

Then I saw that Bridget Jones’ Diary was on the TV, so it was time to settle down with Mrs Bob and some great television. I don’t know why, but Renee Zelwegger as Bridget Jones is very, very attractive. This was a perfect way to end a very  busy day. Today I have spent time with my daughter –  shopping and relaxing. Then as the weather has been very wet and cold we have sat and watched Netflix, Amazon etc and just had a nice day at home. The day almost has a nice autumnal feeling to it as if winter is coming….

Stay Safe X

Well after the events of the last crazy few days in my life, I’ve realised that it’s at  times like this that I wish I was an NT and not an Aspie.

I had some leave planned for the end of this week to travel across country for a couple of days, so as I write this I’m nicely tucked up in a huge comfy bed in a hotel where the staff and owners are friendly and the food is great. I mean come on, a mixed grill!  Who (apart from vegetarians) doesn’t like one? It’s an assortment of meat on a plate instead of just one. Add in that in our room, the bath is huge and I know this because I could fit in a big hot bath after a long day.

I spent yesterday with my Mum & Dad, whom I haven’t seen for a long time (since Christmas) and my dad has been very ill recently.  We nearly lost him earlier in the year, which really put things into perspective for me. I don’t tell my parents I love them, but I’m sure they know I do. I did text my dad to explain how I feel before he had life-threatening/saving surgery. I can’t tell people these things, I find it really hard. But this really taught me a lesson, which is please, please tell that family member how you feel. I thought I had  left it too late and it eat away at me. I’m going to spend today with my younger daughter – maybe gossip, shopping and a meal, while Mrs Bob is working.  Then we have the long trip back home with my other daughter.

It also made me appreciate my friends more.. I really owe my best mate a drink when I see her next. She has been a true friend and given me help and advice – even if I’ve not taken it, it’s still appreciated. As I’ve not seen her for nearly a week, I have noticed how much I miss her.

It should be a nice day with my grown up daughter and a catch up with old friends in my home town, so happy days.

Stay Safe X

Why doesn’t life have a snooze button? This is a question that I often find myself asking when I’m feeling as drained as I am right now. Let’s rewind a little shall we, and start at the beginning (as good a place as any right?).

I have been working all week and we have been really busy. This is nothing new – I’m getting home late and by the time I’ve eaten and relaxed with Mrs Bob it’s time to sleep. My brain needs a while to shut down enough to sleep and it’s usually late by the time it’s done so. This is fine, but I’m then woken up from 0530hrs onwards by my cat and other things.

During a normal week I get two days off to recuperate and recharge my batteries not only from the sleep deprivation but also the effects that having to be social has on my health.  This may sound far-fetched, but I find that as an Aspie, I can engage in small-talk and friendly chat, but it takes a lot out of me emotionally and physically.

One day this week I had a busy day scheduled as I had press passes for a ComicCon that was an hour away from my home. This meant an early start so I could be there when the doors opened. I find that you can get interviews, photos, etc, done before if gets really busy and so peopley that I can’t cope.

So, a very early start after late night.  I did the ComicCon then came home for an hour or so, then headed off to work On my own. Then by the time I’ve walked back, eaten, etc, it was 01.35am.  Then I was woken at 05.30, 07.20 and 08.42.

So now I’m drained, not able to process things properly and don’t have another day off work til next week.  I’m wondering why life has no snooze button!

Stay Safe X

It occurred to me recently that with the numbers increasing on my blog that I would just give my social media pages a shout.

Facebook Page

Twitter Page

E mail me

I have been thinking more and more recently about how much exercise I get (or don’t get).  I used to go to the gym 3-4 times a week, but now with being at work so much, I just don’t have the time. I also used to enjoy walking in the woods and being very outdoorsy. This has all taken a back seat now and I’m left wondering if it’s too late.  Now I’m getting on a bit, I’m realising that I’m not as physically attractive as I used to be.  I notice little things like the beer belly (I don’t even drink beer) my baldness, though I like having a shaven head – it suits me. I’m just getting to the point where I really should act and dress my age. My friends all dress respectably when they are socialising; I’m the only guy in jeans t-shirt and skate shoes. I find it comfy to dress that way, but I can dress smartly when it’s needed.  I love wearing a suit for a formal “do”.

I’m very curious as to whether it’s an Aspie thing to not act or dress your age, and whether it’s also an Aspie thing to be very over-critical of yourself. Or am I having a bad day due to lack of sleep and other things?

Stay safe X

I had a day off today, which was nice as the weather was perfect.  It’s been a shorts and t-shirt day and I’ve been working on more poetry, maintaining my geeky website and playing online games.

This was a needed day off, as yesterday I had a very difficult day.  My colleagues said I had changed in the time they’d known me, as I wouldn’t look them in the eye when they first met me.  I so wanted to explain that it’s part of being an Aspie, but I didn’t know if that would be taken the wrong way. i didn’t pick up that someone had said something sarcastic to me, and, as with most Aspies, I just done understand sarcasm.  I do take things very literally.  I’m not sure how to learn to tell when someone is being sarcastic… it’s a mystery to me.

Stay safe X

After a conversation with a colleague yesterday where they looked at my face and proceeded to read my emotional state completely wrongly, I got to thinking that it’s not just us Aspies that can’t read facial expressions – most NT’s (neurotypical) can’t read us either. Why is that?

I’m told that we Aspies have unusual, misleading or inappropriate facial expressions. I do a lot of time, mainly because I’m lost in thought or my face is reacting to something in my head. I’m not trying to copy the NT facial expressions, my brain is passing information and making connections. Figuring out what was said, etc, I have to do all this with various other things going on in my head, before I can react “appropriately”.  But the reaction isn’t a natural one, it’s one I have to work out to go with the conversation. I haven’t totally mastered it, because it’s like learning a foreign language.

So, in the interests of science, I want to try an experiment to show how NT’s can do what we can’t, and vice versa.

The link below is for a recognised test where all you have is a set of eyes and four emotions to pick from! Can you link the emotional state to the eyes.

Social Intelligence Test

Stay safe X

While I work on my new book I thought I would treat you to a sneak peak of some of my work.

Happy Sunday everyone

Stay safe X

Home Movie

We remember it like
It happened yesterday
We fondly reminisce

Those tweets and texts
Stolen moments, shared
They still raise a smile.

The moment we met
That tune was playing
All part of the soundtrack…

We had Skype, emails, texts
To keep us connected
Between the hugs and kisses

We finally moved in together
Making this a lovely home
With our one-eyed cat

If you don’t believe me, dear,
Ask your mother later on.
We both giggle so fondly.

It’s all like one big film
The highs and lows
This one has had them all.

“One star – too free thinking”
Daily Mail

“Five stars – freaking awesome”
K Magazine

The only thing left is a question
21 December 2013: Will you press record
and make our eternal home movie?

Well it was a very hectic day yesterday at work. I was not feeling quite right (see yesterday’s blog entitled Sleep) so I guessed the day would be a challenge. Little did I know that my regular partner in crime was also not feeling her best. So we were both going to have a challenging time of it.

I must point out that my colleague is one of the best members of staff to have in your corner when it stupidly busy. She is quick, resourceful, witty and very clever. We work together like a well-oiled machine.  I can rely on her totally, and like to think she can rely on me.

What I’m trying to say in a round about way, is that I realise I need friends. My colleague is a friend, and makes me laugh, smile and also realise that at times NTs do these things and not just us Aspies.  My friend has really taken the time to get to know me and to make me feel like less of an outsider (like all the other staff) and more like a real person. There are times when I wish I could say “thank you” for this to her,  but I’m guessing she knows.  Plus it could make things weird, and I don’t want to do that at all.  I really struggle with knowing what is acceptable and what isn’t in this situation.  I don’t want to give anyone the wrong idea!

I hope you all find friends like mine in your journey through this life. Stay true to yourself, and….

Stay safe X

Today I’m left wondering about wheather, and how, sleep can affect the way I am and the way I interact with the world. I’m left wondering this after I had about 6 hours sleep (that’s nothing new) and was woken by my alarm clock of the furry variety. This in itself is not an issue.  What was an issue was the fact that while I was still half asleep. I had Mrs Bob cuddling me and talking to me.

I know I shouldn’t complain at having such a loving wife, but it just felt like too much stimulation for my half-firing neurons to cope with. Since then, I have tried to sleep as I was still tired and have to work today. I managed to get another hour but now I’m not feeling myself – I’m crabby and impatient and my neurological functions seem slower. I’m not tired, I just don’t seem to be working right.

This led me to wonder if it was the amount of sleep we get or if the way we were brought out of that sleep was the responsible for this result. It’s time to science this.

stay safe X