The Right Book at the Right Time

What’s a piece of media (book, movie, song) that changed how you see the world?

This is a very tough choice, truth be told.

There’s obviously The Watchmen, my first ever graphic novel, which started a lifelong love affair with comic books that’s still going strong today.

Then there’s String Theory for Dummies, the book that accidentally sparked a conversation with what is now Mrs Bob.

Both of those deserve posts of their own, and I’m fairly sure I’ve rambled about them before.

But if I had to choose the one piece of media that genuinely changed the direction of my life, it would be…

Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner by Scott Cunningham.

This book came into my life at exactly the right moment.

At the time, my life was an absolute mess. I was going through a particularly nasty breakup, carrying around a lot of anger, hurt and resentment. Looking back, I also realise I was an autistic man who hadn’t yet been diagnosed, trying to make sense of emotions I simply didn’t have the tools to process.

Then someone showed me kindness.

A witch, who had once found comfort in the very same book herself, passed it on to me.

It wasn’t a book about casting spells that changed me.

It was a book about responsibility.

About balance.

About understanding that every action has consequences.

The lesson that has stayed with me happened shortly afterwards.

My ex broke into my home, took a lot of our belongings and trashed much of what she left behind.

The old me would probably have jumped in the car, driven straight over there and made the whole situation infinitely worse.

Instead, something clicked.

For the first time, I understood that anger wouldn’t repair my home.

It wouldn’t replace what had been stolen.

It wouldn’t heal what had happened.

All it would do was make me ill, and give the people who had hurt me the satisfaction of knowing they’d got exactly the reaction they wanted.

Walking away wasn’t weakness.

It was peace.

That one lesson changed everything.

It led me to read more about Wicca, which in turn eventually led me towards Mahāyāna Buddhism. Although they’re very different paths, both encouraged me to slow down, look inward and understand that my mental and physical wellbeing are deeply interconnected.

Those philosophies helped me become a calmer person.

A happier husband.

A better father.

A better grandfather.

They’ve also influenced the way I write, the way I see people, and the compassion I try to show others.

Without that one book…

Without the kindness of the woman who first placed it into my hands…

I honestly don’t know where I’d be.

There’s every chance I’d have let my anger make decisions for me.

And when anger starts making your decisions, the ending is rarely a good one.

Sometimes the books that change your life aren’t the bestselling novels or the classics everyone studies at school.

Sometimes they’re simply the right book…

Arriving at exactly the right time.

Stay safe,

Bc

Be Careful What You Rewrite

If you could change the ending of any book, which one would it be?


Honestly, none of them.

Changing the ending sounds simple enough, but stories are a bit like dominoes. Nudge the last piece and, sooner or later, you discover you had to move all the others too.

To reach a different ending, you’d have to change the journey that led there.

Which raises two questions:

A) Would it still be the same book you’d fallen in love with?

B) Could one small change create a plot twist so drastic that the story ends early—or never happens at all?

It’s the literary version of the butterfly effect.

Change the ending, and you might just change everything that made the story worth reading in the first place.

Stay safe,

Bc

Kein Fluent, Kein Problem

Which languages do you speak and how did that impact your life?

If I’m being honest, I’m not exactly what you’d call a natural linguist.

At school, I struggled with French. Not in a poetic “language is difficult but rewarding” way — more in a “this is not sticking no matter how many times I look at it” way. I dropped it as soon as I was allowed to and never really felt the need to revisit it.

For a while, that was the end of the story.

But then life, as it tends to do, started involving travel.

And when you travel, you eventually realise there are two types of English tourists:

The first speaks only English, slowly and loudly, as if volume is the missing translation layer.

The second attempts a heavily overacted version of the local language, usually with an accent that makes things worse rather than better.

I’ve tried not to be either.

So over time, I started doing something much more modest: learning just enough of a language to not be completely useless when I arrive somewhere.

Norwegian, Italian, Icelandic — the usual holiday mix. Nothing fluent. Nothing impressive. Just enough phrases to order food, say thank you, and avoid looking like I’ve just landed from another planet expecting everyone to accommodate me.

What I found is that people don’t really expect perfection.

They notice effort.

In Norway, for example, I’d try a few badly assembled sentences and get the same reaction almost every time — a brief smile, a correction, and then a switch into perfect English. Sometimes better English than I could manage in my own language before coffee.

But that wasn’t really the point. The point was never fluency. It was participation. Even clumsy participation counts.

Then lockdown happened.

Like a lot of people, I started picking up random new things just to keep the brain occupied. I chose German. No grand reason at the start — it just interested me.

Then I discovered something unexpected: a German relative in the family history, a POW who later married into the family. That shifted it slightly. It stopped being just vocabulary and turned into something with a bit more weight behind it. History you can’t really ignore once you’ve seen it.

I paused for a while, then picked it back up again about two years ago.

I’m still not fluent. I’m not even close. But I can get by if I need to. I think. At least in theory.

And if I’m completely honest, that’s probably where it ends.

It hasn’t changed my life in any dramatic way. I haven’t suddenly become multilingual. I haven’t unlocked some secret version of myself who navigates Europe effortlessly chatting to locals in perfect dialects.

It’s just… there.

A skill in the background. A small advantage that may or may not ever get properly used unless I spend more time in Germany.

There is one unintended side effect, though.

Working with people from all over the world over the years has given me something far less structured than language ability — a patchwork collection of swear words and rude phrases in multiple languages. Completely unplanned. Entirely unofficial. And somehow, far more memorable than anything I’ve learned in a classroom.

So no, I don’t speak multiple languages fluently.

But I’ve learned enough to show willing, enough to get by, and enough to understand that most communication isn’t really about grammar anyway.

It’s about effort. Timing. And not shouting English at people as if it eventually becomes understandable if you increase the volume enough.

Stay safe

Bc

Father’s Day Isn’t About Biology, It’s About Showing Up

Today is Father’s Day here in the UK, and I’d like to use my little corner of the internet to give a huge shout-out to a man who is technically my stepfather.

Although, after nearly forty years of being there, I think we can safely dispense with the “step” part.

Because here’s the thing.

Anyone can create a life and become a dad.

But it takes a different kind of man to step into a child’s life and choose to stay. To take on the responsibility, the worry, the sacrifices, the school runs, the advice, the support, and all the other things that come with raising children who aren’t biologically your own.

That takes character.

It takes commitment.

And it takes love.

The older I get, the more I realise that fatherhood isn’t defined by DNA. It’s defined by presence. By consistency. By being the person who turns up, day after day, year after year, regardless of whether anyone notices or says thank you.

My stepfather did exactly that.

Not only did he help raise me, but he also became the only grandad my own children have ever known. He’s been there through the milestones, the celebrations, the challenges and the ordinary moments that, when you look back, turn out to be the ones that mattered most.

The truth is that parenting can often feel like a thankless job. You invest your time, energy and heart into other people and rarely stop to count the cost. Most of the time you simply get on with it because that’s what love does.

So today, I want to say thank you.

Thank you for sticking around.

Thank you for stepping up.

Thank you for treating me as your own.

And thank you for showing my children what a grandfather looks like.

Father’s Day should be about celebrating the men who choose to be present, whether they are fathers, stepfathers, grandfathers, foster parents or father figures. The title matters far less than the impact.

And finally, a quick nod to all the fur parents out there too. The dog walkers, the cat feeders, the sofa sharers and the treat dispensers. I see you.

Happy Father’s Day to all those who show up, stick around and make a difference.

Stay safe

Bc

Becoming the Men Who Built Me

There’s a strange thing that happens as you get older.

You spend most of your youth trying desperately to become your own person — carving out your own identity, your own voice, your own little corner of the world. 

You swear blind you’ll never become your parents, never pick up the odd habits of your grandparents, never start saying things like:

“Don’t leave that light on, it’s like Blackpool illuminations in here.”

And then one day…

You catch yourself doing exactly that.

For me, it happened in the shed.

Now, if you’ve read my ramblings before, you’ll know there’s always a shed somewhere in the story. Like some recurring side character that quietly steals the scene. But sheds aren’t really about wood and nails and rusty hinges, are they?

Not really.

They’re memory boxes.

Little sanctuaries built out of timber, silence, and inherited habits.

When I was younger, both my grandads had sheds — though, much like the men themselves, they were completely different worlds.

My maternal grandad, Walter was a  retired firefighter and gentleman of the old school variety, had a shed that smelled of compost, damp wood, and honest work. Plant pots stacked everywhere. Garden canes leaning in corners. Twine, tools, and jars full of screws that “might come in useful one day.”

There was always an old bit of carpet on the floor.


Always a greenhouse nearby.
Always tomatoes growing somewhere.

His shed wasn’t tidy by modern standards, but it made sense in the way only a working man’s shed can. Every object had a purpose. Every scratch and stain told a story.

And him?

He was happiest there.

Not because it was an escape from life —
but because it was life.

Quietly creating.
Quietly fixing.
Quietly tending.

Then there was my paternal grandfather Sydney — a former Rolls Royce engineer with the larger-than-life personality and a shed that felt more like a workshop for some eccentric inventor. Freezers, tools, cables, bits of machinery, shelves packed with things no child understood but instinctively believed were important.

He approached life like an engineer and a comedian trapped in the same body.

One minute he’d be discussing something technical enough to launch a rocket, and the next he’d be making ridiculous noises or blowing raspberries just to make us laugh.

And somehow, despite being worlds apart, both men found peace in exactly the same place.

A shed.
A chair.
Something to tinker with.
A bit of quiet.

Funny, that.

Now I’m older — older than I ever imagined myself becoming when I was young and invincible — I’ve realised I’m becoming a strange hybrid of both of them.

I’ll spend one afternoon carefully organising tools and muttering about “doing the job properly,” then the next I’m wandering around annoying Mrs Bob with terrible jokes and sound effects like a man who’s escaped supervised care.

I catch myself polishing shoes properly.
Taking pride in appearance.
Pottering in the garden.
Sitting in the shed just listening to the rain on the roof.

And honestly?

I don’t mind it one bit.

Because the older I get, the more I realise inheritance isn’t always money, property, or genetics.

Sometimes inheritance is smaller than that.

It’s habits.

Expressions.

Ways of sitting quietly with yourself.

The understanding that peace can sometimes be found with a mug of coffee in a shed while the world carries on without you for half an hour.

My own shed these days is a mixture of both men.

There’s the practical side — tools, chargers, bits of wood I refuse to throw away because they might become useful in approximately seventeen years time.

Then there’s the softer side.

A chair.
A rug.
A notebook.
A place to write scribbles that occasionally become poetry.

It’s not glamorous.
It’s not Pinterest-worthy.
And it certainly wouldn’t survive one of those minimalist home makeover shows.

But it’s mine.

And somewhere in its walls live echoes of both the men who helped shape me.

The firefighter with soil on his hands and kindness in his heart.

And the engineer with a sharp mind and an even sharper sense of humour.

Maybe becoming your grandparents isn’t something to fear after all.

Maybe, if you’re lucky, it’s something to be grateful for.

Because one day you realise the people you loved never really leave.

They remain in the small things.

In the way you make tea.
In the way you speak.
In the habits you never consciously chose.

Or in the way you smile quietly to yourself while sitting in a shed on a warm afternoon, completely at peace for the first time all week.

Stay safe

Bc

Dullahan 

In the ink of night, where shadows dance like whispers,  
Rides the Dullahan, headless, relentless.
Upon a steed as black as the void it carries.  
Eyes that are not there, see everything.
A mouth that does not speak screams silently.
For he is the herald of death,  
The unyielding messenger of the inevitable.

The road stretches endlessly under the moon’s cold gaze,  
As if the earth itself shudders at his coming.  
The Dullahan rides, a figure draped in darkness,  
Where laughter dies in the throat,  
Where hope flees like a hunted thing.  
He holds his head high, cradled like a grotesque lantern,  
Its grin wide, eyes rolling… searching
For the soul he seeks; for the life he will claim.

The air hangs heavy with the weight of his curse.
The clatter of hooves a dirge,  
An echo of finality that chills the marrow.  
Villages dare not whisper his name,  
Lest they summon his wrath;
Lest they feel the sweep of his unseen gaze.

No lock can bar his path.
No gate can halt his ride.  
For the Dullahan is unbound by the chains of the living,  
A spectre of grim purpose;
A harbinger of the end we all must meet.

And when he halts,  
When his steed rears before a trembling door,  

Silence falls like a shroud,  
And the air thickens with dread.

Yet, even as the Dullahan rides on,  
There is a flicker of something more.  
A mirror to our own mortality;
A reminder that the end is not an end,  
But merely the dark side of the moon.
A passage to the unknown.

So, listen for the hooves in the night.
Feel the chill that climbs your spine,  
And remember:  
The Dullahan rides for us all,  

One by one,  
Until the end of time.

(c)BobChristian

You did what?

 

I once told my wife she was wrong. Yeah, that only 

happened once.  

The walls took a deep breath like they were about to dive into drama,  

The clock decided to take a coffee break.

Even the cat gave me that “Dude?” look  

before moonwalking out of the room.

(c)BobChristian

N00d7es

A fluffy feline, all cuteness and coos,

Lulls the world with her innocent ruse.

But when the lights dim, a switch she flicks

Her furry façade hides her secrets and tricks.


For under the moonlight this agent elite

Prowls with a purpose, a master of sneak.

Leaping through shadows, her movements so fleet,

Unraveling mysteries, the world at her feet.


This furry ‘James Bond’, this cat of intrigue,

Keeps the world safe, though she acts like a geek.

By day she’s a kitten, all purrs and delight,

But by night she’s a warrior ready to fight!

(C)BobChristian

Mirror-Ball

Yesterday evening I saw a reel. Or short video, on Facebook.

It explains how to make a mirror-ball, you have to break lots of pieces of glass to create a beautiful item that shines beautifully.

So when you think you’re broken. Your not broken, your a just sparkly mirror-ball.

I then reimagined what was said, into this

Disco resurrection

Shattered shards, once discarded and forgotten,
Now gathered, polished, and reborn.
A disco ball, a beacon in the night,
Flashing, flirting, a mesmerizing sight.
Fractured fragments, their edges sharp and true,
Transformed into something wondrous, anew.
A symbol of resilience, a dance of light,
Your flishy, flashy, sparkling splendour, a dazzling delight.

(c)BobChristian