If I could live as someone else for a single day, I’d choose to be my wife, Mrs Bob. Not for the novelty of stepping into another life, but for the chance to understand myself through the eyes of the person who loves me most. She carries a version of me that I don’t always recognise — one shaped by patience, affection, deep love and a kind of steady belief that I sometimes struggle to feel for myself.

There are moments when I doubt; when I fall short in my own mind; when I can’t quite see what’s worth loving. Yet she does. She always does. Spending a day as her would let me witness the small things I overlook, the quiet ways I matter, the reasons she stays close even when I’m not at my best. It would be a chance to see myself without the fog of self‑critique, to understand the warmth behind her choices, and to appreciate the version of me that she holds on to.

One day in her shoes wouldn’t just teach me about her — it would teach me about the parts of myself she’s been seeing clearly all along.

What started as a simple favour for a mate quickly turned into one of those projects that becomes a story you tell for years. My friend William had just converted his garage—thanks to a bit of collective elbow grease—into a bar/lounge complete with DJ kit and the obligatory smoke machine. Naturally, the next step was a new shed to store everything that no longer fit in the garage-turned-nightclub.

The only problem? The local hardware superstore didn’t stock anything close to the size he wanted. So we shrugged, looked at each other, and decided: Fine, we’ll build one ourselves.

We hired the kit, prepped the ground, and poured a concrete base before the mountain of timber and materials arrived. There was a lot of it—far more than any of us expected—but that became part of the fun. Over two weekends we grafted, laughed, sank a few beers, and even entertained ourselves by shooting empty cans with the nail gun (not recommended, but undeniably satisfying). Each day ended with a BBQ and a bit of a party, because what’s the point of a DIY project if you can’t celebrate the chaos?

The best part? Twenty years on, that shed is still standing strong—watertight, sturdy, and now fully kitted out with running water and electricity. Not bad for a couple of weekends’ work and a group of friends who mostly just wanted an excuse to hang out.

If I could erase a single word from everyday language, it would be one of those slurs designed solely to wound — the kind of word that has no purpose except to dehumanize. Every culture has at least one. You don’t need me to repeat it; you already know the one that makes your stomach tighten when you hear it.

What makes these words so corrosive isn’t just their history, though that history is heavy. It’s the way they linger in the air long after they’re spoken, how they can turn a room cold in an instant. A slur isn’t just a collection of letters. It’s a weapon. It’s a reminder of violence, exclusion, and the idea that some people are “less than.”

Language evolves — beautifully, creatively, chaotically — but hate‑words don’t evolve. They calcify. They drag the worst parts of our past into the present. And while banning a word won’t magically fix the systems or attitudes that created it, removing it from casual usage would at least take away one of the easiest tools for causing harm.

Imagine a world where the laziest form of cruelty simply… didn’t exist. Where people had to confront their prejudice without the shortcut of a single toxic syllable. That’s a world I’d like to help build.

Words shape reality. So if I get to ban one, I’ll choose the kind that was never meant to build anything at all.

If I’m being straight with myself, the real climb isn’t the making — it’s the being seen.
The words, the images, the quiet little fragments I gather… those come naturally enough.
It’s the next part — holding them out to the world — that feels like standing on the edge of something high and uncertain.

The next six months are going to test me more than the work ever has.
Not in the writing or the photography, but in the courage it takes to let them go.
To place them in front of the people whose opinions actually matter to me,
the ones who can spot the difference between something honest
and something merely tidy.

I’ve been trying to catch the small stories most folks step over —
the stillness in a doorway,
the echo of a day that didn’t quite go to plan,
the emotional dust that settles when no one’s looking.
But none of it truly breathes until it’s met by another pair of eyes,
another heart that recognises the shape of it.

So this season is about stepping out from behind my own hesitation.
Sharing the work with intention rather than apology.
Finding the rooms, the circles, the people
where these pieces might actually land and not just fall.

Visibility isn’t vanity.
It’s the simple, stubborn hope of connection.
And connection is what I’m after —
one photograph, one poem,
one small act of bravery at a time.

Hey you,

I know things feel overwhelming right now. You’re trying so hard to make sense of a world that doesn’t always make sense back. But trust me—life gets better. 

You grow into yourself in ways you can’t imagine yet. You find language for things that have felt confusing for years.

And here’s the part no one tells you: you’re autistic. You won’t learn that until much later, but when you do, everything finally clicks. It’s not a flaw. It’s not something to fix. It’s simply who you are—and it’s why you see the world the way you do. 

Hang in there. You’re going to be okay. More than okay, actually.

—Future Bob

My pet peeves are

1. People who are intentionally ignorant. When, I say that, I mean people who can’t/wont look things up, and would rather live in ignorance. Or they won’t listen, or change their views when presented with scientific proof that refutes their perspective.
2. Saying things like “Everyone’s a little autistic, or “Autism wasn’t around when I was younger”, or some such ableist nonsense. It demeans and belittles my life experience, as an autistic adult. It was around, it just wasn’t known about, or diagnosed.
3. When someone takes the time to either explain my poetry to me, or tries to tell me that I need to change it, as it’s clearly about them. If that were the case, believe me, they’d have no doubt.

Also under number 2 – when people try to counter your feelings of chronic or suicidal depression with such verbal antidepressants as “Cheer up” or “You just need to think happy thoughts”.

This is an interesting question, and as there’s only three of us in our household, I feel that it’s only fair (and democratic) that we each choose one of the meals.

Mine has to be a home-made (gluten free) lasagne with salad and chips (fries). I’ve always loved it, since I can remember. There’s no nostalgic reason behind it, I just love it. (Side note: it’s the one dish where you can put one on top of another, and you still only have one lasagne).

Mrs Bob. Her favourite is home made cottage pie. That’s the British kind… made with minced beef, not lamb, as that would be shepherds pie. She makes hers with a slight twist of a tomatoey type. With cabbage, carrots and runner beans.

Noodles. No question, hers is FEEEESH. Frozen white fish fillet. She has one microwaved and cooled every morning without fail. And she knows the word Fish too….

What are your favourites?

This is a very tough choice to be honest and it boils down to a toss up between two 80s cartoons that I remember as a child.

The first one has seen a massive rise in popularity over the years due to rebooting the toys and cartoons, then the big screen treatment courtesy of Michael Bay.

I still have a couple of the original G1 toys and I still have the complete animated series and original animated movie on VHS (what we had in the days before) fortunately I don’t need to explain the premise as it’s still a popular franchise in 2025.

The other cartoon was another Gen X Saturday morning show, or more during school holidays. It was called M.A.S.K (mobile armoured strike kommand) who had vehicle that transformed from say a motorcycle to a helicopter etc. MASK were the good guys fighting V.E.N.O.M (vicious evil network of mayhem) it was a cheesy cartoon created by Kenner to sell their action figures. Which I still have a couple of that I always wanted as a kid, tucked away safely.

Honourable mention

I can’t write about 80’s cartoons without giving a shout out to one of the other classics, whose action figures I got one year for Christmas. He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. This was a quintessential 80’s cartoon action figure tie in by Mattel. This is another series that has been rebooted a few times. Including by the legendary Kevin Smith (Silent Bob) it was a tale of good He-Man and evil Skelator. Set on the planet Eternia.

I’ve performed on stage many times at various poetry open mic nights and at a few literary festivals also, despite stage fright and all the joys of being neurodivergent. When I did perform I found that I couldn’t sleep, eat (or keep food down) due to the anxiety that it caused.

I tried a trick that Roy Orbison used to use to battle his crippling stage fright, (not that I’m in the same league as him) sunglasses. You see they create a barrier between you and the audience. This works extremely well and I used it right up until the pandemic as a strategy to cope with the stage lights (eyes are v sensitive to bright light) and other people. Unfortunately after that I decided that the anxiety’s effects both physical and mental were becoming too much, so I now settle for just writing poetry that appears in magazines, books and websites globally. This way I can still create some really great poetry and it reaches an even bigger audience without the health issues. I do miss performing and I hope one day to be able to return to the stage. Until then most of my (unpublished) work an be found on here.

There’s nothing that bores me…

Really?

Yes, because If you’re bored, it could mean you’re not in the right place, or doing something that excites you. 

Boredom isn’t just about lacking excitement—it’s a neurochemical signal, a reminder to yourself that you might be missing out on a chance for growth.

Like for instance, finding the answers to any of those question you have. 

Like how many penguins would fit into a limousine?

(81 incase you wondered) 

The speed of light in miles per second.

186,282.4 

You see where I’m going. 

If you’re bored, ask a question. 

Anything.